logo Sign In

Post #244141

Author
Obiwampa
Parent topic
And on the 8th day, God created socks that wont stay up, mosquitos, Taco Bell, and Letterboxed DVD's. It was not good.
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/244141/action/topic#244141
Date created
14-Sep-2006, 1:30 PM
As I sat watching the shimmery pixels of the twin suns setting on Tattooine yesterday, I bemusedly asked myself when was the last DVD I purchased that looked this bad? Had I? I went home to see. Yes I had. Kurosawa's 'Ran'. I'm no expert, but I'm guessing that this early edition was mastered using the same late 80's early 90's technology as the GOUT. What is the correlation between expensive soap and earplugs? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! What is the connection between 'Ran' and 'Star Wars'? Read on... George Lucas and F.F. Coppola helped Kurosawa get 'Ran' made. 'Ran' has since been given the ultra slick Criterion Collection two-disc all night spa treatment, with wet and wild super happy fun finish. While at the same time, Lucas is giving us this shut up and take it, prison shower style, dry handed reach around, with sphincter tearing anal invasion at no extra cost. The significance?? I DON'T KNOW!!! I just thought I'd mention it.

Lucas has sort of become like Bush. Shut up in his ivory tower, to high above us all to stoop to answering our pathetic little questions. "Let them eat laser disc masters..." he says through a mouthfull of turkey leg, while waving his ring laden hand at his servants. I guess like the war in Iraq, this is so infuriating because it could very easily have been avoided. What a waste of plastic this DVD is. Long after the human race is gone, this DVD will still be around, along with pop bottles, milk jugs, cockroaches, and Keith Richards. I hope that someday, someone will find a good use for it. Here are my suggestions, Mad Max/Waterworld mutant man... Plane signaler, coaster for your glass of filtered pee, break them into tiny bits for fishing lures, sharpen the edges and use like a ninja star, makeshift rearview mirror for your V-8 interceptor........