No, seriously, DF said some good stuff in that post. Like he said, take things slow. Don't just swoop in for a kiss and risk taking her by surprise and having her react negatively. If you try something small, like putting your arm around her shoulder and she draws closer to you, or doesn't take the first opportunity to politely remove your arm, then you know you are safe to advance the touching a small degree (not talking about groping her breasts or anything, little things, like brushing your figures along the nap of her neck, or eventually getting that "safe to swoop in for a kiss moment". You sound like your on the right track, going for the hand holding is a good first step on the kinosthetics.
Go with your instincts. I imagine this girl is about the same age as you and as inexperienced as you are, so it is probably akward for her aswell. At this moment you seem uncertain of where your relationship stands. You might want to get that bit figured out. I can imagine how weird it would be to be out having a good time with a friend of yours of the opposite sex who you have no feelings for start making moves on you. Typically, if a girl is just friends with you, she isn't going to be holding your hand while going for a stroll. So like I said before, this is a good place to start. If you find yourself holding hands with her during your next "date", then I think you are safe to assume that it is actually a date and that she is into in that way.
You know I still have a problem thinking people can even like me. I'd call it paranoia but I'm taking anti-psychoctics for that. But I should of kissed her. I figure trying holding her hand next time would be a good way to find out without going too far.
Sean, I know life tosses some shit at us sometimes. Sometimes things feel really unfair, that some of the most basic things to others ought to be such a stuggle to us. Some people are shallow, but there are plenty of people out there willing to care for someone simply for who they are. I don't know anything about you, or why you feel this way about yourself. All I can say is that you really shouldn't. There is no reason for you to think that people can't like you. From all the posts I have read from you in the past, it sounds like you are trying hard to be the best you can be, and that is all any of us can do. None of us are perfect, everyone has their struggles and things they don't like about themselves. And usually the things we feel most self conscious about, or the most down on ourselves for, usually are not even immediately noticeable to those around us. A lot of guys that feel the way you do end up being so down on themselves that they find a total shit woman who walks all over them and treats them rotten. Aim high in your pursuits. There is no reason to think other people are somehow better or more likable than you are. You are Sean freakin' Wookie, man! Or whatever your real name is, and that is something to be damn proud of.
All that matters is that you behave in a manner that is to be proud of, looks and everything else don't make who we are, it is what we choose to be. Not trying to sound sappy here, bit this is the truth.
DF was also right about the whole leadership thing. All girls are different of course, but everyone has build in instincts that are universal. A womans natural instinct is to find a male who can protect her and her offspring. To appeal to that instinct, you need to show confidence, to take control of the occasion. For example, rather than picking her up, then asking her where she wants to eat, and just doing everything she says she wants to do, find out what her favorite resturant it long before hand, this can be discovered through casual conversation. Then, when you come to pick her up, tell her that is where you are going to eat, and ask her how that sounds. The end result is the same, in both cases you go eat at the place she wants, only in the second scenario you show her you are able to take control of the situation and plan out an enjoyable evening on your own.
Alternatively, if you have a hard time finding resturant ideas from her through casual conversations, another good idea is to pick out several different types of resturants in advance. Then when you pick her up you can have a conversation something like this,
YOU: "How does Italian sound to you?"
HER: "Sounds great!"
YOU: "Excellent. I know this really great place."
or
YOU: "How does Italian sound to you?"
HER: "Oh... actually, I'm not really a fan of Italian food..."
YOU: "No problem! How does Mexican sound then?"
HER: "Sounds good to me."
YOU: "Excellent. I know this really great place."
