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Except in this version Roy is Ridley Scott, Sebastian is Sir Ba$tardly, Tyrell is called Pinocchio. He is called Pinocchio beacuse Jerry Perenchio is a billionaire who financed the original movie. It ran over budget, so he now owns the rghts to the movie. Ridley's Special 3 Disc Edition of Blade Runner has been finished now for three years, all this guy has to do is say yes to it.
Anyway, here's the scene:
BLADE RUNNER SPECIAL EDITION
Sir Ba$tardly: Bishop to King 7. Checkmate, I think.
Pinocchio: Quite a brainstorm, uh, Sir Ba$tardly. Milk and cookies kept you awake, huh? Lets discuss this. You better come up, Sir Ba$tardly.
Sir Ba$tardly: Mr. Pinocchio. I-- I brought a friend.
Pinocchio: I'm surprised you didn't come here sooner.
Rid: It's not an easy thing to meet your maker's venture capitalist.
Pinocchio: And, what can he do for you?
Rid: Can the maker be given the cash to repair what he makes.
Pinocchio: Would you like your wife to be modified? Bigger tits, perhaps.
Rid: Stay here. [ pause ] I had in mind something a little more radical.
Pinocchio: What-- What seems to be the problem?
Rid: The crummy DVD release of Blade Runner.
Pinocchio: DVD's. Well, I'm afraid that's a little out of my jurisdiction, you--
Rid: I want better picture quality, f@cker.
Pinocchio: The facts of encoding. To make an alteration in the encoding of an existing movie is fatal. A coding sequence cannot be revised once it's been established.
Rid: Why not?
Pinocchio: Because by the second day of production, any cells that have undergone coding mutations give rise to revertant macroblocks like rats leaving a sinking ship. Then the ship sinks.
Rid: What about recombination of existing footage with extra material.
Pinocchio: We've already tried it. A version is sitting in the vaults of Warner Brothers as we speak. The fact is, this costs money to green light from me. The project was dead before it left the table.
Rid: Then a high definition version.
Pinocchio: Wouldn't obstruct replication, but it does give rise to a decrease in installed users of high definition video players so that the newly formed movie replicates these errors in budgeting and you've got spiralling costs again. But, uh, this-- all of this is academic. It were made as well as we could make it - on a budget of peanuts, anyway.
Rid: But not to last.
Pinocchio: The movie that burns twice as sh1te burns half as long. And Blade Runner: The Director's Cut has burned so very very sh1tely, Rid. Look at it. It's the prodigal turd. It's quite a booby prize!
Rid: I've done questionable things. G.I. Jane. 1492: Conquest of Paradise. Black Rain was pretty naff, too.
Pinocchio: Also extraordinary things. Revel in your time.
Rid: Nothing the god of finance wouldn't let you in heaven for.
[ Rid kisses Pinocchio on the mouth. Pinocchio screams as his eyes are gouged out. ]
