Seeing as how she’s married with children from what I remember you mentioning, that wouldn’t do you any good.
Stop dwelling on her.
EDIT: Just to add, I actually do empathize with your situation to a degree. I’ve screwed up plenty of relationships, but you have to realize that just because two people aren’t compatible it doesn’t mean that either one is evil, bad, or even really at fault. Some things just don’t work out.
This.
You have to keep moving forward. You trap yourself in the past and that does nobody any good.
Sharks die when they stop swimming, so stop dying and start swimming.