logo Sign In

Al Bundy

Author
Date
Author
Time
Post link
What are your favorite Al Bundy lines? In my opinion Al Bundy is the coolest guy. He is the all American man. He enjoys sports, beer, and hooters. He is the essence of every man. He is all men. He is what we want to be like but can't because of the rule of women. Lifes constantly kicking the poor guy down but he gets up and keeps on trying. Bundys are losers not quiters. Als family doesn't respect him, nieghboor hates him, works for minimum wage selling shoes to horrible fat women.
Author
Time
Post link
*RRS-1980 sits down casually on a couch, puts a hand inside his jeans on the side and sighs with a grimace on his face
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
Author
Time
Post link
Peg...
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
Author
Time
Post link
"Honey, your an idiot"
"Women can't live with em. The end"
"Love, hate were family whats the difference"
"Shes a tramp son"
"Revenge is great"
"Oh yeah well your a chicken"
"Because we get horny and don't have the sense to say no"
"Sorry Peg I wasn't listening to you I was thinking about killing myself"
"Damn George Washington I wish he was dead"
"Doesn't the constitution gives us the right to life, nudity, and the pursute of happiness"
"Good one God"
"My pretty teenage daughter with the brain of a fruitfly makes $3000 dollars in one week should I be worryed"
"Look at the mighty coakroach. They have been hear long before man and will be here long after were gone. Because they eat crap"
"Look at that I would say it was a chicken but it doesn't have any breasts only nuggets"
Author
Time
Post link
this isnt a line, but id say it still qualifies... the pose al bundy makes when he is reliving his QB youth.
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
Author
Time
Post link
I always loved it when he sat on the couch with his hand in his pants. I always did that. I first thought it was a bad habit but then when I saw Al do it I knew it was alright.
Author
Time
Post link
"You think I'm a loser? Because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, and a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every day when I wake up in the morning, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep. So I get up. I have my watered-down Tang and my still-frozen Pop Tart. I get in my car with no gas, no upholstery, and six more payments. I fight honking traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes onto the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I wanted to. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never know the joy of driving through the city without a bag over my head. But I'm not a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what they wanted to be, is out there, being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. And the fact that I didn't put a gun in my mouth years ago - that little fact makes me a winner, baby." - Al Bundy
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
Author
Time
Post link
LOL! cute ricarleite!
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
Author
Time
Post link
The Nine Comandments of NO MAAM I live by

1. Its okay to call hooters snake trays or dishs
2. It is wrong to be french
3. Its okay to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder
4. Lawyers see rule 3
5. Its okay to drive a gas gusiler if it helps you get chicks
6. Everyone should car pool except me
7. Bring back the word stewwerdises
8. sicronized swimming is not a sport
9. Mudwrestling is a sport
Author
Time
Post link
i dont like the 2nd one.
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
Author
Time
Post link
Al has always hated the French. He thinks there snooty and comardly.

Married with Children French spoofs

Newscaster: Scientists continue to sift through the pile of ruble that was until yesterday the repulblic of France

Bud: Pretend my pants are Franch and invade me

Al: She got you shaken like a French man in a thunderstorm

Al to crowd: Im I the only one hear who hates the French
Crowd: NO!
Author
Time
Post link
Quote
Originally posted by: jimbo
Bud: Pretend my pants are Franch and invade me

this one is classic.

Did you just remember all these off the top of your head or do you have a website you refer to?
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
Post link
Top of my head. I watch that show constantly. I am watching it now.
Author
Time
Post link
Heh heh.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
Post link
nice jimbo...

true that one was classic bossk. and i can just see bud's grin when he is saying that LOL!
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
Author
Time
Post link
As some people would say

"Jimbo for you to get that much Married with Children knowledge you must have no life at all"
"None whatsoever" I responed
Author
Time
Post link
I wasn't gonna say it, Jimbo. I swear. Scout's honor.

I can just see Bud following up that line with (in a bad French accent)... "Divide and conquer!"
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
Post link
Quote
Originally posted by: motti_soL
nice jimbo...

true that one was classic bossk. and i can just see bud's grin when he is saying that LOL!


Bud was fucking some foreign chick so you couldn't see his face. You could only see Als.
Author
Time
Post link
Quote
Originally posted by: Bossk
I wasn't gonna say it, Jimbo. I swear. Scout's honor.

I can just see Bud following up that line with (in a bad French accent)... "Divide and conquer!"


Thats statement I made was a modified Al Bundy line.
Author
Time
Post link
LMFAO! ok! so i can imagine als face!
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
Author
Time
Post link
More great Al lines

"A fat women came into the shoe store today. Here I am easing her hoof into a shoe when suddenly she panics rears up and begins to gallop around the shoe store lucky a butter stick fell out of her purse and I was able to grease my thumb and pull myself free"
"Pegs like a black widow. Kills her mate during sex"
"You oviously have never had sex with your mother before"
"Pumkin see that tree out there. It grows, it changes, it stands, and as far as I am conserned you are just as smart as that tree"
"If Darwin was right they will know in about a million years"
"A fat women Godzillaed into the Shoe store. So fat she was protected by Greenpeace. She asked for something she could wear to Christmas. I told her to stand on her hands past a star to her ass and go as the worlds fatest, ugliest, tree."
Author
Time
Post link
LOL! now i wish they would show reruns here...
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)
Author
Time
Post link
Psycho Dad. Now, why can't a spin-off be made, with Psycho Dad in it? MWC was low, toilet humor, and I hate 99% of all sitcons around the world, but it was one of my guilty pleasures, just like Hitchcock, who enjoyed "Smokey and the Bandit" very much.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
Author
Time
Post link
Whos that riding in the sun
whos the one with the itchy gun
whos the one who kills for fun
Phyco Dad Phyco Day Phyco Dad
Author
Time
Post link
i dont remember anything called Psycho Dad.
"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
Qui-Gon Jinn (R.I.P.)