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CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits) — Page 3

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Ok, I understand. Well it seems that Carima has made see the reality of the situation to the resistance and Anakin is being tortured. I would like to tell you more, but there is no more to say about this update. ;)
I am very eager to see the next one.

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 (Edited)

_Huzzah, regular updates again! The following sequence is probably the most conversation heavy of my scripments thus far, as both scenes (especially the latter) have been in my mind a long time and I felt I couldn’t quite do justice to their tone without quoted dialogue. Enjoy and I hope to get to some more action-y bits next update. _

Cut to a pair of hands picking up a blaster rifle, which we soon see belong to steely eyed Carima inside the resistance headquarters. From behind her, Fordala says she goes to rescue Anakin, she won’t survive. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t; but he needs my help, and I don’t care how many troops I have to go through to give it to him.” She grabs a few thermal detonators from the supplies and one of the resistance members starts to object, but Fordala silently stops him.

One of the Republic soldiers walks up to Nivir and tellers that they do have their mission orders from Commander Skywalker, and that they intend to follow them. She grimly nods and says she understands, but he interjects and adds that the Commander didn’t specify which officers were assigned to the mission, and since a rescue is a high security operation, she could use a small escort team as backup. He then gestures to roughly half of the platoon who move alongside her and offer their help.

This brings a grateful smile to Carima, whom gives him a very warm thanks. It also causes Fordala to scoff and say the plan of knocking out the power supply and back-ups was bad enough before, and that splitting the platoon gives them no chance of pulling it off now. He points out that Skywalker may have been crazy but the only chance they have is sticking to his plan; it won’t be a rescue it’ll be suicide.

She stares at him and the other resistance members with questioning eyes and asks if he’s offering to change the odds. Stubbornly as always Fordala growls that none of them signed up for this mission or agreed to follow a Jedi’s orders. Tone getting intense, Carima says she’s not asking them to, she’s asking him to do what has to be done to help save a lot of innocent people. Practically shouting, Fordala angrily reiterates that they are not dying for a Republic that left them to rot here.

At that Carima’s voice turns quiet and her face melancholy. “You what what? They did. They left you behind, gave you commands they probably had no right to give, and told you die for them.” She looks up at all the resistance members around the room. “You know what Anakin did? Gave himself up to get captured by the Coalition to do whatever sick things they have so you could be safe. And that’s because he believed people like you deserved better than to be treated as disposable. Because when he was given a choice, he served others first.” She turns back to Fordala

“Now you got a choice; no one’s giving any orders here, pal. You can work with the Lieutenant, help take out the power supply with the backups, and make sure other people out there never go through what all of you did. Or you can just be like all the empty suits at Republic HQ; safe and secure while everybody else suffers and dies for them. Do what you have to Commander, I would hope that’s what you’re best at.”

This statement visibly punctures the tough defenses of the resistance members in the room, Fordala included and Carima looks at them a moment longer before turning to the Republic soldiers. She tells them to get moving as the invasion will start very soon. She and the entire platoon begin to walk out before a voice yells for them to wait. Nivir slowly turns back to look at them, face neutral and eyes forward.

The face of Fordala is a bit softer, as if wistfully recalling some distant past feeling long since forgotten. “I can’t stand being talked down to by a big shot, overconfident, loud mouthed civilian who thinks they know everything.” He pauses. “And I really can’t stand it when they’re right.” Fordala looks at the resistance members and asks if they’re in. They look among themselves and affirm that they are. He picks up his own blaster rifle and hangs it on these shoulders. “If we have to help out these Republic hotshots, I say let’s show them how its done.”

A small smile emerges on Carima’s face and she tells the Republic Lieutenant to get the mission plan ready. She asks how he’s going to find Anakin and she reminds him that just like them, his internal tracer is still being picked up by their communicator. One of the officers says she has to ask if there’s a possibility if Skywalker might already be dead. Nivir’s face is solemn but she gives him answer. “Anakin will survive. I don’t know if its the Force or what, but if there’s a way to keep going, he’ll find it.”

Cut to 81 sitting and examining a data padd in his Darelda’s quarters as Organa walks in. He says that as her personal security droid he is strongly recommending she ask the Jedi to be allowed to evacuate and he escort her in a separate ship until the situation is safe. She pauses before asking what the thought the actual odds were that she would in any way agree to that. “Astronomically low I admit,” he replies. “but for a droid protocol is next to godliness after all.”

There’s a beat and she inquires why the seclusion, with him responding that peace and quiet are precious resources these days, especially on a warship. The senator agrees, but points out its unusual for him to so actively seek it out. All 81 can do is shrug and state they live in very unusual times. “Hmm, never a happy individual saying that sentence, is it?” Darelda brings up the real issue at hand; that he’s worried about the upcoming battle.

At that HX stands, his form towering over the average sized Organa. He makes it clear that he’s not particularly perturbed about what will happen if they fail, as he’s already calculated it’ll most likely mean their quick deaths in a shipwide explosion before the Coalition can get to them. She gives him a brief blank stare before replying. “Oh, just that then.” He ignores this and asks that if anyone’s considered what will happen to those in Republic who sought armistice if the mission succeeds.

At her silence, 81 lays out the likely backlash coming for such people. “People hate traitors who have perfectly good reasons, let alone those with bad ones.” He predicts the consequences for just those in the Senate alone will bitterly divide it even more. Darelda shakes her at and responds that she can’t let the infighting there get any worse and that if they do get Coruscant back, she has to get the Senate united again. He looks her straight in the eye and inquires if there’s anyone she thinks could help her pull it off. Organa looks away briefly and gives reluctant answer. “There is… one.”

In Nellith’s quarters, Kenobi walks in and informs her they just got out of hyperspace ahead of the coalition and are about the send the coded message to the Republic. She says nothing, with only small nod acknowledging his statement.

Subtle concern on his face, he slowly makes his way over to her. Not looking back at him, she softly but with a hint of hardness says that she’ll have one of the crew include her own communique in the coded message, one that she’s positive will reach most of the prominent Jedi leadership in the galaxy soon enough. Neutral tone and all, he asks what she’ll be saying. Nellith finally turns slightly to look at him, the audience just briefly seeing all the decades of regret fully coming out in her before her eyes turned cold as she says… all available Jedi are moving to the front.

That answer gives Kenobi no real satisfaction, just a grim acknowledgment of what she’s just agreed to. He moves a short distance next to her, now both watching the moving stars. The younger Knight makes an effort at some reassurance “I know its going to terrible, wars like these always are. But the people will be safe, this Republic will endure. We’ll protect it; every future Jedi will remember that.”

Korusya can take no more, and Obi-Wan sees her fully turn to face him, looking to be on the verge of bitter laughter and furious outburst. “You know they’ll remember Sir Kenobi? They’ll remember that some of the greatest teachers, engineers, and healers in the galaxy went to the frontline to fight, and those that came back could never be the people they were ever again. And they’ll wonder those about who made this decision knowing what they were destroying and ask “Did they care at all?””

Its a mountain of emotion for Ben to take in, yet he only has one response. “A Jedi is willing to give up anything for the Republic.” Nellith pauses, but bitterly nods.“Anything.” She tears the lightsaber away from her neck. “And everything.”

On the bridge of Phakerem’s cruiser one of her captains tells her the fleet is about to be out of hyperspace. She starts to say they can’t stay here long, but is cut off when the ship comes out of lightspeed to find a Jedi fleet awaiting them. The same captain asks how they got here first and the General angrily yells that he’s forgotten his history. “They’re Jedi, they find ways!” Another captain asks how they’ll engage them, and Phakerem orders him to to target the largest cruisers at the front and center first.

She inquires about the integrity of enemy shields and one of the bridge crew tells her that while strong, their own cruisers will outlast them in any kind of extended firefight. Very quickly her angry frown turns into a delighted evil grin at their prospects. “No hiding spot, no space to run, just time. A perfect target.” After a moment however, her twisted smile turns into a small frown as she quietly repeats “A perfect… target” to herself as the crew looks at her confused.

The direct battle only a few moments away, she abruptly turns to the captain closest to her and questions why the Jedi would engage now. “They can’t defeat the fleet, they’re not keeping safe in Quandmar and they know we can outmatch any reinforcements they call in. There’s no reason to be here.” The captain replies they may have a secret strategy in mind and voice getting quicker she asks why they’d wait to use it till they’re at a disadvantage. Consternation now taking over she states there’s no strategy to be seen except delaying the inevitable.

That last comment lingers for just a moment and the realization hits her like a freight train. For once, the powerful Mandalorian leader speaks in almost a low whisper. “They want us here. They wanted us in the nebula. We fell for a diversion.” Phakerem turns abruptly to the navigator and the communication officer and tells them to get the cruiser back into hyperspace and to relay the same order to the rest of the fleet.

On the Republic cruiser bridge, Darelda and 81 watch the Coalition ships move out just as Kenobi and Nellith arrive. Ben asks what the Mandalorians are doing and Organa retorts that they’re apparently retreating. The battle droid observes that’s an odd response to a battle they’re sure to win. Korusya flatly says they’ve already figured out the plan. “At this point in the war, nothing’s more suspicious to a Mandalorian than a definitive victory over a Jedi.”

An officer cuts in and says an intercepted enemy code suggests they’re definitely heading towards a planet, but before he can name it, Obi-Wan grimly concludes the exact heading to be Coruscant and asks 81 if all of the fleet can beat the Coalition ships to the planet. HX shakes his head no. Weight of the galaxy on shoulders, Kenobi can only say “Then for now, Anakin’s the best hope the Republic’s got.

Cut to the floor of the torture room with a slow pan up to reveal an exhausted and trembling Anakin, just barely sitting against the wall, His face is red and eyes bloodshot, his form clearly struggling to even breathe after all the pain he’s experienced. “Very good… Chancellor. You’re… you’re as ineffective as you are… delusional.” Cut to Crayde sitting in his office, quietly furious watching the defiant Skywalker, whom continues to talk. “Tell me, is enough appreciation for you?”

Draezin continues to stare daggers for a moment before asking in a low, accusatory tone what Nik thinks any of this opposition is accomplishing. He questions that given both of them know that the Jedi will be dead soon one way or another, what is their to be gained from this ridiculous last stand. Cut back to Skywalker as he once again manages a very small satisfied smile and tells him its the same thing that’s kept him going this entire conflict; the satisfaction of opposing twisted people like Crayde.

The other man abruptly stands up, his patience long since evaporated. “Are you people capable of anything other than than self righteous moralizing? The typical Jedi oh, I expect this sort of talk, but you Skywalker; I was hoping for something a little different.” He mentions all the intelligence he’d read about Anakin, bringing up how his name appears almost more than any other Jedi’s in their reports and that given how much he’s seen of the war, he should be much smarter than this. “All that, and yet how little understand.”

Between hard breaths Nik states the last being he’s getting any enlightenment from is a corrupt ex-Sanator turned Mandalorian lackey; adding that Crayde needs to realize no matter how this war ends the galaxy will have no use for him. That remark gets Draezin in close, his holographic face inches away from Anakin. “I am… the galaxy.” The Jedi just scowls at him. Crayde stands back up and begins to pace around, shaking his head.

“Do you know what the eternal constant in this universe is, Skywalker? Its not the Mandalorians, its not the Republic, its not even the Jedi. Its people like me. All of your little propaganda has gone on and on about how how I’m the scum that double crossed the his people, behold the monster that’s helping to destroy everything good and decent. But I come from the same place as you. Just like the Hutts on Nar Shadda do. Just like the pirates on Ord Mantell. Just like every crooked rep in the Senate trying right now to figure out how to best appeal to me for a peace deal.”

At this point, its Anakin getting quietly angry, refusing to accept Draezin’s premise. The latter continues, however. “You see, Jedi like you think that once you win, all those terrible Mandalorians are destroyed, and those like me are put away, that galactic peace will reign eternal again. “Look out your window citizen, because justice has returned!” But its not going to be that way, because the problem? The problem is the Republic, Skywalker. Its broken, and it has been since long before you or I.”

The chancellor begins to look satisfied, increasingly proud of his argument. “And I know you’re thinking in the back of your mind, “We’ll get a new Senate, take out all of crime lords, put a Jedi on every street corner the galaxy if we have to.” And all it’ll do is just make it easier for the next Jabba the Hutt to grab all the power that they can. Because the truth is young Skywalker, the Republic gives the galaxy disorder, and dares to calls it democracy and freedom.”

There’s an attempt by Anakin to stand up, but he still quite can’t, and relents to sitting slightly higher while saying through gritted teeth (and anxious eyes) that even if he did believe a word of that, what’s happened under the Coalition prove its far worse. Crayde doesn’t care, only offering an evil smile “Coalition, Republic. Same crumbling house with new owners. In the end, the only thing that matters is making sure you get the nicest room in the place, and in that regard, I’d say I’m the master.”

A silence passes, soon broken by Skywalker himself whom says in a low, though slightly unsure voice that he doesn’t believe him. The older man shrugs, expressing that its a shame Nik isn’t convinced, and that he’ll just have to allay his disappointment with the Anakin’s pending execution. The younger man replies he can kill him, but nothing will change the fact that there will be other Jedi.

Draezin surprisingly agrees, and states what’s why Skywalker’s taking a brief detour to the medical wing first. At the Jedi’s confused face the he explains that true to his generous nature as Chancellor, he’s giving a little compensation for his upcoming demise with the gift of immortality. “Of a sort anyway.” As Nik’s eyes go wide, Crayde tells him that the Coalition will soon reveal one of their greatest spoils of this war; a clone of the great Anakin Skywalker.

Draezin enjoys the Jedi’s immediate horror at that prospect and says one last thing before the hologram turns off. “I do hope he makes for better conversation than you did.” Camera cuts out on Nik’s face just as various clone troopers arrive to escort him to his fate.

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Sorry for not having commented the previous update, I was waiting for the next one to give you something more. I liked a lot for now, specifically the last conversation between Anakin and Crayde. I look forward to the next update!

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Wow, Great update! Finally Nellith has officially agreed to take the Jedi to fight, and great conversation between Nik and Crayde.
I am very eager to see the next one.

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An interesting update, An interesting update, Anakin and Crayde have an interesting talk about the Republic, and he wants to clone Anakin. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan and the others try to delay the Mandalorians and Nellith accept that the Jedi are needed to win the war.
I look forward to the next update.

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Hey, excuse me for not having comented before've been a little busy these days. It's a great start for Act 3, Carima has convinced Fordala to help with the mission and to rescue Skywalker, Nellith understands the situation and knows that to win the war, the Jedi must be brought to the front lines and Skywalker and Crayde have a nice talk. And I liked the idea that Crayde want to create a clone of Skywalker. I look forward to see the next part.

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That’s right folks, finally an update after all time. I have no excuse for the delay; work and various other things have taken up my time, but part of its also the third act being more action heavy plot elements (getting characters from point A to point B) which is also trickier for me to write than the character focus and dialogue work which I love doing. I’ve also edited my previous update as well, inserting the confrontation between the Jedi and the Mandalorians outside the nebula and Phakerem’s realization about the former’s plan since I finally figured out when I wanted the scene to happen. The tone of Nellith’s scene with Kenobi has also been altered, as her sad lament felt less impactful than an undercurrent of cold fury which feels like it adds greater stakes.

I know that that the following new material is not the big update a lot of you (and myself) were hoping for, but I do feel like I’ve got my momentum back, and hopefully this can be a small preview of the Episode II conclusion that I’m going to try and have regular updates on in the next couple of weeks. Thanks again for your continued interest in this silly little project of mine, your feedback has been invaluable (and great motivation for finishing it), my apologies for the long delay, and without further ado, the continuing story of Star Wars Episode II: A Galaxy’s Fury.

Cut to resistance forces near the power center, lying crouched. From Fordala’s communicator, Carima asks Fordala how quickly before Coalition troops are alerted to the plan. He replies not much time, but adds that they do have the benefit of the Mandalorians not expecting an attack this suicidally stupid. She replies “Trust me,you’d be surprised at how well that works as an advantage.” The older soldier brings up that none of the resistance can afford to help her if her rescue plan goes south.

Cut to Nivir hiding among various cruisers. With acceptance settling on her face, she tells him that if they’re in trouble no amount of help will make a difference. Fordala mentions when the time’s right they’ll launch the attack. He sighs.“You know if we all make it out of here, I swear that boy of yours is getting a hit right to the face.” Without a beat she answers back, “Get in line commander, I owe him that honor first.” There’s a small scoff as he tells her not to keep up that kind of talk; he might begin to enjoy her company. She wishes him luck and switches off the communicator.

With the last of Skywalker’s platoon along side her, Carima scans the area and examines the sleek skyscraper close by. One of the Republic soldiers brings up several ways of getting, suggesting they detonate a hole, steal a ship to get on the roof, or draw initial forces out of the building while sneaking in. She spots a spice transport speeder being let into the structure with several more on their way over. “How about we try the front door.”

Cut to inside the skyscraper where a similar speeder with vehicle skirt moves slowly into the building. Various clone troops in numerous positions guide the process along with one nearby giving it a routine scan. Immediately however a small beeping noise comes from the clone’s device and she reports to the others various warm heat sources within the spice load. The commander present orders the others to ready their weapons as they prepare to open the hatch, with one of the clones muttering about the desperation of the resistance.

Clones climb the vehicle and open up the top hatch, seeing only dull red lim spice down below. The commander still on the ground gives them a small nod, leading the group to all shoot into the opening, but doing little more than blasting the supply. The lack of reaction causes confusion at first, with one of the clones starting to say she saw some kind of electronic device before she’s cut off by a large explosion that blasts off inside the spice.

Instantly annihilating the nearby soldiers, the others can only barely react when most are hit by blaster fire from low on the ground. Left alone among the survivors, the commander attempts to sound an alarm but is knocked out by a stun beam right to his torso. All immediate enemies gone, from underneath the skirts of the half destroyed speeder crawl Carima and company; dirty and roughed up from the explosion, yet still intact.

The former quickly dusts herself off and gives some small thanks “Body temperature to discharge in 30 seconds flat; bless the makers of the modern thermal detonator. “ A Republic lieutenant grabs the knocked out commander as Carima points to the a large scale service elevator and the platoon quickly moves in. Nivir looks at her scanner tracking Anakin’s location, hiding most of her anxiousness as best she can.

Inside the lift the lieutenant punches in a high floor number with his free hand and the computer asks for a security retina scan. He forces open the eye of the still stunned commander into the scanner and after a few tense moments, its accepted. With a heave, the latter’s knocked out body is tossed out just as the doors close. A Republic soldier to the lieutenant’s left pips up that they can’t believe that worked and he replies that’s the downside of mass produced clones at different positions: “Same eye, same clearance.”

As the elevator car speeds its way up, one of them reluctantly asks what they’ll do if Skywalker is indeed dead. She meets the gazes of the others and starts to respond, but try as she might Carima has no answer. Only the low hum of the lift breaks the silence.

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Welcome back! Before commenting on the new update I have a doubt about the order of scenes:
“Cut to a pair of hands picking up a blaster rifle, which we soon see belong to steely eyed Carima inside the resistance headquarters…”
This scene, which you placed in the previous update (which is modified, as you said), but this scene is on the last update of page 2 of the topic, my question is: what is the right order? because if it is new, you should delete the scene of that update (page 2) from the topic.
“Cut to Nivir hiding among various cruisers. With acceptance settling on her face, she tells him that if they’re in trouble no amount of help will make a difference. Trukiz mentions…”
And another question I have is that in this scene of this update, Trukiz appears, if I remember correctly, Trukiz was the person with whom Anakin and the rest were to contact once they found the resistance, but when they find it, Fordala says Trukiz died weeks ago. Then it is a mistake? or Trukis (like this in this update) and Trukiz are not the same person, and just change the last letter?

And a question that I’ve been thinking, how do your Jedi dress in your prequels, or at least Anakin (as a Jedi) and Obi-Wan? Like in the original prequels? As in The Clone Wars (2008 TV-Series)? Or as Luke in Episode VI?
I have also doubts to the appearance of Phakerem, it’s kind Jango Fett, but in woman version or as the first Mandalorians as Star Wars Wiki says: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Taung
I’ll give you feedback when you put the next update, as this update is not much to say.

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Much thanks for the observations ChRomer, I’ve edited the previous entry to remove the redundant sections and changed Trukiz to Fordala (slight error in the find and replace function).

As far as Jedi uniform, there not too dissimilar to Obi-Wan’s in the 70s Marvel comic: http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090112053641/starwars/images/a/a3/Obiwan_silent_drifting.jpg>

Basically the uniforms of Jedi Knights and students of Knights largely vary in color and emphasis. Less experienced ones with more colors becoming more and more one solid color the more experience they get. Obi-Wan largely sticks with that dark blue and Anakin with a gray gradually turning black.

As far as Phakerem, its a mix between Fett’s armor and something very similar to Taung. Various Mandalorians also look pretty hideous too, being stitched together from various parts; a visual metaphor for the unnatural nature in contrast to the Jedi and frightening preview of what they plan to do to the galaxy. They’ll take it apart and put it back together in the idea of improving, no matter what the cost or horror involved. Its not something I’ve brought up because I plan on eventually rewriting Episode I and II to bring it up.

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An interesting update(too short, though). Phakerem has already discovered the plan of the Jedi and Carima and Fordala are close to rescue Anakin. I wish I could tell you more, but from this update there is nothing more to say.
I look forward to the following parts. Good Job.

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Hi again! Good small preview of what’s coming, I like this way the conversation between Ben and Nellith than the previous one. And Carima is approaching to Anakin. Let’s hope that the next update will be more longer to give you a wider feedback. 😉

Thanks and I’m looking forward for the next one.

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Finally updates start, I wish it had been a longer update, but hey, if we join the modifications and new added, is more or less a regular update. Good job, reading this update leaves you wanting more.

Let’s hope that soon we can enjoy another update.

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What a pleasant surprise, we can finally get back to enjoy your Episode II. This update is interesting, Fordala and Nivir have already entered the building in which they retain Skywalker, we’ll see what happens when they find him.
Good job, and I look forward to the next part.

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Well believe it or not, I’ve actually kept up my pace and have a new update, with two small bits of news. First I added a scene of HX and Darelda in the October update (just a small character bit which will build towards Organa’s conclusion in Episode II). Also I’m hoping to have a small but significant update within two days. Thanks again for your interest and so the Act III action continues.

Cut to a large fleet of Republic ships quickly making their way towards Coruscant. On the lead ship is a tired, but clearly determined Bail Organa making his last pre-battle orders. He gives a small speech to the fleet, telling them that they’re not just fighting for the occupied territories, the people back home, or fellow troops; they’re fighting for future generations. “Today, we start ending this war and we make damn sure its that last one our children ever have to see. Get in your attack positions and may the force be with us.”

Lying on the floor of his cell still exhausted, Anakin surveys the room looking for any sort of escape method. He pulls himself up and looks through his prison window and spots two guard soldiers a few meters away. Powering through the pain, he tries to use his powers to pull their blasters over, but a finds himself distracted by something in the Force he doesn’t understand. His second attempt via a Jedi mind trick begins to have some success, with one of the guards beginning to talk of letting him go.

However, again he perceives something off around him, sensing strange voices and thoughts he can’t place. Any other attempt is rendered moot when a small squad of elite clone soldiers arrives and when he doesn’t initially obey their commands, knocks him to the ground with a stun blaster. The group lifts him up and begins to escort him off.

In his home, Crayde is amused watching a recording of Anakin’s torture session. He’s about to pour himself a congratulatory drink when the highest alert alarm goes off He’s quickly disturbed and on a communication screen a clone officer says that Republic ships are in the system and on their to the planet. A small bit of dread beginning to appear on him, the Chancellor inquires how many ships and is soon told its a grand fleet.

Out of his element for the first time in a long while he stammers out an order to call for reinforcements and to get all planetary defenses ready. Before he leaves, Draezin looks at his torture video once more and upon seeing the defiant face of his recorded victim, quietly puts the pieces together. He spits out a hateful echo of the name Skywalker before ordering for his personal shuttle be readied to take him to the cloning lab.

In space, the battle begins with Republic ships taking on the initial Coalition defenses. The former has some initial success, with the Mandalorian and Clone forces caught relatively unaware and scrambling to create some type of organized defense. Admiral Organa orders the fleet to not focus on specific targets and to disable as many of the enemy ships as they can even if they can’t outright. destroy them. He emphasizes they need to create holes in the defense to land on the planet and to decrease enemy presence before reinforcements arrive.

On the Jedi cruiser, the ship is just about to come out of hyperspace and Kenobi tells everyone they’re going to fight their way through whatever of Phakerem’s fleet are there and join the Republic attack. Darelda can be heard quietly whispering for Bail to be safe with 81 giving her a slightly awkward supportive embrace on the shoulder Ben shares a look with Nellith, whose cold distant eyes briefly bother him before he turns back forward.

They come out of hyperspace and immediately sees none of the heavy Coalition vessels; just small planetary ships in the distance and friendly forces, including one close to them. Organa in half dis-belief/half delight says they beat them to the punch, only for a large and ugly Mandalorian battleship to immediately enter the field of view and destroy the nearby Republic ship with just a few hits.

The general’s ship itself now blasts its way into the system from lightspeed while on the bridge, Phakerem’s fears are quickly proven when she sees the Republic forces making their advance. Just barely containing her rage, she orders the what’s arrived of her fleet to halt any progress by the enemy. One of the crew asks what they’ll do about any reinforcements likely coming from the nebula, she makes it clear they’re to be ignored as long as possible, iterating that she is done chasing Jedi.

As more of Phakerem’s forces begin showing up out of hyperspace Kenobi and company are silent and horrified except for Koruysa’s scant words, “Let the rains fall.”

Cut to an elevator door opening and out stepping various small Republic soldiers, guns trained. At their rear Carima looks carefully around and then back at her scanner. She says they can’t stick around as Anakin’s position is moving quickly for the first time in hours and she wagers its not for anything good. The lieutenant says they have to assess the threat on the floor, and Nivir replies they’ll do exactly that, just very quickly. Almost but not quite running, the squad goes down the hall.

After turning a corner they immediately run into a small group of Mandalorian scientists and guards, shocked at their arrival. One of the latter attempts to draw a weapon, but the squadron shoots him down and very soon the hallway is a mess of fleeing bystanders and blaster fire. When the smoke clears, the Repuplic soldiers are left standing while various Mandalorian bodies lie on the ground. The brief silence is cut by a loud alarm going off all through the building. Carima curses and yells over the alert to move.

As his shuttle flies through the air Crayde overlooks the chaos on the surface of Coruscant, and is reassured by the sight of ships launching and planetary cannons/blasters firing into space. His communicator goes off and he’s informed that defenses are holding, yet there have been reports of possible resistance activity. His former anger rapidly returning, in a huff he shouts that their being invaded and to deal with the resistance later. Despite the protests on the other line, he repeats his orders and tells the shuttle pilot to increase speed to the skyscraper.

Admiral Organa watches grimly as the battle momentum begin to shift with more Coalition ships coming from Coruscant, inability to land any ground forces, and their own vessels being blasted by the planetary cannon. He checks if any more reinforcements have arrived and the officer at the scanner station says only a few Jedi ships have shown up. Bail’s second in command recommends a tactical retreat as an option, but after a half second hesitation, says “We stay until its over.”

Both Nellith and Kenobi are giving out various orders on the bridge of the cruiser; her focusing on their offensive strategies and Ben on defensive maneuvers. Even 81 is at a scanning station relaying information to both Jedi while Darelda is assisting with communication as best she can. Korusya tells Obi-Wan an direct assault on Phakerem’s ships has to be done to create a hole for the Republic fleet. He notices the fire in her eyes as she talks and he sternly agrees.

Quick cut and camera zoom on Phakerem’s face as she sees them head directly for her. Barely a flicker of reaction on her expression, she tells all Mandalorian ships to keep on the Republic offensive and orders that all available planetary fighters to focus their fire on the Jedi ship. She turns away from the view with one remark. “No more legends today.”

In a medical lab, Anakin lies strapped to a table while a pair of slightly nervous Coalition doctors prepare for the cloning process, while the clone soldiers guard the lab door. One of them says they need to draw the blood sample, however the other responds inducing brain death has to take precedent to mitigate the Jedi’s risk factor. Skywalker’s eyes betray his growing panic, only for him to spot a small energy scalpel in the corner. Once again he tries to reach out with the Force.

As the alert constantly pounds in the background, Carima and the squadron find themselves pinned down in a firefight not too far away. A dozen coalition soldiers blast at them behind a force field which quickly turns back on when they attempt to return fire. She shouts that they have to get past them, and the others tell her with the forcefield, there’s nothing they can do. The lieutenant starts to say they may have to retreat, and Nivir screams a passionate “No! We have to save him, somehow, some way we have to get-” She’s cut off by the room going dark.

Very quick montage follows of Obi-Wan’s group, Phakerem, Bail Organa, and Crayde all reacting to the same significant sight: lights going out all over Coruscant.

The source is the power center which Fordala watches with a tired smile as timed detonator after detonator destroys the facility, complete with other resistance members adding their own fire with propelled missile launches. Not content with just observing, he throws his own explosive into the middle of the fray, doing even more damage. Satisfied, he looks up views Republic soldiers in rocket packs making their way into the top of the already shaking structure.

At the top the other half of Anakin’s original platoon plays their part, quickly eliminating the small group of guards stationed and within a few seconds decimate the back up power supplies left there. With the the whole building beginning to fall apart they quickly escape the way they came and from a long shot, explosions start going off all over.

Above Coruscant, the faintest smile emerges on Bail Organa’s face and to himself mutters “Well done, Major Skywalker.” He orders ships to start landing on the surface as soon as holes in the Coalition’s fleet appear.

In the skyscraper corridor, the emergency lights come on, yet the forcefields after a few sputtering attempts, quickly power down. Seeing this, Carima briefly closes her eyes in gratitude and soon enough the squadron starts firing. The panicked Coalition soldiers are forced to retreat.

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Sorry for not having commented on your previous update, it was too short and there was not much to say.
Very good update, finally, the invasion has begun and the energy has already been cut, now it is see how they rescue Anakin.
By the way can you answer me a question that I have for some time:
How are Skywalker and Kenobi physically? I have some doubts about their appearance, for example their hair styles. I already know that in this episode, Anakin takes shorter hair than in the previous episode, but in the previous episode the only thing I know is that he has the dark hair and that he’s tall, I don’t know if his hair style was similar to Luke’s in Episode IV and in Ep.II he has a similar hair style to that of the first seasons of the Clone Wars Series(2008)?
And as for Obi-Wan, I don’t know if he’s wearing the hair style of the original Episode II and then in Episode III he will take the hair style of the original Episode III or he has that hair style of the original Episode III, for all your prequels?
Thanks and I look forward to see the next part.

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I liked the added scene between HX-81 and Darelda, I wonder who will be the person who can help her to unite the Senate, Bail or Palpatine. Ben and others have reached the planetary battle and they plan to engage Phakerem’s ship, meanwhile Carima is approaching to rescue Anakin.
Good job, and I look forward to the next part.

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An interesting update. The long-awaited invasion has begun, the Jedi begin to arrive to help in the battle, Ben and Nellith know they must attack Phakerem’s ship, so that the forces can land on Coruscant, and Nivir, Fordala and others have managed to disable the power, now they have to rescue Anakin.
And why this update on the next two days? This update cannot be with the next one? Or do you plan to do this update and another the next Sunday? What reason is there (if not too much to ask, without much spoilers 😉)?
Thanks and I look forward to the following parts. Good Job.

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Kadeos, I’m hoping to do another update Monday or Tuesday (detailing the rescue of Anakin, the showdown between the Jedi ship vs Phakerem’s, and the change in the Battle for Coruscant) as my work next weekend will likely be hampered by Easter Sunday activities.

DLoomys said:
By the way can you answer me a question that I have for some time:
How are Skywalker and Kenobi physically? I have some doubts about their appearance, for example their hair styles. I already know that in this episode, Anakin takes shorter hair than in the previous episode, but in the previous episode the only thing I know is that he has the dark hair and that he’s tall, I don’t know if his hair style was similar to Luke’s in Episode IV and in Ep.II he has a similar hair style to that of the first seasons of the Clone Wars Series(2008)?
And as for Obi-Wan, I don’t know if he’s wearing the hair style of the original Episode II and then in Episode III he will take the hair style of the original Episode III or he has that hair style of the original Episode III, for all your prequels?
Thanks and I look forward to see the next part.

Kenobi has a ponytail and stubble in Episode I with Anakin having roughly the hair length of Luke in ROTJ. Both men have close shaved hair in Episode II (not a buzzcut, but quite short), in reflection of the war tolls, and Ben is already growing a goatee. Come episode III Obi-Wan looks not too dissimilar to Ewan McGregor in ROTS, and Anakin has his hair longer again, about equivalent to Luke in ESB.

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Good work, CWBorne, a great update. You have left me wanting more 😉. The conversation between Obi-Wan and Nellith It is very interesting (it works better this way). And now almost all are already reunited in the planetary fight, the power center has been destroyed, the whole plan is going well.
I look forward to the next update!

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I loved it! They are starting with the cloning of Anakin, and it seems that Kenobi and Phakerem are about to face each other again.
Meanwhile the resistance along with Anakin’s squad have been disabled the planetary defenses and Fordala and Carima continue to make their way to rescue Anakin.
I am very eager to see the next one.

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Good Job! A great start to the invasion. Now that the energy of the planetary defenses have been destroyed, we’ll see what happens, and what will happen to the poor Anakin.
I look forward to the next update.

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As I said, this is a more minor update in comparison to the one from the weekend, but the character stuff felt worth posting given the action heavy portions recently. I don’t know exactly when or what size the next update will be, however it will be relatively soon and will transition the focus of the invasion from above Coruscant to directly on it. As always, thanks for the encouragement and feedback.

Phakerem watches the power outages on Coruscant aghast and begins to dictate that all of her ships are to prevent any Republic vessels from landing, however she’s cut off by a report that Jedi cruisers are beginning to appear out of hyperspace. Silent and shaking with frustration, through gritted teeth the general orders half of the Mandalorian fleet to halt the invasion and the other to engage the newly arrived cruisers. She’s asked about the lone Jedi ship still heading for them. Composure somewhat regained she replies, “If they get close, we give them everything.”

On that lone Jedi ship, Darelda says she can’t believe they (Anakin and company) pulled it off. Kenobi says there’s something to be said about having an amazing apprentice. HX pips up and suggests they save their compliments for when Anakin’s there and when they’re not currently at risk at being utterly annihilated. Nellith agrees and states the lead enemy ship is still the biggest threat to the landing fleet even if the Mandalorians attentions are divided. Ben asks what she recommends and gets an instant answer. “Let’s divide them further.”

In the lab, Anakin almost has the energy scalpel close to him, with neither doctor noticing. One of the two looks around the room anxiously, still panicking about the power outage, even though the emergency lights are on. Slightly eying the nearby entrance, the other tells him to calm down and that they’ll have to put Skywalker in stasis and do the procedure later. The first vigorously refuses and yells that he’s not taking the risk and they’re better off just finishing the Jedi off and getting out of there.

Outraged at the suggestion, the second tells him that both Phakerem and Crayde will destroy him even if he does, but the nervous one says he doesn’t care. A shouting match starts to ensue, but is interrupted when both hear fire from outside the room. The clone troopers at the door quickly move to see what’s going on, leaving the formerly arguing pair to draw sidearms and turn their backs on Anakin as the blaster sounds get closer.

Such a distraction proves to be well timed as Nik finally gets the energy scalpel activated with the Force and cuts through his restraint and in a few seconds is free from the table. Before the closer one can react, Skywalker jams the tool into the former’s shoulder and as he cries out in pain, grabs the man’s blaster. Anakin manages two quick shots which is all he needs as both doctors are soon down. He starts hearing someone coming in and, preparing for the worst, readies the weapon. In walks none other than a very wired and determined Carima who is ready to shoot until she sees the person in front of her.

The two stare at each other in silent and shocked disbelief for a few seconds before both put their weapons down. Nivir’s face turns a sore frown as she points an accusatory finger at him and says that “Your little distraction stunt on the building was thoughtless, dangerous, and proof positive you’ve lost your mind”. Anakin’s eyes go wide and he replies with indignation that “You risking everything to come here for a what I presume is a rescue was not only against what I said but also the most self-destructively stupid thing you possibly could have done.”

There’s a slight beat with the two still looking at one another before the they can’t help but start smiling. Nik closes the distance first, and “God, I love you” passes from his lips before holding her in a passionate kiss. The loving embrace last a few seconds before they separate; foreheads still touching and a few joyful tears coming from both. Carima breaks the silence. “Right back at ya, flyboy.”

A few moments later the two walk out into the hallway, the rest of Skywalker’s platoon elated to see him alive and well. After being handed a spare blaster he gives them thanks for the rescue and says he’s pretty sure he can overlook them disobeying a direct order this time. “Fingers crossed that the higher ups are as forgiving as I am.” The lieutenant confirms after Anakin asks that Fordala indeed knocked out the power center and they overheard Coalition soldiers saying the planet’s being invaded.

Carima utters that Republic plans appear to be on schedule and Nik replies if that’s the case then Organa’s probably landing the fleet as they speak. He adds that they have to get out of here and one of the platoon tells him that the lower floors are likely crawling with staff and soldiers by now. At that Skywalker says the roof might be their best chance, especially since they’ve spotted small ships land there before. As he leads them to the elevator he mentions they might have to blow a hole to get there, but should be fine provided they haven’t burned through all their thermal detonators.

He doesn’t notice the platoon shooting a look toward Carima who sheepishly speaks up right before they turn a corner, “Well, yeah, about that actually…”

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An interesting update. They have finally rescued Anakin and the invasion continues.
Thanks and I look forward to the following parts. Good Job.

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I liked, more ships arrived to the invasion and Carima has rescued Anakin, we’ll see what happens next. And by the way, it’s Crayde not Krayde 😉
Good job, and I look forward to the next part.