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CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits) — Page 2


Thanks for the feedback! 

To answer your questions, Kenobi is about 35, and Anakin/Carima are in their mid 20s. Episode I takes place 28 years prior to ANH, II is 4 years after that, and III about 4 years after that. Making Kenobi about 60 come A New Hope, and the unmasked Anakin about 55 when he's unmasked in Return of the Jedi.

Carima and Anakin are indeed a couple, in the course of the film they get serious about their relationship and decide to get married at the end of Episode II.  


Hi, after many days of not visiting the forum, I find this great gift.
Great work as always CWBorne. It's a great idea that Coruscant has been conquered by the Coalition and now the Republic operates from a remote station.
The characters have also developed pretty well, Anakin and Carima are already a couple, Obi-Wan and Anakin act like best friends and we finally meet Palpatine, which is already beginning to manipulate Skywalker. I've also liked the title of President instead of Supreme Chancellor, on
earlier drafts was President Palpatine not Supreme Chancellor Palpatine.

Just a little question, will you show Yoda in this episode?


Thank you kindly for the feedback Dloomys, it means a lot. 

As for Yoda, no he won't appear here and most likely won't in episode III either. Two reasons:

One, given that the Vader Father and twins surprise will be spoiled, I wanted at least one thing to be kept secret. 

Two, honestly I never could justify a reason to put him in. Yoda's entire connection prior to ESB is that he trained Kenobi and had some connection to the Force that gave him knowledge of Emperor and Anakin. No mention of being a fighter, no indication he was leading armies, or that he was in the war. The more I figured out the story for these Episodes, the less and less he appeared to the point where I asked why he needed to be there. 

Eventually I concluded that he worked better as a mentioned character, a legendary figure who's shadow hangs over various people, never seen, but a driving point for character motivation. Nellith, mentioned in act as the defacto Jedi leader in the nebula, is revealed to be the only other student of Yoda's still active and in many ways she stands in for some of what he represents. 

The conflict between Obi-Wan and her in act 2/3 will in many ways be one to determine the future of the Jedi are to be in this war; active guardians of peace and justice on the front lines vs. the more passive keepers of knowledge who restore and construct for their allies rather than destroy outright enemies.

Do the Jedi healers, engineers, philosophers, farmers, etc who have been allowed to become more than just simple warriors in the past millennia pick up their lightsabers again and become Knights with all the risks that entails, or do they risk the Republic falling by staying as they are? Kenobi and Nellith, two pupils of one Master, both right, both wrong, with the future of the Jedi at stake. 


I think it will work, since neither the Emperor or Darth Vader mentioned Yoda in the OT.  Only the Emperor mentions him in the novelization of Return of the Jedi:

So tell me, young Skywalker, who continued your training?
The Emperor fiddled with her ??fingers on the chair arm, remembering.
-There was someone called... Yoda. An old Jedi Master... Ah! I see by your looks that I pressed a rope, a resonant chord in effect. Then it was Yoda -said the Emperor.


Been taking too long on this, and while I wanted to waited till all of act II was finished, I figured some actual new stuff was due. 

In the nebula the Mandalorians chase Kenobi and company, with Organa asking if intends to keep up this up, only for the Jedi to reply he won't have to, as another ship comes to their aid, doing some damage to Coalition ships and allowing Ben's ship to get out of their sight. The pilot, in an oddly flat tone, identifies himself as Dorgon. Obi-Wan makes a slightly confused face hearing the man speak, but follows him in. 

Phakerem remains silent on her own ship, staring ahead, breathing heavily. She orders orders their ships into the nebula to find the Jedi, even if they have to check every sector inside. 

Carima's ship enters Coruscant space and makes it through the various security checks, but right when landing (during night), the overzealous planetary security causes a soldier to activate the power pack his weapon (in spite of Anakin's orders to keep deactivated until off the ship). With that detected by security scanners, the ship is about to boarded until Nivir and Skywalker improvise a plan, with her setting the ship to hyperdrive into the atmosphere while jettisoning the spice cargo onto the planet. 

The ship is destroyed by planetary defenses before it can hit light speed and the cargo is quickly inspected by surface security to reveal only lim spice and debris with no survivors. Camera pulls out to reveal Anakin and the others hiding, having jumped out of the cargo holder before it hit the ground. Skywalker quietly, but intensely berates the soldier for his mistake and states the officer can demonstrate he's not expendable by showing his worth on the rest of the mission. Skywalker slowly and stealthily moves the group away, saying finding the resistance must be done even faster now. 

Kenobi follows their fellow ship to the large Jedi fleet, where ships of various types and sizes await. They dock with the largest vessel and are immediately greeted by Dorgon. He greets them nicely enough but Obi-Wan gives him a strange look, something bothering him about the young man. Ben mentions they're here as liaisons for Palpatine and Organa, and asks to see Nellith. The pilot replies that the Jedi Elder is meditating at present but offers to show them to their quarters. 

In those quarters, Darelda finally inquires about Nellith. With some wistfulness in his eyes, he explains that she is one of the oldest living Jedi still active, and centuries ago was one its greatest Knights, Ben adds that reading about her instrumental role in defeating a group of fallen Jedi centuries ago was one of his favorite memories in his training as an apprentice. “There's history about great Jedi going back 10,000 years, and she even then she still stood out.”

While the Jedi is lost in his admiration, HX-81 points out Ben's descriptions are all in the past tense. Kenobi describes that after her victory over the fallen, she gave up her role as a Knight, withdrawing to semi-reclusion and becoming a Jedi master and philosopher. Organa is a bit confused, pointing out that's hardly an ill fate, and agrees, though he notes in an uncomfortable tone that some feel that the past few centuries the Republic could have used someone as good as she was. “We  may have lost one hell of a protector, but I have no doubt the galaxy gained a great elder.” 

81 inquires about how Korusya's going to respond to the Republic's plan, and he confesses he's not even sure the full extent of what  role Nellith has served in the galactic conflict thus far. “There's a warrior and a great thinker; I don't just know which one's on this ship right now.”

On Coruscant, various squads of clone troops march in the city, as Anakin and company observe from the empty basement window of a newly constructed building. Carima points out their current luck. “Something to be said about the Coalition, they're quick to rebuild, but not too quick.” One of the soldiers informs the platoon that no alarm or search party has been summoned, so the authorities must still believe they're dead. 

Skywalker is quick to respond that's irrelevant given that there's almost certainly a security recognition measure on the planet, one that they lack. “Anyone without the proper ID, internal or otherwise on this planet is as good as captured, and dead once an interrogation’s finished.” The same soldier as before brings up their limited intel and inquires how they're supposed to even find the resistance, let alone inform them of the sabotage plan. 

At that Carima provides an answer. On a nearby crate, she puts out a holographic map of their location. She lays out that between their scanners and search parties, the Coalition's scoured the surface of the planet, and that even if the resistance avoided being initially found it couldn't afford to stay above ground given the scale of the surveillance. Anakin makes the obvious point; “So they're underground then, but where?”

Another soldier brings up the sewers surely have been checked by now. Nivir nods, but replies only the newer tunnels have. “There's tons of unused and redundant ones underground; some of them were caved in the last time the planet got attacked a few millennia ago, but there just too many for them to look for, even with the time they've had.” Skywalker's authoritarian face gives just the hint of an amused grin. “Let it never be said your Coruscant vacation obsession isn't without its informational benefits.” Carima smiles to herself at that. 

A member of the platoon asks if the Coalition can't find them down there, how exactly will they? Anakin switches off the hologram and and gives a reply.”Some faith Lt. Commander, we'll find a way when we get there” Skywalker quickly surveys the scene outside the window and a prominent building in the distance get his attention, and Carima notices his anxious frown as he stares at it. She asks if everything's alright. “Yeah, just sensed something off. Let's go the sewer awaits.”

On Coruscant Crayde sits in his office as a member of the underground resistance is dragged in and restrained in a chair, where the Chancellor promises him his life if gives up the Republic soldiers most recent location. When the prisoner resists Draezin electrocutes him, until he finally gives in. When the location is given up, Crayde orders his execution anyway, displeased that the prisoner made him work for getting the information. A Mandalorian force is dispatched to go after the resistance.

Back in the nebula, on her vessel Phakerem stares out a window in her office. A subordinate of hers inquires about her orders. She coldly tells him to increase ship speed and keep every available officer nearby the moment they spot the Jedi. He asks what if they've left the nebula, and she turns around and explains that they're still here, and they won't waste their best chance to bring the Jedi down for anything. 

Sitting in meditation is Kenobi, who looks up to speak to the just arrived Darelda. Obi-Wan asks how her meeting with Nellith went and Organa replies that while she didn't raise any objections, it was hard to get a read on what she really thought of the battle plan. Ben explains that its a common thing with older Jedi. “It seems the more they understand the galaxy, the less willing they are to give away that wisdom too freely.” 

She notices something's bothering him. With a frown he details that there's something on this ship that feels wrong and that he can't quite sense what it is, but its unnatural, like a star in the sky that doesn't belong. He admits its not the dark side, or anything overtly dangerous, but that he can't shake off the feeling it doesn't belong here. 

Organa tells him she's learned to trust his instincts and there's no one she would expect to stop a crisis in advance more than a ship full of Jedi. “I wish I could say the same for things back home.” He inquires about that and she tells him of her growing frustrations in the Senate, as she hoped the war would unite everyone, but everything's just gotten pettier and more partisan and she's noticed the growing disenchantment with citizens she's talked to. 

“People didn't trust the institution, but at least they trusted their Senator. I'm not even sure they can do that anymore.” An aid comes into the room and tells Kenobi that Nellith will seem him now. He gives Organa a look and is lead to her chambers. 

In a room adorned with various pieces of art from different worlds facing away from him is Korusya Nellith. A tall Chiss Jedi, dressed in in an aquamarine robe with various simple patterns, her head is slightly bowed forward. “I hope I haven't made you wait too long, Sir Kenobi.” With a polite smile, Obi-Wan replies that a Jedi learns patience. A small murmur comes from Nellith and she replies with a tired voice that learning it is easy. She turns around. “Keeping to it, that's the hard part.” 

There's a wide shot of the two facing each other, with the contrast in both height and body language is very apparent. Kenobi is half formal, half casual, doing what he can to look respectful but relaxed in a room with a living legend. She's stiffer, looking formal from the neck down, but her face looks distant, with her eyes suggesting a much heavier burden than her posture would suggests. A small lightsaber hilt hangs from her necklace. 

Ben, initially uncertain what to do with his hands, puts them behind his back formally and states its a great honor to meet such great Knight such as herself. Nellith can can only raise an eyebrow, her expression otherwise neutral. He's slightly surprised by her lack of response and tries again mentioning how the stories of her warrior days are legendary to all sorts of Jedi. She looks away briefly “I suppose that's the difference between story and reality, then.” He breaks the silence with a comment mentioning the various Jedi here have kept up well given the circumstances. 

She shrugs, stating they've taken young sprouts, thrown them into the fire, asked them to survive, and still they figure out ways to do it. “So far, anyway.” Ben asks about the battle plans she was shown earlier. She says its risky strategically, dangerous to its participants, and easily capable of failing. After a pause she does confess (with clear reluctance) that given the war's going its also the best option the Republic has. Kenobi allows himself a wide smile with nod at that and points out the Jedi here need to be organized  for ship combat if Coalition ships catch up with them. 

Korusya bluntly mentions they've already had some previous close calls with the Mandalorians, yet the latter still hasn't been able to compensate for being outmatched in speed or the fact that they're flying blind. She adds that when the enemy gets sick of the chase they can strike, but until then they can keep them tied down with just evasion alone. Obi-Wan agrees, but is a bit taken aback at her brusque tone and says the more experience the Jedi can get against the Coalition's ships the better prepared they'll be for the next large scale battle. 

At that she gets in close and her cool eyes betray a touch of sadness before she regains control and questions his statement about the next battle. Increasingly put off by the changing tone in the conversation, Ben tells her that even if the plan succeeds, there's too many holes in the front line the Republic needs to fill and there should be a way to move enough Jedi forward  without weakening their support elsewhere. Her face is coldly blank and she looks him directly in the eye. “Forward to the front lines, then?”

He briefly breaks his gaze but soon responds that he'd prefer to avoid that, but circumstances may demand it if the Coaltion penetrates their lines too far. Korusya stares at him a few moments, steps a few paces away before sighing and looking at him again. Nellith's own emotions  start to come out and she asks if he's really looked at the people on these ships. The younger Jedi doesn't understand the question and she clarifies. 

“You and I remember learning battling remotes and piloting fighters are part of our training. Do you know they remember? Healing wounds, strengthening crops, building bridges. There are good Jedi here; the Force has been their ally in helping those all throughout the galaxy, and they know its their highest duty to serve the Republic. But they're not Knights and you want them to become warriors.”

Its now Kenobi's turn to get a bit stone faced, informing her he's not asking them to be and that he understands that generations have changed them as they've spread far and wide. He says that he respects that Jedi are many things now and he knows they're proud they've never had to pick up a lightsaber, but that can't win the war. 

Nellith is skeptical of this and asks if he thinks their master feels that way? “He's in the far reaches of the Outer Rim because those with the Force without guidance need the most precious thing he could give them, the thing he gave me first and gave you last. Knowledge, sir Kenobi. What these people have gained and what he believes in more than anything.”    

With his previous nervousness and awe at being around Korusya now gone, Obi-Wan candidly tells her that Yoda believes in that, but also believes that it's a Jedi's role to defend. “To defend themselves, their fellow Jedi, and the Republic as a whole.” Imploring her to understand he says a lot of people need guardians now more than ever and if they don't come together and hold back the Mandalorians like they once did, there may not be a Republic to serve. 

Before she can respond, the ship is hit from the side, causing both of them to almost lose their balance. The two instantly know what happened, and on her communicator she asks how the Mandalorians found them. After a hurried pause the voice responds that its because their ship is sending out a signal. The two Jedi look at each other and rush for the bridge. On Phakerem's ship she's informed of the news and orders her forces to target their engines with the time they have. “Clipped wings will have to do for now.”

To be continued...


I liked a lot. It's very interesting the two views of Kenobi and Nellith about the Jedi, I never would have thought that Nellith would be a Chiss, it is a strange species to be a Jedi, but it works anyway. And Anakin approaches to his trauma of seeing many of his comrades dead.

Just a couple of questions:

- But this is the half of Act 2 or a part

- And if you plan to introduce Tarkin on your prequels? Maybe in Ep.II or will be in Ep.III?


Hi, I just finished reading it, and I must say that I liked. Kenobi is trying to get that the Jedi return to the front line in the war, but Nellith refuses, I wonder why she will accept at the end. And Anakin goes to the same place as the Mandalorians, he will suffer the loss of his comrades.

I look forward to see the next part.


Good work, I found this part very interesting. Ben is trying to accomplish the wish of his apprentice and bring the Jedi in command of the army of the Republic. And Anakin and a patrol of clones go to the same place, it will be interesting to see how Anakin and Carima will leave Coruscant.
I look forward to see the next update.


[Couple of updates. My last entry has been edited to reflect a change in Nellith's character and the tone of her scene with Kenobi.

To answer your question JHodges, I'll definitely reference Tarkin in Episode III as one of the rising stars of sorts in the Republic military. Whether or not he'll appear will depend on if it services the story without feeling too contrived. 

For now however, enjoy the next portion of A Galaxy's Fury.]

In a dimly lit Coruscant sewer, the company one by one drops into a large and very wet drain. Skywalker states that best he could tell given the type of surveillance, no one saw them. “Forget the despotism its their lack of sanitation care which is really damning about these people.” Carima adds with Anakin telling her to keep her voice down. He orders them to get some distance from the entrance ASAP, emphasizing quick, but careful. 

As they stealthily move through the sewers, Nivir in a whisper asks Nik what they'll do if the Mandalorians have already gotten to those underground. Anakin tries to downplay that possibility, saying any group that's survived this long has to be resourceful. She sighs and tells him that if they make it out of this, the two of them are taking a well earned vacation. As it'd be nice to have galactic trip not hampered by the prospect of certain death for once.

Anakin gives her a look and says he's assuming that her finding a safe place to hide while him and the company execute the mission is out of the question. Carima replies that she'd never leave him at such a crucial point. She gives him a restrained smile, “Besides, if you're gone, who else is gonna tell your bosses to reimburse me for a lost ship?” He gives her an affectionate nod and says they'll just have to find the resistance hide out before anything else provided they don't attract any attention-

He's interuppted when a nearby hatch on their side opens to reveal a surprised clone squadron. Skywalker yells “Positions!” and the company immediately makes a formation and fires on the enemy. Most are taken out instantly, but one manages a shot off hits a Republic soldier, wounding him. Carima hits that shooter with her own blaster, leaving the clone dead, with none left standing. Surveying the situation, Nik asks if anyone else was hit and upon hearing a negative, assists the injured soldier. 

Another soldier asks what the enemy was doing down here, but before anyone can respond, an alarmed voice is heard coming from one of the bodies. Carima picks up the comlink device currently and loudly telling the now dead commander to respond and report what they've found. Still helping the wounded man, Skywalker tells everyone this must have been a scout group, though he can't tell if its a regular search party or not. The voice still yelling through the transmitter, Anakin smashes the device.  

An officer asks if the Mandalorians have new information, and Nik replies that even if they don't, those on the other side of the comm link will be down here soon enough and they have to get out of here quickly. With various members of the company helping the wounded man move Skywalker orders the group to follow him. The same officer asks how they're supposed to find the resistance in this place. Eyes forward he gives them an answer. “Leave that to me.” 

As quickly as they can with the injured soldier, the group moves through the sewers; the young Jedi leading the way, with him looking back towards Carima to confirm with her that they're heading towards the redundant generator according to the old maps. She confusedly tells him yes and ask why go there? Anakin replies that he's got a hunch. “Sensing something in the force?” She asks. For the first time on Coruscant, Skywalker's confidence is slightly betrayed and he responds. “I hope so.”

While moving, they begin to hear the echos of enemy troops in the far distance behind them. The injured soldier tells Nik that he's impeding the whole company with his wound, that for the sake of the others, they have leave him behind and he might be able to slow any following Mandalorians down. Before he can finish Anakin cuts him off. “Lieutenant I order you to shut up and keep moving; we're all gonna get there.” 

Soon enough the company find themselves on the edge of a sudden drop off, with the waterflow falling down into large water filled basin going directly to an old but active hydro-electric generator at its end. Skywalker eyes in the machine carefully and intensely, seemingly looking past it somehow before eventually nodding his head in understanding. He turns back and tells them to get ready to jump in. One of the officers looks at him with wide eyes, pointing out that the turbines will cut them to pieces. 

Already readying himself to jump, Nik replies that he knows its safe they'll have to trust him. When the officer replies how he knows this its Carima who responds. “Sir, take it from me, don't underestimate the Force.” Still a bit disbelieving, but hearing the sound of approaching enemy soldiers coming, the officer obeys Anakin's and after assisting the injured man, the entire group jumps into the basin. As the water immediately carrying them towards the generator Skywalker determinedly tells them to hold their breath as the group is sucked in. 

On the bridge of her ship Phakerem stares intently at the sensor readings, eyes focused and waiting. She asks if there's been any change in readings and is told there's been nothing since they stopped the signal. One of her captains, after some reticence, slowly gets up from his station and approaches her. In a quiet voice he asks permission to speak freely, which she grants, curious at what has to say. He mentions to her that with the visual damage earlier seen on the engines of Jedi vessels its unlikely they could either get back to their station or escape the nebula without being noticed. 

In the most respectful tone he can manage he explains that with the enemy trapped and no way to get out, and he recommends pulling the bulk of their forces to other parts of the front line or bulk up their defenses elsewhere. “Your efforts have succeeded; the Jedi threat has been neutralized.”

After a few tense moments with the general looking displeased at his comments, she rises from her chair and surprisingly enough, gives a knowing smile and begins to speak. Filled with confidence she details how the greatest threat of the Jedi isn't out there, pointing to the viewscreen, its in the territories the Coalition has yet to control. “In the pilot agreeing to every mission despite the risk, in the politician still refusing to negotiate with us, in every Republic citizen not doing everything they can to defect.”

The explanation turning into a speech of sorts, she justifies their continued presence here as the key to not just winning the war but ensuring those conquered will have no spirit for insurrection after the Republic is defeated. “Defeat a man and the peace is temporary; destroy a legend and the peace is eternal.” She finishes saying that they cannot afford to let up when next phase is almost there, with the ultimate weapon against the Jedi nearly ready to be deployed, and that they need only keep them silent and scared; time will do the rest. 

On the lead Jedi cruiser 81 and Darelda briskly walk through the halls of the ship. She asks how badly damaged the engines were and he replies that had they likely been hit again, they'd likely be adrift in space at this moment. For now they're safe provided the Mandalorians don't spot them again. She sighs “I don't know who's got it worse, me not knowing the exact odds of that or you knowing down the number.” The security droid replies that dubious distinction quite certainly belongs to him. 

They arrive in Nellith's quarters where they find her and Kenobi waiting. The former is considerably troubled and isn't looking at them. Ben tells them both that they've figured out that the signal was not remotely induced, someone inside the ship set it off. HX says he's at a loss as to how such a person could even get onto a ship of Jedi, let alone pull this off without being spotted. Ben replies that's what they're trying to figure out. 

Darelda ask if its possible there's a Dark Jedi who could have done this and Nellith and Obi-Wan immediately answer no, before the former clarifies that “I haven't felt... that kind of willful use of the dark side in a very long time.” Kenobi does however mention that there's something earlier that felt wrong, something not natural to this place. These words  get a reaction out of Korusya who says she perceived something like that herself but couldn't quite grasp what exactly it was. 

Obi-Wan openly wonders if there are any droids on the ship who could have been reprogrammed. HX-81 answers that besides himself there are only two other droids on the ship, a protocol model and an R2 unit, both working in maintenance. He does the robotic equivalent of a grimace as he recalls, “And having spent just a few minutes with them, I don't believe the Mandalorians would trust them in waste extraction let alone sabotage.”

81 inquires about their strategy given they don't know what they're dealing with with Organa saying that if there's a traitor on board was willing to blow themselves up via revealing their location to the Coalition, then something tells her they'll have no qualms about trying again. Darelda agrees and says that they have to find the saboteur quickly before they strike once more and without tipping the individual off.  Ben states ideally they can capture them for information and not have to destroy them.

Nellith's burdened eyes tell the story as she ever so briefly feels the lightsaber hanging at her neck. For the first time since arriving on the cruiser, Obi-Wan looks just a bit afraid. 

On Couruscant, sitting in a luxurious chair in his home, Crayde is indulging himself with a drink from a fine glass when he's signaled by his communicator. Annoyed, he tells the receiver that he already got their most recent scouting report and he doesn't need redundant information. The voice tells him that their scouts were attacked in the sewers, and he rolls his eyes, saying they can fill him on details of a resistance attack later. Upon being told there's signs a lightsaber was involved he's briefly struck dumb before putting his drink down and eyes suddenly serious, says he's on his way. 

Back in the sewers the heads of Anakin, Carima and the troops emerge from a filthy and quick current. The group makes their way to a small hanging platform and climb out, immediately trying to wring the wetness out of their clothes. One of the officers asks if the Mandalorians are coming and after a moment's silence to listen Skywalker says they've lost them for now. 

Another officer looks at Nik and asks if the Force told him the generator was safe. He almost smirks and tells him “Just to trust my instincts, thankfully that's been enough.” Before he can continue, out of the current a few feet ahead a large contingent of bedraggled soldiers surface, makeshift blasters pointed at Anakin and company. Surprised and outgunned and Skywalker can only look at Nivir resignedly and in deadpan continues “So far.” 

Cut to the dirty soldiers escorting their weaponless prisoners, with Carima and Nik at the front, through various tunnels. She starts to speak before he softly shakes his head no, not wanting to provoke their new keepers. Eventually they are led into a large underground shelter filled to the brim with various jury rigged portable generators, small explosives, containers of various sizes/shapes, rolled up beds, and small bits of furniture acting as tables. 

Walking towards them is a scarred, middle aged man with thinning hair and a cybernetic eyepiece, a large blaster rifle on his shoulder . He eyes his prisoners warily, giving particular attention to the stonefaced expression on Anakin's face. After a moment they hear his hoarse voice come out. “Well you're not the ugliest clones we've seen down here.” Skywalker and Nivir share a look before she responds. “We do try and make the effort.”

When asked what they're doing down there Anakin doesn't answer and inquires if he's Trukiz. This question gets a hand around the Jedi's throat as the scarred man gets particularly angry and demands how he knows that name. Not showing any fear Nik asks again if he's Trukiz, but Carima gets alarmed and says they're from the Republic and were sent to find them. This gets her a brief angry look from Skywalker, but this reveal does get the scarred man's attention. 

He asks Anakin who he is, but when he again refuses to respond, Nivir says he's a Jedi and that he's here to help them. One of the grimy soldiers pipes in and says they did confiscate what looks like a lightsaber from him. While still skeptical, he does release Skywaker's throat, and takes a step back. Briefly taking in this information, he tells them that Trukis died weeks ago and that he's Fordala, his second in command. 

At Carima's silent urging the Jedi reveals he's Command Anakin Skywalker and that he and his platoon were told to get into contact with the resistance here. Fordala still isn't entirely believing, but does signal his soldiers to put their blasters down. Anakin mentions they're here to relay orders from Fleet Admiral Organa and President Palpatine. 

There's a dead silence by the resistance soldiers in the room with Fordala specifically in disbelief about what he just heard.“Relay orders?” Nik nods and describes the timeframe of the upcoming offense against the Mandalorians on Coruscant and how the plan is dependent on the resistance sabotaging the enemy's defenses. Fordula's anger returns and he can't even stand to look at Anakin. 

“They abandon the planet, leave us down here for who knows how long, tell us to to provide intel while the Coalition are shooting every stranger they find, and now you're telling me they want us to undermine the most heavily guarded places on the surface before they can even bother rescuing us? Well you know at least they sent one Jedi, otherwise I would have thought the high commanders were completely indifferent fools.” 

Anakin does his best to excuse the situation, reiterating that forces are going to free them, but their best chances to do that are if they're not cut down by Coalition planetary weapons; simply put the Republic needs them now more than ever. Fordula gets back in close, hand gripping his rifle while he asks just how many times the Republic is going put a price on their liberation? Try as he might, Skywalker has no immediate answer. 

At this Carima intercedes, saying that have a wounded man who needs a doctor or some kind of medical help. While still noticeably angry, Fordala reluctantly orders one of his soldiers to assist the injured officer, who helps carry the man over to their medical supplies. Anakin tells him that even if they're not willing to help sabotage the defenses, he and his officers can't leave until they have a plan to scout where the Coruscant defense network is centralized.  

Slowly easing back into role of professional soldier, Fordala says it be suicide to try and go back out where they came in and given the time table for the Republic assault, he can't afford to try any of the longer complicated routes. He says their best chance would be a tunnel leading a destroyed building, one of the few caved in structures within the capital city the Coalition haven't cleared away yet. Nivir asks if the area's heavily patrolled and is told yes, but will be less protected in a few hours. 

Obviously hating having to utter this, Skywalker inquires if they can get some rest here. Fordala doesn't immediately answer, but then asks in response if any of his people are mechanics. Carima enthusiastically answers yes, eyes wide and excited. The resistance leader stares at her confused, while Anakin can only lightly smile to himself. Fordula shrugs and tells the two if she can fix up some of their generators, then they can probably spare a few beds and supplies. 

Nik gives Nivir the okay, and concealing her clear merriment she goes off to look at the units. One of the Jedi's officers walks up to him and says the resistance's help is their only chance of knocking out the defense network. Skywalker grimly shakes his head. “No, if we have to, we'll find another.” 


Very good work. From what I can observe your first update focuses more on Kenobi and the second focuses more on Skywalker. As for Kenobi's history, I like it a lot. He's trying to convince Nellith that more Jedi are needed in the field to win the war. And now they have a traitor aboard, and as someone who read most of your posts, I think I know who it is.
As for Skywalker's history, I liked too. He's trying to lead the mission as best he can, but for one circumstance or another, things become more complicated. We are getting closer to his trauma.
I look forward to see the next update.


I liked, good job. As CHRomer said, this part focuses more on Anakin's story, now he has found the resistance and Crayde goes to them. Ben and the others have found that they have a traitor among them, Now they must find it.
The next post will be very interesting.


Thanks for the reply, I think he should appear, as a henchman of Palpatine and helping him to destroy the Jedi or something like that, but I know you'll do what's best for the story. As for the last update, I must say that I found it very interesting. Ben and the others have found that there is a traitor and now they must find it. Anakin and Carima have finally found the resistance and Crayde has discovered that there is a Jedi on Coruscant.

I look forward to see the next one.


Hi, sorry for the late comment, I've been a little busy these days. It's very interesting this part, Skywalker has found the resistance, but they don't seem very reluctant to help them. And maybe Crayde will be responsible for Anakin's trauma, and Kenobi must find the traitor.

Good work, CWBorne.


**Can’t actually believe I’m being this productive. Would typically wait to have written more, but I genuinely like the character stuff in this one and am curious to see how it comes across. Will provide the action climax to act II in the next update. Also made a slight addition to the previous section; just a shout out of sorts to particular droid duo that pays off later. Thanks again you guys for your interest and especially your feedback. Without further ado, more of Episode II: **

Wipe to the shelter hours later as Anakin and Carima are laying down on a pair of makeshift beds right next to each other. The light inside is dim as various others are also getting rest, though a few people softly working can be seen in far parts of the room. The stress is taking its toll on Anakin’s face as he seems more worn out than ever. Nivir looks at him, slight worry in her eyes, and tells him that even Jedi have to sleep eventually.

With faux-reflection he replies “Maybe not, there might be some secret aspect of the Force I haven’t learned about that can let me avoid sleep who knows how long.” She replies in mock horror “A power that gives you the ability to stay awake and keep talking for days on end? Gotta be that dark side you told me about.” The two smile at each other and he grips her hand warmly. She gets serious and asks why he can’t sleep.

Nik rubs his hand over his face and tells her he knew things here would be bad and having seen Mandalorian occupation, he had an idea of how terrible life could get for people in this kind of situation.  However he just keeps thinking about the how exactly the decision process went when they decided to simply desert these people and what kind of calculations the high ranking leaders did to determine just how long the resistance fighting and dying on their own was acceptable.

She shrugs and says this kind of conflict makes people make tough decisions and they both know none of the top brass want to leave people behind. She adds that the latter wants to win the war as badly as he does. His eyes look away from her and he states that they want to win it their style; safe, remote, and with the risk on everybody but them. He briefly closes his eyes and laments that all he can offer the soldiers here is what kind of dangerous mission they’d prefer to have their lives threatened by.

Almost to himself more than her, Anakin says there’s gotta be a better way than this; some system that would at least never leave people in this kind of danger. Nivir asks if really wants to try and remake the government in the middle of a war. Skywalker’s face turns melancholy as he gives his answer. “I want to go home, hug Beru, have Owen slap me on the back, and say he’d be glad to have me visit anytime. Fixing the Republic just struck me as a little more realistic right now.”

Carima strokes his face gently and tells him not to do this to himself, reminding him that people need him in the here and now. She mentions there’s a platoon that’s gonna look to him to lead them tomorrow, look to the man who walked them into heart of enemy territory and kept them in one piece. She says they trust him completely with their lives, and she knows this because she trusts him with hers, and a few broken ships aside, he’s always come through.

Touched by that Nik gives her a warm kiss on the mouth. “You know, you were on to something  about a vacation. We get out of here, we’re going somewhere nice. Find the finest vacation suite this side of Alderaan, kick the newlyweds out, and just enjoy ourselves.” Carima raises an eyebrow and says flatly “If this is your idea of a proposal Skywalker, your timing and technique could use a little work.”

Its Anakin’s turn to stroke her cheek as he tells her that while he’s sorry he dragged her into another mess he is glad she’s here with him. Carima blushes slightly before saying that have to get some rest. She kisses him on the forehead before they both close their eyes and try to sleep.

<span style=“white-space: pre;”></span>At a long table with various screens sits Nellith, studying the displays carefully. Obi-Wan walks in and says he’s made no significant gains yet, in spite of talking to half the crew and trying to sense anything from them with Force. She responds that she’s gotten reports from the Senator and her droid, but neither have reported anything significant yet either. Kenobi asks to look at that their information to see if there’s something that stands out and she silently invites him to do so.

After sitting down, Obi-Wan looks briefly at her while the latter reads some of the reports. Without looking at him she says he still thinks she’s wrong about what to do with the Jedi. Kenobi’s expression doesn’t change, but he states he believes that her decision is misguided even if her concerns are understandable. Surprisingly enough, a bitter smile comes across her face and she finally meets his gaze. “You can’t even begin to understand my concerns. Not many Jedi can.”

Ben sits back in his chair, subtly noticing that she’s at last opening up. “So this isn’t just about sending unprepared farmers and engineers into battle is it?” She replies that its about threats, one’s even more dangerous than what they’re dealing with here. Obi-Wan states that he’s at a loss to think of things worse than a power like the Coalition. She shakes her head in mild disappointment opining how easily young Jedi forget their history especially its more unfortunate periods.  Kenobi asks what she means.

She stares at him more intently than ever. “Battles are phenomena are best studied and remembered my young friend. Especially ones with the fallen.” Ben blinks a few times, just beginning to grasp what she’s getting at. “Your victory over the Dark Jedi.” She tells him that triumph was one piece of an event who’s images have never gone away no matter how much she wanted them to. Noticing that the younger Knight isn’t letting himself ask the question, she nonetheless gives him the answer. “I turned, Sir Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan can’t even speak, but she continues. Her expression recalling painful memories she says it was for a time during the conflict, and that desperate to hold back their foes, she fell into the dark side. “I did things that no being should do, disgraced the Republic, and forsook everything I was so that the people I was certain were evil would be destroyed. And they were.”

Nellith gets briefly lost in her thoughts, lifting up and looking down on the lightsaber hanging from her neck. Ben eventually regains his composure, and a voice just above a whisper, says that she came back. While strained Korusya offers an actual warm smile and describes that her comrades somehow pulled her back, even when at the time her own mind was poisoning her against them. “They said it was the will of the Force, but sometimes I wonder if it was just luck.”

Sounding drained, she explains that while wars can bring out the best in Jedi, wars like those and ones like these drive the best of them to twisted places. “One bad rain falls and it can bring down everything.” If she goes along with Kenobi’s plan, some of their kind will become one with the Force, which she can in her heart accept. But some will go to someplace worse, and it won’t just be Jedi who feel the pain of that fall. “What will a Republic victory mean if its protectors have become worse than the enemy they just helped slew?”

Kenobi stands up, his hands almost shaking as he takes in this revelation. He defiantly brings up that he has seen their kind endure what the Clone Wars have dealt and come out stronger. Specifically he mentions that Anakin has been wounded deeply by the scope of this war and yet there’s no other man he’d  swear the commitment of more than him. Nellith remains sitting and flatly says “Not all Jedi are as impregnable as your apprentice.”

Ben implores her to have hope about their collective ability, going on about that the connection to one another, to the living Force, is one only strengthened when they work side by side with the good of the Republic in all their minds. “I believe in us, the people out there do, and I think you do as well. The Force is our guide, let us follow it where it leads us.”

<span style=“white-space: pre;”></span>Korusya’s has a mixed expression, clearly considering the man’s words. Before she can respond, 81 and Organa walk in, both a bit hurried. The droid tells them that they haven’t had any luck, and that they suspect their target might have changed their strategy in subverting the ship, but they do have a plan. Darelda lays out that some games of sabbac have taught her that when you can’t guess a bluff, you make them show their cards, suggesting they engage the Mandalorians, and give the traitor what they think is the ultimate opportunity to undermine them in battle, and catch them in the act.

While HX explains its a risky move, he declares its better for them to go into battle prepared than be caught surprised when the saboteur inevitably strikes again. Obi-Wan glances at the older Jedi, awaiting her answer. Nellith frowns, but asks if the deflector shield has been shored up with 81 replying it has. She’s silent for a moment again, before she walks onto the bridge with the others following her. Korusya tells the one at the communication station to send out a small signal to the lead Mandalorian ship.

The Jedi in question briefly hesitates at the order before obeying and preparing to send it out. Darelda sighs and says she hopes luck’s on there side. Nellith and Ben share a look before the former speaks. “Just the Force this time Senator. But as allies go, I’d have no other.”


Well that's normal, if you love what you do, you're productive. It has been interesting this part, Anakin is not happy with the nature of the Republic and we have discovered more about Nellith.
I look forward to see the next post.


I liked, Nellith fell to the dark side in a similar manner to that Anakin will fall to the dark side. And Skywalker is looking for a new system for the Republic. I liked that brief reference to C-3PO and R2. Good Work.
I look forward to see the next update.


Wow, that was fast! Good job, CWBorne, Anakin is starting to search for a new way of leading the Republic and Obi-Wan is starting to convince Nellith to bring the Jedi to the front line of the war.
I am very eager to see the next one.



 Obi-Wan can't even speak, but she continues. Her expression recalling painful memories she says it was for a time during the conflict, and that desperate to hold back their foes, she fell into the dark side. “I did things that no being should do, disgraced the Republic, and forsook everything I was so that the people I was certain were evil would be destroyed. And they were.”

  Love this CWBorne. Eagerly awaiting what's next.

Star Wars puzzles


Very minor edits to some previous entries, largely just giving a previously unnamed Jedi pilot a name, which will be a bit important as you'll see. But with that out of the way, act II of A Galaxy's Fury finally concludes. Enjoy and thanks as always for the feedback. 

On top of a ruined Coruscant building at dawn emerges the platoon and a token few of the resistance. Anakin helps pull Carima up the last of the way and the group as a whole lies low. With a pair of makeshift binoculars Skywalker examines a series of nearby buildings. He identifies a large sleek structure with various smaller towers and platforms as the base of the Coruscant defense network. Nivir points to the larger and bulkier connected building. “There's our power center.”

Nik moves his sight to a slightly smaller construction also connected to the power center, his face contorted in a confused frown. He asks Fordala what's inside that building, and the latter tells him its one of the few large scale areas in the capital city they haven't been able to get any reconnaissance on. “Lim spice and the occasional transport go in, beyond no clue what's inside or what it needs that much direct power for.”

The young Jedi stares and considers his options for a moment. He tells the others that while the power center's too secure to get inside, all they'd really have to do is cut the power off from the defense building close to the time of the invasion but before the Mandalorians could fix it. Fordala scoffs and points out that the network has to have power redundancies or at least some kind of backup. Anakin agrees and says they'd have to get inside the defense building to knock the back-ups out as well, and if its designed anything like the old Republic network, they're likely still near the top of the building.

The one eyed older man inquires exactly how Skywalker would do this and the latter brings up the makeshift jetpacks the resistance have put together, asking if they've been used in public before. Fordala pauses, clearly annoyed at where this is going, but tells him never been utilized since the Coalition took the planet. Nik nods and adds that means the enemy doesn't know we have them. The resistance leader gives him a look at the use of “we” but says nothing.

Carima asks what Anakin's proposing. He lays out the plan, detailing one team using the jetpacks to get access to the roof of the defense building and another hitting the maintenance section directly between the network structure and the power plant at the same time. The first team makes their way down, destroying the back-ups while the second team destroys all connections to the power grid they find, leaving the most vital parts of the defenses with either no power or no way of communicating with the central hub. Observes Carima: “Unarmed or blind, not exactly the ideal way to fight.”

Fordala angrily says the resistance is in no hurry to give up their resources for some suicidal mission. Skywalker turns to him, trying to contain his own ire, stating that if the Republic succeeds here, the resistance won't need them, and if the Coaltion wins, a couple of missing jetpacks will be the least of their problems. The resistance leader grabs Nik's arm eyes hard. “You see a lightsaber on me boy? I'm no Jedi jockey here to jump when you say so.”

Anakin forcefully removes the man's hand from his arm while the resistance and the platoon look at each other, seemingly ready to engage each other. However Carima notices something in the distance and calls their attention to it: a small, but sleek surveillance vessel coming their way. Fordala is taken aback, noting that patrols don't fly this way this time of day, and Skywalker adds something's changed their plans.

An anxious Nivir quickly explains if it gets close enough there's nowhere to hide and no way they can get off of the building quick enough before it spots them. The resistance leader adds that if anyone is seen here, they'll scour the area and find the sewer entrance soon enough. Nik swallows hard, knowing before the others what has to be one. “Then it needs to see something else then.”

He looks at Fordala and tells him to get everybody back to the sewer and relays to one of his officers to get the teams ready for the mission. Before either can respond he continues his orders telling clearly to get inside the building and cut the power, however they have to do it. Carima starts to looked worried and asks what he's doing. He gently lays a gloved hand on her cheek and tells her to give his regards to Beru and Owen. “And tell Ben I'm sorry. I love you.”

With that Anakin runs towards the edge and jumps off. Nivir screams “No!” and those still left on the roof see him fall several meters and just barely grab to a lone pole sticking out diagonally from a nearby construction site. He slides down quickly making a long trek down before ending with a rough landing on the around. He looks up at the group and yells go before pulling out his lightsaber and cutting through a large support beam on the construction site, causing it to collapse with a loud boom.

The scout ship immediately notices and starts heading towards Skywalker. Fordala realizes what the Jedi's doing and leads the others down to climb the other side of the building. Carima refuses, saying they're gonna kill Nik down there. The middle aged man offers her a sympathetic face, telling her that he's not sacrificing himself just for her to be seen and destroyed by the Mandalorians and that they have to go. She looks towards some support from Anakin's officers, but their faces tell the whole story, and after one last look to his direction, she starts climbing down.

The scout ship moves in on Skywalker, sending out a few token shots which he manages to avoid. Once its in close, it tries again, but Nik manages to deflect them this time, sending them back to the vessel, quickly causing damage. The smoking vehicle just barely misses hitting the Jedi, soon crashing into the construction site not to far from Anakin. He breathes a brief sigh of relief before yet another ship appears, this time a fighter.

Quickly surveying the area, he runs and jumps onto the base of a long and unmanned construction crane, once again barely dodging laser blasts as the fighter swoops around and takes its shots. Carefully biding his time, at just the right moment he cuts the crane with his lightsaber. It collapses down just as the fighter's passing and crushes it, tearing the aircraft apart once both hit the ground in an even louder sound than the support beam.

The platoon and the resistance manage to reach the bottom of the ruined building and run towards the sewer entrance. While racing across the rubble through various cracks in the structure Nivir sees Anakin in the distance, standing alone, looking around for what's coming next. What's next is a series of transport craft and given both size and number, even Skywalker knows what the odds are. With a grimace, he lowers his lightsaber, but stares defiantly foward as the lead ship lands.

As various clone officers and Mandalorian soldiers with blasters start pouring out the ships, a prominent figure emerges from the principal vessel. Walking up to Nik with both swagger and touch of genuine curiosity is none other than Draezin Crayde himself. Stopping just a few feet away he crosses his arms and looks the Jedi up and down before offering a most undeserved smirk. “Anakin Skywalker. Only you would be this bold.”

With the rest of the group already in the sewers Carima can only watch helplessly as the Jedi's lightsaber is taken away, he's placed in restraints, and soldiers surround him. Tears almost fall from her eyes before she angrily shakes it off and with determination joins the others underground.

With the lightsaber no longer a factor, Crayde gets in close, ignoring the disdain coming from the young man's eyes and casually asks what he's doing here. In the coldest tone he can muster, Anakin says they'll get no information out of him. Draezin's eyes turn darker, and in a low voice responds. “By this time this day's done, we'll get a great deal more than that.”

In the nebula the various Jedi ships are dodging and weaving the Mandalorian cruisers in a chaotic chase. The bridge of the lead cruiser is just as crazy with various crew on board talking over each other as they report on the various statuses of the ships. Darelda remains calm however, giving orders quickly and staying alert of the developments. Obi-Wan remains standing next to 81 and Organa taking in the events himself.

HX leans into Darelda and asks why the saboteur hasn't shown up yet. Kenobi overhears them and replies they just need a bit more time. The senator rubs her hand over her face. “I'm not sure we have it.” Nellith orders their pilot a quick turnaround and tells them to engage Phakerem's ship, and tells them to get her attention. The pilot complies and in the nebula it makes a hard 180 turn, firing at the side of the Mandalorian's craft.

On the general's ship the the crew on the bridge shake from the attack, but hold their ground as Phakerem asks how badly they were hit. She's told their engines were barely affected and still functioning. She's slightly bemused and points out it makes no sense for the Jedi to engage an attack, given their own superior shields and asks why they're still get a signal from them. One of her officers suggests they're getting desperate, but she's unconvinced and orders the fleet to regroup on her mark if they try something like that again.

Back on the cruiser Dorgon, the Jedi pilot who led Ben and company into the nebula initially, arrives on the bridge, seemingly to take over a station to the right of Korusya. Just as he's passing her, out of nowhere he quickly activates his lightsaber and almost cuts her at the neck, only to be blocked by Kenobi's own sword, who knocks the man down.A shocked Nellith immediately turns and gets to her feet, kicking away the downed man's lightsaber before he can even react.

The pilot is speedily on his feet again, and tries pulling his lightsaber with the Force, but Obi-Wan catches the hilt himself and aims now two sabers towards his direction. Even still Dorgon runs towards Nellith for another attack, only for be hit by a stun ray by Darelda which sends him down. His body nearly paralyzed with pain, he tries once more to get to his feet, but the senator fires again and this time he stays down.

Kenobi and company look down on stunned man, his face is a daze. 81 dryly remarks this isn't like any game of sabbac he's seen and Organa guesses this is their saboteur. Korusya briefly turns away to order another attack on Phakerem's ship before turning back to look at the suspect Nellith shakes her head saying it doesn't make any sense. Ben sees something that gets his attention and he kneels down to look in Dorgon's eyes, examining them as carefully as he can.

In quick cut Anakin is led through secured halls by a large contingent of guards, briefly looking to his right where behind a reinforced window there's a large form in a bacta tank. Skywalker only gets a brief glance at it, but clearly inside the transparent tube is the floating body of Dorgon.

On the bridge, Kenobi hurriedly stands, his expression horrified and says they have to get a message to the Republic as soon as possible. Nellith is about to ask what he's getting at when he's told by one of the crew that the Mandalorian ships are breaking off. She's once again stunned. “What?”

Finally sitting in her bridge chair again, Phakerem orders the fleet to regroup just outside the nebula, saying none of this situation makes strategic sense and the Jedi are playing at something. Her second in command asks about time being on their side and she replies that she no longer trusts time, but thankfully she doesn't have to say the same about their ultimate weapon.

The scene on the cruiser is one of confusion with various crew looking to Nellith for orders. Ben tells her they have to get of out here, both to keep the Coalition chasing them before the invasion and to send out an emergency message to Republic leaders. 81 asks what the message is and Ben gives his answer to all of them: “A high alert warning... the Mandalorians have cloned Jedi.”


Very interesting, I did not expect that the traitor was a Jedi, I thought it would be HX-81. And Kenobi and the others have found that the Coalition have cloned a Jedi. And Anakin has "sacrificed" himself for the resistance can enter into the base of the Coruscant defense network.

Good joob as always CWBorne. I look forward to see what happens in Act 3.


Great work, Skywalker, Nivir and the resistance have finally reached their target, but this is heavily guarded, and he does what he must do to gain entry into the base, causing a distraction to others can complete the mission. Meanwhile, Ben has discovered the traitor, which turns out to be a clone of a Jedi. I look forward to see the next update.

Could you please answer this little question:

As for Act 3, you have it completely figured out (specific scenes and everything else) or you only have a rough idea and you have to think about specific scenes and everything else?



CWBorne said:

HX leans into Darelda and asks why the saboteur hasn't shown up yet. Kenobi overhears them and replies they just need a bit more time. The senator rubs her hand over her face. “I'm not sure we have it.” Phakerem orders their pilot a quick turnaround and tells them to engage Phakerem's ship, and tells them to get her attention. The pilot complies and in the nebula it makes a hard 180 turn, firing at the side of the Mandalorian's craft.

I liked a lot, It is a great ending to Act 2. They have discovered that the Mandalorians have clones Jedi, and Anakin is in the hands of Crayde now. I am impatient to see Act 3.
By the way, I think you've made a mistake, lines underlined, says Phakerem ordered her pilot to attract their attention and the pilot shoots his own ship. It is a mistake or I have misunderstood?


Thank you for the correction Dloomys, I went back and fixed it. 

JHodges, the sequence of events is largely figured out, and the epilogue is more or less done in my head. Its the large battle/invasion scene which concludes act III that still needs the nuts and bolts worked out. 

CHRomer, I was originally going to have 81 as the turncoat way back when for a couple of reasons: to demonstrate the desperate nature of the war, hint at  Anakin's eventual well intentioned turn in Episode III, and shock viewers who had grown to trust the character. 

However as Episode II began to further formulate, I was beginning to feel that the Republic more or less resorting to a hail mary pass in the war plans, and some senators willing to negotiate with the Coalition sold how bad the war had gotten pretty well already. The development of Nellith's character, with her as well as Fordala (a bitter, disfigured man angry at the leaders/government he felt abandoned him) already acting as foreshadowing archetypes to Skywalker made me reluctant to create yet another one with HX.

Finally the clone reveal more or less works as the shocking twist (admittedly not as outright surprising as the droid in question betraying them) and Organa's story as currently planned in Episode III is made much easier if she can work and talk with someone like 81. Part of me does wish I could have implemented the betrayal, but I think it would create more problems than it would solve at this point in the story development.  


Believe it or not, I am not in fact dead, nor have I abandoned this. Work and various other matters have kept me busy, but schedule’s a little lighter and mind a bit more focused, so progress can begin again. Hoping to do another update after this very soon as there’s a scene I’ve been dying to finally get written down. But without further ado, I present the beginning of Act III of A Galaxy’s Fury:

Hard cut to Anakin collapsing to the floor in agony, stripped to a pair of basic pants and a open collared sleeveless shirt. Sweating and panting hard he struggles to stand back up, his expression pained, but with a clear look of hate towards one person. A quick to a wide shot reveals that to be a life size hologram of Crayde,  casually walking around the injured Jedi, and inspecting the damage being done.

“You know a little note of acknowledgment would really be appreciated. Someone like Phakerem would have cut you to pieces already, but some of us still believe in a little thing called decency.” The hologram’s head moves around to better look at Skywalker’s form. “No marks, no burns; just pain. That’s the work of a civilized man.”

Nik supports himself against the wall,  and manages a few words, asking if torture like this is the way he deals with the indignity of being an insignificant Mandalorian puppet. With faux confusion he responds if that if he’s the puppet then why is Anakin the one flailing around at someone else’s whim? An electrical shock then appears and strikes the Jedi who manages a less agonized scream and just manages to stay on his feet this time.

The Crayde hologram crosses his arms in quiet satisfaction, marveling that this device has so many settings, and yet they all work so well. Skywalker still refuses to let up in his defiance asking how weak and desperate must he be to resort to something like this. The older man flippantly replies that even a Jedi like him would do the same thing in the right circumstance. Nik’s response is vehement. “I’d sooner be dead.”

Cut to an office where we see the actual Crayde in a specialized office watching Skywalker’s holographic form still struggling to stand. He tells Anakin that the latter is prolonging this process, not   him. “You’re hurting yourself and importantly you’re taking up my valuable time; does it feel worth it you right now?”  The young man sarcastically asks if the great Chancellor of Coalition is getting a little upset.  Shaking his head, he bitterly spits out that he always heard Crayde was corrupt, but even he didn’t think he was capable of selling out the entire Republic just for a high rise on Coruscant.

Cut back to the torture room as the Crayde hologram gestures to the surroundings and says that helping to bring about about everlasting galactic peace has earned a building or two. Anakin walks up close to the the hologram and looks it straight in the eye; asking if he’s really calling indefinite life under the Coalition’s boot peace.

Draezin smirks. “From a certain point of view.” He says they need to get back to the matter at hand, and demands to know the location of the Republic resistance. For the first time in the scene Anakin gives a small (but defiant) smile. “What resistance?” Unamused, Crayde pauses for a moment and looks away before turning back and giving a piercing stare towards Nik.

“I think I’ll try those higher settings now.”

Cut to the Republic cruiser traveling through hyperspace followed by cut to their quarters where Kenobi and Darelda deliberate as 81 walks in. The droid reports that the engines are straining to get ahead of the Coalition ships in hyperspace, but that if Obi-Wan’s plan is right, they’ll show up right as the former will be getting out of light speed. Organa remarks its at least some good news. HX inquires as to what the plan is, with Ben saying their key priority is slowing down the Mandalorians as much as possible before they reach Coruscant and encounter the Republic invasion soon to come.

The senator’s face somehow turns even more anxious, and she looks Ben in the eye to ask the obvious question of what the Coalition’s plan is with their apparent Force clones. He’s immediately responds that its most likely a reactionary army against the Jedi, pointing out mass infiltration would be useless once even one of them was exposed as one clone is an enigma, many would be an obvious threat. Organa asks why one revealed himself and Kenobi replies that they either counted on this one being successful in destroying them or something went array.

At that 81 brings up that the Coalition mass production process disposes of any clone they find defective; if there was something wrong with this copy, the they certainly would have caught it. Obi-Wan just shakes his head saying that replicating a Jedi’s body is one thing, wholly recreating a connection to the Forcce is beyond anything he’s ever heard of. “A mind in tuned to the Force without spirit, there’s no telling what kind of effect that has.”

Heavily sighing, Darelda says they’re dangerous either way, and that if the Coalition has any on Coruscant, the invasion will be even more difficult. Slowly calming himself, Ben tells her and HX to get the coded message for the Republic ready to send as soon as they get out of hyperspace, adding they can’t make any assumptions until the invasion starts and they see what they’re dealing with.


No problem! Good start,  Anakin is being tortured by Crayde and Carima has convinced the resistance. I look forward to the next update.