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Post #991359

Author
S-Snake88
Parent topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/991359/action/topic#991359
Date created
9-Sep-2016, 6:31 AM

Sorry I haven’t given you feedback before, but I’ve been really busy. But now I’ll give feedback for Ep.I and Ep.II:
Before give you feedback, I have to say that you’re really doing a great job, to me, your prequels capture the essence (or almost) of the OT. You have also followed the canon established in the OT (not adapted, as Lucas did), no midiclorians, you’ve kept the mystery of the Force, a better version of the Clone Wars (the clones being the enemies), etc.

And now without further ado my feedback from Ep.I and Ep.II:
Episode I
A great episode. A great start of the saga is told, and better led than the original Ep.I. Everything fits better, Beru being Anakin’s sister solving the connection Skywalker-Lars better than Lucas version, you show Alderaan, which was a big mistake in Lucas’s prequels not showing it (well, at the end of Ep.III only to show Bail, Bail’s wife and Leia), better and more elaborate antagonists than the Neimoidians in Lucas version. Ben is the one who discovers Anakin (not someone else), his relationship with Anakin is best carried, a more believable romance between Anakin and Mother Skywalker (Carima in this case), and a very important thing, the Clone Wars begin at the end of Ep.I, being able to show more of the war in the following episodes (not only the end as in the Ep.III), I must also say that I like more the changes in the version of the script that the treatment (I must say that the story does not change, only some scenes or the same scene but changing some character).

Episode II
For now, the best episode. A great war story is told with a scenario that nobody thought could exist (Coruscant captured by the enemy), the characters have evolved well and have changed (especially Anakin), and the new ones also: Nellith a Jedi master, her parallel with Anakin, especially her fall to the dark side, the reason is very similar to Anakin’s (but Anakin will not be able to backtrack, until Episode VI), Palpatine, although he appears little in this episode, he has a great impact on Anakin. The Jedi clones, and the issue of Darth Vader’s name you have solved very well (a Jedi title that he will corrupting it). I agree with DLoomys, missing a scene with Fordala and I think also with Bail (perhaps together in one scene), as I feel that Bail is also a little off at the end (at least for me), maybe that’s the scene you can add: Bail talking to Fordala, and perhaps offering him a position in the army or something like that.

And one more thing, I agree with DLoomys that is needed a little more physical description: hair style, color eyes, etc (obviously not all the characters). And fact one of my questions is of a similar theme (not the same), I guess in the revisions you do or scripts (or both) you begin to apply a little more physically descriptions to the characters.

Could you answer me these three questions, don’t worry they are simple:

  • What color is Nellith’s lightsaber? Blue, green, purple?

  • The remote station in which the Republic operates in Ep.II, you say that looks subtly to the Death Star, so my question is: is the future Death Star?

  • This perhaps is the question that requires further elaboration. Could you tell me the exact age of these characters (at least in his first appearance): Ben, Anakin, Carima, Darelda, Phakerem, Crayde, Bail, Palpatine?
    If you don’t want, you don’t need to tell me the exact age of all, if you want you can tell me an approximate age, but at least I’m interested to know the exact age of the three main characters (Ben, Anakin, Carima). Nor is it necessary to tell me the exact age of all in each episode, only from his first appearance (all except Palpatine appear in Ep.I and Palpatine appears first in Ep.II), knowing (unless you’ve changed your mind) that in your prequels spend a total of 8 years (Ep.II 4 years after Ep.I, and Ep.III 4 years after Ep.II).

Sorry for the length, but to give my opinion of the two episodes and questions and something else it has become a little long. Keep going you’re doing an excellent work. 😉