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Another bloody edit of TPM (* unfinished project *) — Page 2

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Hmmm, you mentioned having a somber ending for your end of ep.1 . However, if we have a somber ending for a the end of the first, second and a last movie in the trilogy.........then I see the need for at least one ending to feel successful or complete. And that is the best thing about TPM is that it resolves its obvious threat in the movie, it actually has closure to the invasion of naboo. I agree that it got complicated during the battle, but still I don't know if ep.1 should have a somber ending. It could be a DARKER movie, this is true, but I feel that ep. 2 and 3 end on the somber side enough. We at the "real ranch" were trying to make a movie that mirrored ANH and we all know that ANH had a big explosion and award ceremony.
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That's fair enough. My problem is that the ceremony as is makes little sense because the Gungans aren't there to celebrate anymore. I suppose some dubbed subtitles could solve the problem. The problem is that I like the funeral scene and I think it needs to be in there, but there's not really a natural place for it to sit with what I have in mind, if the ceremony goes at the end.

I do take your point, though.
I am NOT a committee!
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There's a scene in the first third when Gunray has captured Amidala and is trying to get her to sign the treaty on the way down a long flight of stairs. This can instead be used for him to tell her how he's enjoying the killing of the symbiants (the Gungans) and how that will slowly destroy the planet, and how he's about to go and personally kill some children. Around about here can be inserted the parts of the Gungan battle from the end of the film that show the Gungans getting thrashed.


This is a VERY interesting idea! I still enjoy most of the gungan battle anyway, so at least some of it will stay in...

This made me think about Jar Jars introduction.
There have been different ideas on how to handle that.
But once I read the above paragraph, I thought of this:
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k168/SSWR/JarJar01.jpg
With this edit Quigon (could) now come in on jarjar being surrounded by battle droids. (and I guess the animals are still running around in the bg)
The gungan battle could be happening at the same time...jarjar just happens to get singled out by the droids...or something like that...

I'm sure there are holes to be poked...please go ahead! I'm OK with it!
This could prove difficult to do, but I just had to follow through on the pic!
If anything, this might lead to an even better idea.

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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Originally posted by: SomethingStarWarsRelated

This made me think about Jar Jars introduction.
There have been different ideas on how to handle that.
But once I read the above paragraph, I thought of this...
With this edit Quigon (could) now come in on jarjar being surrounded by battle droids...


Very interesting. That really would tie the landing and the invasion together for me, it's a great idea, and not too hard - Qui-Gonn is already waving his arms around just before that shot anyway. And some more sound effects can be added in thoughout to make it sound like all hell is breaking loose off-camera.

I am NOT a committee!
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Originally posted by: lth

This isn't fucking Nascar.


I sooo want Anakin to say that as he prepares for the race.


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Thanks. I wasn't proposing Qui-Gonn sacrifices himself, but now that you mention it, it's certainly something to think about. As mentioned elsewhere, there may not be the footage to pull it off, because there simply isn't a held shot on Qui-Gonn as he gets killed in the same way that there is one of Obi-Wan.


Oh yeah. I forgot about the surprised look on his face...Doesn't he relax while waiting for the forcefields between him and Maul to deactivate?...Might be worth a look...
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Yes, he does. Whether that will be enough, I'm not sure - since ideally Anakin would be in trouble, Qui-Gonn would sense it during the fight, and then transcend in order to help out. Would that make sense?
I am NOT a committee!
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first of all, I like the idea but I think it depends on how things are handled...I mean at the point where anakin was in trouble didn't he just start mashing buttons and pulling triggers randomly? - which saved the day.

I do like Qui gon resting and trying to help out at that point during the fight - since the 3 of them are seperated, which pauses the fight anyway. I guess that's not quite stealing the thunder from Ben in ANH since he was doing it after he died.

Secondly I'm really tired...Let's see what everyone else thinks.

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Well, this could be a pain to do....but you *could* replace Jake Lloyds voice entirely...that way you could have him say whatever needs to be said-...and that goes for the whole movie!
But finding a kid (or someone who sounds like a kid) could be difficult...but *I* think it's worth looking in to...hmm

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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I think that there's a load of analysis that needs to be done before actually thinking about dubbing Anakin - the question is, of course, what could he say instead with the footage that's available?
I am NOT a committee!
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Oh I agree. Would it be worth doing?...that is the question...I'll have to go back through the movie and take a listen...
Actually, another possible opition would be to look at a few other movies Jake did around that time (the only one I can think of right now is Jingle All The Way) and possibly use dialoge from that...

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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One has to consider what Anakin actually needs to say compared to what he does say. Laserman (iirc) made an excellent point earlier that we should be able to see that spirit in Anakin of "I can change things. I have the power to make things better" that he later develops and is ultimately his downfall.
... Right, having watched ADM's cut of this scene (I don't have the original handy) there's a couple of long reaction shots on Shmi's face. Brilliantly, they are both when Anakin is talking, and both exactly when an extra line could be inserted to do the most good. This can definitely be done.

The second big scene with Anakin is his introduction to Padme, which is awful in raw TPM. This deserves editing just to make it presentable. Watching the ADM cut because I have it handy, his first "are you an angel" is said at such a range that it could be easily replaced with a different line, and his followup is spoken entirely on a reaction shot to Padme, then he goes into a non-sequiteur about being a pilot. Could this become "are you a akgjasldkgj [slang term for pilot]?" she says "Hnuh?", he says "A pilot. I'm a pilot, you know..." I mean, they've just turned up asking for spaceship parts, so this makes a lot more sense and eliminates the cringe. Is there enough Padme reaction to splice in when he's talking about "flying away from this place" a "and free *all* the slaves"? Anyway, this scene should establish Anakin as a precocious youngster, and also someone with ambition:

ANAKIN: Are you a sky surfer? [or whatever - any suggestions?]
PADME: Hnuh?
ANAKIN: A sky surfer. A pilot. I guess not. ... I'm a pilot. And someday, I'm gonna fly away from this place, and take my mom too.
PADME: You're a pilot? (this could be dubbed into something else - is Padme dubbed in SOTDS?)
ANAKIN: All my life (cringe)
PADME: How long have you been here?
ANAKIN: Since I was 3 yadda yadda yawn
PADME: You're a slave?
ANAKIN: I'm a person, and my name is Anakin.
PADME: I'm sorry.
*wipe to Qui-Gonn and Watto outside - they have their conversation*
*wipe back to inside*
*Padme and Anakin react to someone entering. Qui-Gonn returns*
PADME: I was glad to meet you, Anakin.
ANAKIN: I was glad to meet you too! (this is about the best exchange in this scene)

After that there's a little bit with Anakin and Sebulba that can be subtitled to be anything. I think this should show a kind of casual violence of language from Anakin (to a degree!), something that's harder-edged than anything anywhere else. Some hints as to what he'll grow up to be.

ANAKIN: Hey, Sebulba, I thought I told you you could only pick on people as ugly as yourself.
SEBULBA: Like you, Skywalker? Human children don't just look bad, they smell bad.
ANAKIN: Dude, whatever.
(please try and improve on this! My attempt bites)

---

All comments and suggestions welcome.
I am NOT a committee!
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I plan on replying more to your post, but I thought I'd post this quote from InfoDroid from another thread (I hope that's OK, InfoDroid!)

"Back when I was still involved in this project, the plan was to dub Anakin from a later scene speaking Huttese and have the subtitle read "You have the eyes of an angel." or something to that effect. And because she doesn't understand Huttese, her response would be "What?" And he'd repeat in English, "An angel."

I felt that although it didn't make the scene perfect, it did take away a lot of the stilted feel of the dialogue and made Anakin look a little more charming, 10 years old or not. We then edited and rearranged the rest of the conversation to try to make it sound less halting and more natural. For instance:

Padme: "You're a slave?"

Anakin: "All my life... My mom and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt, but she lost us betting on the podraces."

Padme: "How long have you been here?"

Anakin: "Since I was three...I think, and someday, I'm gonna fly away from this place."

It's not word-for-word, but it was something along those lines. We also changed the music to a muted and incomplete version of the AOTC love theme (by Musicman), which helped significantly to change the mood of the scene and gave it a bit more of a "this is destiny, this is important" feeling to their first meeting. That's about the best we could do with the material Lucas gave us to work with."

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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Yes!

I stand by that arrangement of the scene and think that's still the way to go with it. We worked really hard on that scene in particular because I felt it was so important to the saga, and after trying many different variations, this is the one we felt worked the best.

Again, it's not perfect, but I feel it's a vast improvement over the original version.

And that Starkiller thread really is packed FULL of fantastic analysis and ideas for Episode I, by a group of people who studied it in-depth, picked each scene apart literally line-by-line, and genuinely tried to improve the material. It's just a shame no one ever got to see it come to fruition.

--ID

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I looked through my hard drive and I don't see it. Musicman probably still has the music clip though.

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Hi!

I opened this thread and was so excited to find that you want to do this edit so it's compatible with SOTDS. It's very good timing, because SOTDS comes out this year for sure. As others have said, the "Starkiller" thread has some really good ideas regarding Episode I. Also, Erikstormtrooper's site contains a re-written Ep. I by MTHaslett, InfoDroid and Commander Courage (I think?). The funny thing is that I was never given the password to the script, even though I started the series

PADME: You're a pilot? (this could be dubbed into something else - is Padme dubbed in SOTDS?)

Unfortunately no. If anyone can find a woman willing to do ADR for three Star Wars movies, I'll gladly use the recordings and do SOTDS version 2.0. Since the mixes are pratically all recreated anyway, it'd be very easy to replace Portman in SOTDS, and it would actually create a cleaner sounding mix. Doing the other two movies is where it'd probably get difficult.

Speaking of dubbing, the Nemoidians are dubbed and subtitled for SOTDS in an obscure language (a variant of "Tagalog", I think. So when you're ready, you'll want to contact Sluggo with all of the lines you've written, so that they can be translated and recorded by his two friends, who did a very professional job with the lines.

Also, I introduced C-3PO in SOTDS, and there's a new backstory that goes with him (Anakin didn't build him).

And then there's the question... does Maul=Grievous? I'm actually not sure, and there's nothing in SOTDS that indicates one way or another.



ANAKIN: Hey, Sebulba, I thought I told you you could only pick on people as ugly as yourself.
SEBULBA: Like you, Skywalker? Human children don't just look bad, they smell bad.
ANAKIN: Dude, whatever.


Ha ha! In my opinion, Star Wars characters shouldn’t use modern words like “dude”, “man”, “cool”, “boyfriend”, “girlfriend”… “This party’s over!” Etc. My goal was to model the prequels after classic film. I always referred back to this, and the general feel is grittier and less "modern and sterilized", if you know what I mean. You'll definitely understand what I'm talking about after seeing SOTDS.

Also, technically speaking: SOTDS is in 2:35:1 anamorphic, with a stereo soundtrack (PCM and Dolby Digital depending on the edition). I'm trying to matrix it and make it Pro Logic compatible (so the stereo can be decoded into four channel surround), but I'm still uncertain about that.

Anyway, it's really wonderful that you are considering doing this- it's a LOT of tedious work, but there's a lot of fun that goes along with it, as you see the movie improve drastically before your eyes.

May the force be with you!

Episode II: Shroud of the Dark Side

Emperor Jar-Jar
“Back when we made Star Wars, we just couldn’t make Palpatine as evil as we intended. Now, thanks to the miracles of technology, it is finally possible. Finally, I’ve created the movies that I originally imagined.” -George Lucas on the 2007 Extra Extra Special HD-DVD Edition

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I still have the cut of that scene in vegas, but I don't have the music clip that Musicman did.
"You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could...you never stopped to think if you should." - Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
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Ah, well, I figured if we could look at this raw edited scene, we could come...to...some...kind...of...conclusi-...No, I just really love it when people post video clips!

I've been looking at all the Naboo footage from TPM...trying to come at it from a different angle (invasion and gungan battle taking place early in the film)....
Ith, any more detailed thoughts on that part of the film?
I've come up with a few ideas...but I'll massage them a bit more before I post them...

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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Nice nudge

I've been moving house, and don't have net access at home, so I'll be quiet around here for a bit. More later.
I am NOT a committee!
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Alright, I’ve been working on this idea on and off for a few weeks now…
I’d call this an animatic, since these videos only consist of stills and audio from TPM…
The purpose of these two clips is:
1. To be useful for Ith’s edit with the gungan battle on Naboo.
2. Trying to use footage in other places so we don’t have an 80 minute TPM.
I should also mention that some of the ideas are able to be achieved ONLY if you can slow/massage the original TPM footage.

Let’s look at the first video:
Clip 1
So this would be a new intro for the gungans and Jar Jar. You could throw Boss Nas in there if you want saying “Who’s a dis?”, but I decided to leave him out. Heck, in this version, you probably wouldn’t have to have Boss Nass in the movie at all.
I like this version because you now see some of the creatures from Naboo REACTING to the invasion!
Also this version would allow us to not even bother going to the gungan city at all. We basically show Jar Jar leading the Jedi to the palace on foot (this is also something I’m working on). So yeah, no gungan city, and no bongo ride.

Second clip:
Clip 2
Following this clip, you could then cut the gungan battle together with the queen being captured and the Jedi arriving. The great thing about this idea is that in this timeline, Jar Jar is with the Jedi, so he can’t be in the battle at all!

The hardest part would be figuring out what to do with the Padme/Queen subplot. Because if you go with these ideas, you wouldn’t have that scene (where she reveals herself to everyone) in the movie at all.

So, these ideas are not completely fleshed out…and some of the shots might be difficult, but I think it could really be worth it.
I’d love to hear some thoughts…

Ith, if you're there, I'd love to hear from you too!

SSWR’s YouTube channel

Attack of the Clones: Alternate Timeline Edit Thread:
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888

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I am here, intermittently. No internet at home until the middle of December. My work PC doesn't have sound so I can't really appreciate those clips, unfortunately, so I'll comment on them in a few weeks. Sorry.
I am NOT a committee!
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Originally posted by: SomethingStarWarsRelated
Alright, I’ve been working on this idea on and off for a few weeks now…
I’d call this an animatic, since these videos only consist of stills and audio from TPM…
The purpose of these two clips is:
1. To be useful for Ith’s edit with the gungan battle on Naboo.
2. Trying to use footage in other places so we don’t have an 80 minute TPM.
I should also mention that some of the ideas are able to be achieved ONLY if you can slow/massage the original TPM footage.

Let’s look at the first video:
Clip 1
So this would be a new intro for the gungans and Jar Jar. You could throw Boss Nas in there if you want saying “Who’s a dis?”, but I decided to leave him out. Heck, in this version, you probably wouldn’t have to have Boss Nass in the movie at all.
I like this version because you now see some of the creatures from Naboo REACTING to the invasion!
Also this version would allow us to not even bother going to the gungan city at all. We basically show Jar Jar leading the Jedi to the palace on foot (this is also something I’m working on). So yeah, no gungan city, and no bongo ride.

Second clip:
Clip 2
Following this clip, you could then cut the gungan battle together with the queen being captured and the Jedi arriving. The great thing about this idea is that in this timeline, Jar Jar is with the Jedi, so he can’t be in the battle at all!

The hardest part would be figuring out what to do with the Padme/Queen subplot. Because if you go with these ideas, you wouldn’t have that scene (where she reveals herself to everyone) in the movie at all.

So, these ideas are not completely fleshed out…and some of the shots might be difficult, but I think it could really be worth it.
I’d love to hear some thoughts…

Ith, if you're there, I'd love to hear from you too!


Sounds like a great idea... this is definitely the direction i want to go with tpm. The clips look really good and makes the invasion seem more interesting, and importantly - menacing! this might also allow more time to focus on Anakin.