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Dom's (Possibly) Useful TROS Edit (WIP) — Page 19

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DominicCobb said:

PM me so I don’t forget. Although to anyone else reading I might stop giving out links. There’ll be at least one other workprint in the future before the V1, and it’d be nice to get some new eyes on it if possible (also I feel like I went too far on the bitrate and it looks like shit which is lowkey embarrassing for me).

I’ll wait for the next workprint then. Some of the cut order things will have to wait, but story beats I can track with just text. Make sure to comment when there’s a new workprint and I’ll PM to get a link then.

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I haven’t watched the whole thing, but the whole death star fight is perfect. I love the added music, Duel of the Fates fits right in. On the hangar scene, I really love the flashes of evil Rey. The only thing that could be improved is the “power” line, it feels a little more grainy than the rest of the dialogue and the audio cuts off near the end of the word. If that could be fixed I think the hangar scene would be perfect!

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Another thing to add to the “NO SOLUTION YET” category - trying to find a way to include more of Luke’s conversation with Rey. “She saw your spirit, your heart,” and “some things are stronger than blood” could work if given the right context through new lines, but I’m not sure what there is to work with. Any ideas?

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 (Edited)

DominicCobb said:

Another thing to add to the “NO SOLUTION YET” category - trying to find a way to include more of Luke’s conversation with Rey. “She saw your spirit, your heart,” and “some things are stronger than blood” could work if given the right context through new lines, but I’m not sure what there is to work with. Any ideas?

You could still cut, “Because you’re a Palpatine”, but change Luke’s next line to, “Leia saw it, too”, meaning that Leia saw the vision of Rey on the dark throne, just like Rey did. Then you could keep the lines about Leia still training her because she saw her spirit and her heart. You could take “saw” from “Because she saw your spirit, your heart.”

The other line is a bit trickier. During that close-up of Rey, right before Luke says “Some things are stronger than blood”, you could give him a new line instead of just saying “Rey”. Maybe something to suggest Leia and Rey had a bond stronger than blood.

Leia knew you. Rey. Some things are stronger than blood.
Rey. Leia knew you, because some things are stronger than blood.
Leia knew it, because some things are stronger than blood.
Leia saw it, because some things are stronger than blood.

If you don’t mind, while we’re on the topic I would like to share a few more thoughts about this scene.

After this, Luke says, “Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny. If you don’t face Palpatine, it will mean the end of the Jedi. And the war will be lost.”

I really feel like the specificity of what Luke is saying here sort of weakens what he is trying to tell Rey. Also, him saying “If you don’t face Palpatine, it will be the end of the Jedi. And the war will be lost”, has a lot of similar vibes to this interaction:

Obi-Wan: You can’t escape your destiny. You must face Darth Vader again.

Luke: I can’t kill my own father.

Obi-Wan: Then the Emperor has already won. You were our last hope.

I think it would be nice to see Luke take a different approach with Rey, after receiving this lecture himself. Show how he is a different kind of Jedi than his own mentors. I don’t know if it would work, but it would be nice to see Luke keep the lesson more personal. Something like:

Luke: Confronting fear is the destiny of the Jedi. Your destiny. If you don’t face it, it will mean the end of the Jedi. And the war in your heart will be lost.

I’m sure that might sound a little cheesy, but when it comes down to it, Star Wars is less about these galactic-scale wars, and more about the war between good and evil in each of us. I think it would be nice if Luke himself, in the final film of the saga, summed up that message to Rey. We can’t just bury our fears like the Jedi in the prequels did, we have to confront them. Does he have to be so on the nose? Maybe not, but I feel like his message ends on a much more superficial note ending the way it currently does.

Anyway, just some thoughts. Might be worth trying at least.

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I’m going over “Leia saw it too” in my head. Just might work. I love that you always find these simple solutions, I had a few in my head that were really complicated.

I’m digging the other lines. Not sure where “in” comes from but maybe I’m overlooking something obvious. Seems like it could be choppy but I guess the only way to know will by to try it out. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. That’s why I haven’t done the Finn/Jannah dialogue change, because I can’t source a good “fight” from him that matches “we all need to.”

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The other thing that could be a “no solution yet” is 3PO losing his memory for good. I know this is an idea that has been floated before, has anyone come up with anything? Obviously it’d be achieved with new 3PO lines, is there some sort of list of his TCW dialogue by any chance, anyone know?

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Actually one other one, back to Luke, during his flashback VO, saying “Leia sensed the birth of her son.”

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Haha, thanks for saying that. At first I was actually thinking we could see flashes of the vision to imply Luke sense what she was thinking, but then I remembered Rey literally says she saw herself on the throne…

The “in” could come from “A thousand generations live in you now”.

Yeah, perhaps if that is too much, he could just say, “And you will be lost.”

One idea I had about that Finn/Jannah moment. First, you could cut Jannah’s line, “You say that like you’re sure it’s real”, and either extend that shot after she stops talking to make it a simple reaction shot of her, or use a different reaction shot of her. Then, you could cut Finn’s line, “It’s real” with something else. This is what I’m thinking right now.

Finn: The Force. The Force brought me here. It brought me to Rey. And Poe.

Jannah watches Finn as he continues to speak.

Finn: The Resistance. It’s where we belong.

Cut back to Finn.

Finn: I wasn’t sure then, but I am now.

I’m not sure a good place to pull “The Resistance” from, but I know he must say it a few times throughout the films. You could pull “where we belong” from that TLJ deleted scene. It could be nice to utilize Rose’s theme here, as well, especially if you have trouble isolating that line from the score.

I feel like this would be a natural way to get to that point without the lines feeling too choppy, but you never know with this sort of thing until you try it.

Perhaps we could figure something out with dialogue in the scene. Maybe Finn could say some variation of:

And it brought you here.
And it brought me to you.
Now it brought you to me.

Or something even more subtle, like:

The Force. The Force brought me here. It brought me to Rey. And Poe.

Cut to Jannah.

Finn: Now you.

Jannah: You say that like you’re sure it’s real.

Maybe not as clear as the other idea, but some line like one of these might be more seamless, but still get a hint of that idea across.

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 (Edited)

DominicCobb said:

The other thing that could be a “no solution yet” is 3PO losing his memory for good. I know this is an idea that has been floated before, has anyone come up with anything? Obviously it’d be achieved with new 3PO lines, is there some sort of list of his TCW dialogue by any chance, anyone know?

This is something I was playing with six months ago. It definitely needs some tweaking here and there, but I think some variation of these new lines could possibly work. I think I still have the audio files I was working off of on my computer somewhere. Let me know and I can send them to you.

https://vimeo.com/434479633

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 (Edited)

DominicCobb said:

Actually one other one, back to Luke, during his flashback VO, saying “Leia sensed the birth of her son.”

Some variations on the Leia line:

Leia told me that she sensed she would have a son…

Leia told me that she was to have a son…

Leia sensed that she would have her son… at the end of her Jedi training.

Leia told me that she had sensed her death at the end of her Jedi path.

Leia told me that she had sensed death at the end of her Jedi path.

It was the last night of her training. Leia told me that she had sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path… Because of Palpatine… She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.

It was the last night of her training. Leia told me that she had sensed that she was at the end of her Jedi path. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.

Leia told me that she was at the end of her Jedi path.

Leia had sensed that she was at the end of her Jedi path.

EDIT:
Remove the first “It was the last night of her training” line.

Leia told me that sensed that she would have her son at the end of her training. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day she would finish her Jedi path.

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RogueLeader said:

Haha, thanks for saying that. At first I was actually thinking we could see flashes of the vision to imply Luke sense what she was thinking, but then I remembered Rey literally says she saw herself on the throne…

I had the same thought process. I was like “I can’t do the flashes again” but then I watched the scene and yeah she mentions the vision and even uses the “saw” terminology to match with the new potential Luke line.

The “in” could come from “A thousand generations live in you now”.

Yeah, perhaps if that is too much, he could just say, “And you will be lost.”

I’ll have to try things out.

One idea I had about that Finn/Jannah moment. First, you could cut Jannah’s line, “You say that like you’re sure it’s real”, and either extend that shot after she stops talking to make it a simple reaction shot of her, or use a different reaction shot of her. Then, you could cut Finn’s line, “It’s real” with something else. This is what I’m thinking right now.

Finn: The Force. The Force brought me here. It brought me to Rey. And Poe.

Jannah watches Finn as he continues to speak.

Finn: The Resistance. It’s where we belong.

Cut back to Finn.

Finn: I wasn’t sure then, but I am now.

Hmm you know that’s pretty clever. Honestly you might not even need the “it’s” depending on how it sounds.

I’m not sure a good place to pull “The Resistance” from, but I know he must say it a few times throughout the films. You could pull “where we belong” from that TLJ deleted scene. It could be nice to utilize Rose’s theme here, as well, especially if you have trouble isolating that line from the score.

Yes, I’d definitely want to quote Rose’s theme for that scene if we can work in new lines.

I feel like this would be a natural way to get to that point without the lines feeling too choppy, but you never know with this sort of thing until you try it.

Perhaps we could figure something out with dialogue in the scene. Maybe Finn could say some variation of:

And it brought you here.
And it brought me to you.
Now it brought you to me.

Or something even more subtle, like:

The Force. The Force brought me here. It brought me to Rey. And Poe.

Cut to Jannah.

Finn: Now you.

Jannah: You say that like you’re sure it’s real.

Maybe not as clear as the other idea, but some line like one of these might be more seamless, but still get a hint of that idea across.

Good to have other options to play with, we’ll see what we can do!

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RogueLeader said:

DominicCobb said:

The other thing that could be a “no solution yet” is 3PO losing his memory for good. I know this is an idea that has been floated before, has anyone come up with anything? Obviously it’d be achieved with new 3PO lines, is there some sort of list of his TCW dialogue by any chance, anyone know?

This is something I was playing with six months ago. It definitely needs some tweaking here and there, but I think some variation of these new lines could possibly work. I think I still have the audio files I was working off of on my computer somewhere. Let me know and I can send them to you.

https://vimeo.com/434479633

Well damn, those work pretty well! You do lose one of the best jokes in the film, but I think it’s probably worth it (plus you do gain another joke at least).

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RogueLeader said:

DominicCobb said:

Actually one other one, back to Luke, during his flashback VO, saying “Leia sensed the birth of her son.”

Some variations on the Leia line:

Leia told me that she sensed she would have a son…

Leia told me that she was to have a son…

Leia sensed that she would have her son… at the end of her Jedi training.

Leia told me that she had sensed her death at the end of her Jedi path.

Leia told me that she had sensed death at the end of her Jedi path.

It was the last night of her training. Leia told me that she had sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path… Because of Palpatine… She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.

It was the last night of her training. Leia told me that she had sensed that she was at the end of her Jedi path. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.

Leia told me that she was at the end of her Jedi path.

Leia had sensed that she was at the end of her Jedi path.

EDIT:
Remove the first “It was the last night of her training” line.

Leia told me that sensed that she would have her son at the end of her training. She surrendered her saber to me and said that one day she would finish her Jedi path.

Thanks. I’ll have to chew on these.

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Just wanted to let you know Dom that I haven’t forgotten about this work-print and I really appreciate you taking the time to provide the link.

I haven’t yet gotten around to giving it a watch, but I will certainly try to sometime this week, so expect a thorough post of jottings and notes I’ll take while I watch! 😃

Can’t wait to see how the Rey Nobody scenes play out!

My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones!

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I’d love to take a look at your workprint. The clips you’ve posted so far look really good!

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May I also receive a link to see the work print? Thank you in advance!

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Two Quick question.

Does the chess scene was moved to the end (like Hal and some other faneditors did) in this edit?

Does this edit contain other Hal’s change- Palpatine explaining to Kylo that if he kills him he ll overtake his body instead of stupid explaining it to Rey?