I’m only in as far as the title but I have to say the intro is quite professional. The music is timed well, the text pacing is good, and the logo placements is official looking.
The opening of the episode is quite abrupt. I’ve not had time to follow this thread recently so I don’t know if it’s come up before, but a traditional establishing shot of the planet might be better. I know the text has introduced Obi but he still basically appears out of nowhere. the following scenes up until the throne room go by very quickly so even a few seconds of Obi on approach to the planet would fit.

I don’t know how much you’ve altered the footage from the original colours but it looks to me like the blacks are deeper which really works in this episode due to the intensive light effects in the city.

Why does Obi go to visit the mines? Why does the the mines level of operation indicate Death Watch activity? I don’t know if that was explained in the original or not but it’s odd. I was also confused by Obi’s lightsabre but I figured Vizlar picked it up from the factory on his way upstairs (I’m guessing he followed Satine).

I forgot the presence of Onn Free Tar (or however it’s spelt) but I’m glad it’s in this episode as a fat Twi’lek is highly relevant to the new series of The Mandalorian.

The end credits are well laid out. I don’t know if the inclusion of the character concept (the body rigs and so on) is as good an idea as the presence of the digital sketches as they get cut off quite a bit and the music is significantly louder than the other music in the episode.
The special thanks section has the left side and right side in different blues and there’s a rogue full stop floating at the bottom.