I’m beginning to understand what the expression “envy the dead” means. God, this is fucking hell. I’ve barely eaten or slept in a day and a half.
I don’t mean this to sound harsh or uncaring but it’s the internet and text only communication can come out that way. But eat something and go to bed. Even if you don’t want to, even if you don’t sleep. Rested insomnia is less harmful than restless insomnia. Force yourself to lie in bed under cover for six hours. Don’t take the phone. If you must read something take a book. Treat food as medicine. Depression can utterly wipe out appetite but people shouldn’t eat to sate appetite they should eat for fuelling physical health. If you must combine the two take a packed lunch to bed. Something balanced and healthy. And make yourself eat all of it. And drink water. Once again even if it’s a chore. Avoid stimulants like coffee and tea. Eventually your sleep patterns will return and your appreciation of food will return but give it time. You have an illness. If you had a cold or flu you would probably lose sleep and appetite but you would probably be less hard on yourself about it.