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20 years ago, would anyone believe...

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Could you imagine if someone had told Star Wars fans this info, 20 years ago? Who would believe that:

1. George Lucas would eventually treat the OOT like Howard the Duck.
2. Battlestar Galactica would be getting better reviews than Star Wars.
3. Ian McDiarmid would appear in The Empire Strikes Back.
4. Darth Vader had no father. His mother carried him, she gave birth to him, but coudn't explain what happened.
5. A Star Wars character would be created that made the Ewoks look good
6. Yoda and the Emperor would have a lightsaber duel.
7. Despite the fact that Leia remembered her, Luke and Leia's mother would die seconds after giving birth.
8. Chewie and Yoda were pals back in the day.
9. Darth Vader was C3PO's father.
10. R2D2 flew (he had a hover coversion but the flying circuits were destroyed)
11. Darth Vader turned to the Dark Side to prevent his pregnant wife from dying.

any other ideas?
George Lucas was seduced by the dark side. The OOT ceased to exist in his mind and became the Special Editions...." "They're more maching now than movies. Twisted and evil."
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12. Sebastian Shaw will lose his eyebrows and will join the force has whiny teen.
13. Lucas: 1977 to 1983: genius, 1997 to 2006: stubborn, liar,stupid,arrogant,etc...
14. Greedo can't aim straight at point blank range! and Han moves faster than the Flash!

any more ideas?

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15. the Force is not a spiritual thing! just something wrong in your blood! (like cholesterol ...how magical !)

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15. Midichlorians!!!!

Edit: beat me to it.
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- Greedo would shot first
- Han would step on Jabba's tail
- A special effect from a Star Trek movie would be added to the three major explosions in the Trilogy
- The Wampa would look like an (awfully bad) actor in a fur suit
- Windows would be cut in every room and corridor on Cloud City
- Vader would ask for "Alerting his Star Destroyer to prepare for his arrival"
- The Sarlacc would grow a beak
- Vader would shave his eyebrows
- Sebastian Shaw as Anakin's Ghost would be replaced by a young actor that was in his diapers when the movie was made

Han: Hey Lando! You kept your promise, right? Not a scratch?
Lando: Well, what’s left of her isn’t scratched. All the scratched parts got knocked off along the way.
Han (exasperated): Knocked off?!

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-That they probly won't like Star Wars anymore...
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-That a place called the internet would become a place for fanboys around the world to bitch and moan about a movie.
"Among many things I have to be thankful for are you, the fans. I know that some of you haven't liked every single thing that I've done with the saga, and that you have a strong sense of ownership over all things Star Wars. But take that passion and devotion and channel it into a creative project of your own."
-George Lucas
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-That the Internet would become a place for fanboys to bitch and moan about other fanboys...

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Which is a lot sadder and more pathetic than the movie-criticizing fanboys.

War does not make one great.

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That Lucas could release the OUT as a "bonus featurette", non-anamorphic-after-thought and people would actually be stumbling over themselves to get it.......

I love everybody. Lets all smoke some reefer and chill. Hug and kisses for everybody.

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That the endlessly anticipated prequel trilogy would serve as about as poorly a thought out, rickety, carelessly put together and as unsatisfying a bridge to the original trilogy as one could possibly imagine.

That Anakin Skywalker would actually suck as a character, rivaled in his cringeworthiness only by Jar Jar Binks.

That Boba Fett would be rendered completely uncool and be utterly deflated of all of his mystique and mystery.

That Darth Vader, king of all villains, would or even could be ruined by Lucas, let alone reduced to a whining, adolescent puss whose turn to the dark side is a grandious way of crossing his arms and stomping his feet at not getting his own way.

That Yoda would, much like Vader and Fett, suffer the horrible fate of de-mystification and be reduced a cheap, comic book gimic.

That the revered lightsaber handed down to Luke in ANH was actually the weapon of a Sith, used to slaughter kids, and not the heroic icon that we foolishly spent 28 years thinking that it was.
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That George Lucas has never actually seen Star Wars!
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LOL, it does seem like George has never seen Star Wars. Or hasn't seen it in a very very long time (I wonder if he's watched the OOT since making the SE).

Here are some more....

-one of the prequels would be called Phantom Menace
-one of the prequels would be called Attack of the Clones
-fans would create higher quality versions of the OOT than Lucas himself
-Lapti Nek and Yub Yub would be replaced by even cheesier and less entertaining music
-a clip of Vader arriving aboard the second Death Star would find it's way into Empire
-there would be Star Wars characters named Jar Jar Binks, Nute Gunray, Boss Nass, Sleaze Bagano and Watto
-Luke and Leia's mom's name was Padme Amidala
-George Lucas would write and direct all three prequels
-George Lucas would claim he never said there would be a third trilogy
-Leia's mother was a Queen on a planet other then Alderaan and later became a Senator. Her adopted father was a Senator, but she still wound up a Princess anyway
-Seeing Tantive IV in the final prequel would be the highlight of the prequels for many fans
-Yoda would be a cartoon character
George Lucas was seduced by the dark side. The OOT ceased to exist in his mind and became the Special Editions...." "They're more maching now than movies. Twisted and evil."
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Great list so far. And that was a great response to that Randy fellow from Gaffer. I laughed.

Originally posted by: JediFlyer06

That Darth Vader, king of all villains, would or even could be ruined by Lucas, let alone reduced to a whining, adolescent puss whose turn to the dark side is a grandious way of crossing his arms and stomping his feet at not getting his own way.


Amen.

I would add:

That Darth Vader turned to the dark side because either 1. He justifiably cut off an evil Sith warrior's head, or 2. Because he desperately wanted to believe obvious Sith lies (from an obviously evil Sith lord) which told him that the irrational murder of innocent children would somehow save his wife from a hazy and indefinite threat that might not have even killed her for all he could have known?

That Darth Vader's complete transformation into a machine-man took place in the span of a few hours?

That Darth Vader didn't hunt down or kill any real Jedi of any notoriety, but instead only murdered a bunch of young children in Jedi training?

That the incredibly expansive organization of the Jedi were not hunted to extinction over many long years but were all simultaneously fooled at the same time by many different but equally obvious plots to kill them?

That it was simple, pathetic, and inept Storm Troopers that killed practically every last Jedi without even the slightest fight (except for Yoda and Obiwan)?

That the Jedi were a pathetic police force under the direct control of the republic?

That the Jedi, despite having immense and mystically special knowledge about everything, visions of the future, and advanced (magical?) monitoring technology, couldn't see a completely obvious conspiracy forming plainly in front of their collective faces?

That the rise of the Empire and the decline of the Republic was a pathetic little and forgettable war between some pointless droids and meaningless clone troops?

That all of the Storm Troopers are meaningless cloned troops?

That the “clone wars” didn’t affect much of the rest of the galaxy or ordinary people in any way unless they happened to be Wookies?

That the Death Star was not the greatest military project commissioned by the Empire but a weapon designed, financed, and built all in secret by the Sith?

That the "Sith" were a large sect of warriors comprised of one man . . . occasionally two?


(Edit: changed some wording.)

"Now all Lucas has to do is make a cgi version of himself.  It will be better than the original and fit his original vision." - skyjedi2005

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Originally posted by: JennyS1138
2. Battlestar Galactica would be getting better reviews than Star Wars.


Oh, I forgot to say that this one gave me a pretty good laugh.

"Now all Lucas has to do is make a cgi version of himself.  It will be better than the original and fit his original vision." - skyjedi2005

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All of these things are good points and they all point to the one inherent flaw in the Prequel Trilogy that is responsible for all other flaws -

If you had seen the Original Trilogy and knew even a smattering of the back story not mentioned in the movie (such as the intro from the original SW novelization regarding Palpatine), nothing could have prepared you for what would eventually be put into the prequels.

It would be like if you heard all about a movie that was coming out soon, heard little bits and pieces and connected some dots in your head, and then when the movie came out, all the movie was was video of a person in a bathroom, pooping. You heard stuff about Clone Wars, Mandalorian battle armor, the Old Republic, Anakin being a great pilot, etc. and then you go watch video of pooping.

Okay, it wasn't quite that dramatic of a difference, but the PT was definitely not what people expected to see given all of the "canonical" information provided in the OT and sundry early sources.

I'll add some items to this growing list:

- That the clones in the Clone Wars were all clones of Boba Fett's father.
- That there weren't several genetic fathers/mothers for clones.
- That there wasn't at least one cloned Jedi/Sith warrior.
- That Boba Fett's armor was not Mandalorian battle armor, as used by many soldiers in the Clone Wars (didn't everyone think that to begin prior to the PT?) but instead a dirty looking version of his father's shiny suit.
- That Palpatine dreamed up an overly elaborate scheme to pit an expensive robotic army (paid for by him?) against an expensive clone army (paid for by him?), all to destabilize society enough for him to sneakily snatch power over the course of several years, rather than staging a military coup with his combined forces.
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Super Mario Bros. - The Wicked Star Story
"Ah, the proverbial sad sack with a wasted wish."
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It seems that Lucas has been too busy viewing Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope to actually watch Star Wars, the film which was released in 1977.

“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.”

Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death

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Originally posted by: Mike O
It seems that Lucas has been too busy viewing Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope to actually watch Star Wars, the film which was released in 1977.


You forgot Special Edition.
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Super Mario Bros. - The Wicked Star Story
"Ah, the proverbial sad sack with a wasted wish."
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It was implied by calling it Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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-That the special effects of 1977 would look more realistic than the effects of the new millenium.

-That George Lucas would resent and loathe his fans.

-That Lucas's new millenium movies would be all animated with a few live action charecters.
Watch DarthEvil's Who Framed Darth Vader? video on YouTube!

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Originally posted by: Gaffer Tape
It was implied by calling it Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope.


I know - I didn't mean anything by it, I was just making fun of the whole situation. (Are three clarifying subtitles necessary for a film that started out with a two-word title?) In 1997, though, that was the technical title of the movie as it was presented. It's just sad.
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Super Mario Bros. - The Wicked Star Story
"Ah, the proverbial sad sack with a wasted wish."
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But to Lucas, the SEs are the movies and the original are just a rough draft. As we have seen and are continuing to see, however, fans know better.

“What Orwell feared were those who would ban books. What Huxley feared was that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one.”

Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death

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Originally posted by: andy_k_250
- That Palpatine dreamed up an overly elaborate scheme to pit an expensive robotic army (paid for by him?) against an expensive clone army (paid for by him?), all to destabilize society enough for him to sneakily snatch power over the course of several years, rather than staging a military coup with his combined forces.

I know! It was all so absolutely pointless. The PT movies tried to display Palpatine's "plot" as subtle and ingenius, but even basic analytical skills would clearly reveal how wasteful and simplistic it all was. The only reason his plans worked was because the old Republic was even more incompotent by comparison and on every evel.


Originally posted by: Darth_Evil
-That the special effects of 1977 would look more realistic than the effects of the new millenium.

-That George Lucas would resent and loathe his fans.

-That Lucas's new millenium movies would be all animated with a few live action charecters.


All three are sadly too true. The third one most of all. After RotS I'm surprised that GL even found the need to film real people.

"Now all Lucas has to do is make a cgi version of himself.  It will be better than the original and fit his original vision." - skyjedi2005

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I’ll try a few:

- That the more George Lucas has to do with Star Wars the less the films feel like Star Wars.
- That the juvenile nature of certain segments of Jedi was not the exception, but the new rule for Star Wars Films.
- That a single Star Wars Video Game (KOTOR) would be deeper, more enthralling and written with more attention to detail than all three PT films. All with a budget of less than 1/100th of one PT film.
- That Ben Kenobi was not a rebellious, bad ass of a Jedi, but the stodgiest and most orthodox Jedi in the order and one that lost more fights than he won.
- That Ben would actually argue AGAINST training Anakin.
- That Chewie would see one of the greatest Jedi (Yoda) in action and never mention it to Han. In light of ROTS one can only see Chewie as an asshole for not speaking up when Han was bagging on the force in the OT.
- That Anakin would not be a spectacular fighter pilot when Ben first met him.
- That Ben would not feel how strong the force was in Anakin, but rely on the transmission of blood molecules into his PDA for this information. I guess I figured Ben would sense the greatness in Anakin the same way John the Baptist sensed it in Jesus. Instead Ben was just opening a PDF or an Excel file and prattling off numbers.

As many have pointed out George could’ve done a much better job with the PT if he would’ve just remained true to his own established canon. There are issues where there didn’t need to be issues. Just make Anakin 19 in Episode I and 90% of the contradictions and lack of character development in the PT could’ve been avoided.
"Look, going good against bashers/gushers is one thing. Going good against the living? That's something else."
- Darth-Adroit

“I also thought George could be turned back to the good side. It couldn't be done. He is more CGI now than story. Twisted and evil.”
- Darth-Adroit
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-That Samuel L. Jackson would play a large role in the PT (Though I don't think there's any point in time where I'd believe that)

-All of the humor in the movies would consist of fart jokes and "slapstick" antics

-The PT would make Yoda look less realistic.

-C3-PO had 'puns' programmed in when he was first created by the Dark Lord of the Sith.

-The PT would focus on the political scheming of politicians.

-The Force doesn't exist.