TFA: A Gentle Restructure (Released) — Page 6

Here’s a cover:

What do you think?

Wish you could’ve cheated a little and removed Poe’s second, “We’ve got company”. Kinda bothered me he said it twice. Shoulda suggested sooner!

Hal 9000 said:

Well, everything is ready. The 1080p mkv, 720p mp4, and DVD5 are sitting on my hard drive ready to be uploaded.

To fanedit.info?

I’ve been running around lot this summer and my input on the edit the past few months has been sporadic at best, but I just wanted to chime in and give a big thanks to everyone who shared their ideas and contributed to this edit on both creative and technical levels. Especially a big thanks to Hal for all of your hard work to make this happen and becoming the unspoken leader of this project. I know there may have been times where you almost pulled your hair out from frustration, but I think this is a really great example of not only fan editing but how the fan editing community can come together to collaborate on something we all have a passion for.

I also respect you for being so humble and, for example, having Sherman change the credits on the box cover from just your name to crediting it as a collaboration despite doing the bulk of the work. You could have not said anything and left it as is but you didn’t. That is cool of you.

Also, Sherman, that box cover is perfect. Great job.

Thank you RogueLeader!

Here’s the second lot of covers:
Blu-ray:

And now a DVD cover:

Please let me know if anything else needs to be changed.
Sherman

It’s only a minor detail, but of it’s dvd then it’s not 1080p for the “main feature” (720p ?). And it’s 640 kbps, not 540 I think.

Another thing: the spin (is it how it’s called ?) displays a 3 lines title, which is quite heavy. What about using the same style that was used for the 2001/2006 dvd release ? (with/without the episode number)

…

Ok, just using paint to roughly show you what I have in mind (it’s not at all polished, it’s just an alternative idea based on your cover):

Thank you both for the advice, so here is Round 3:
Blu-ray:

DVD:

EDIT: Added ‘5.1’ to the specs box.

I really like it: sober and efficient, looks great. The episode number is not longer displayed on recent releases so I guess you’re right not to use it on the spine as well.

Hal 9000 said:

Tiny thing: The BR cover doesn’t mention that the audio is 5.1, like the DVD does. But I think it’s arrive otherwise.

I’ve edited it to add 5.1 now.

And now the fourth Hal9000 edit to go on my shelf…

Perhaps an editor’s commentary, if only in the third act?

Don’t need that, his text is sufficient (and here as well: https://humaniterations.net/2016/03/26/how-to-fix-the-force-awakens/)

How does this restructuring help the film?

• The second act centers around the events of Maz’s castle and remains focused on the characters and their struggle to keep the First Order from finding the map to Luke. The First Order catching up to Han and Rey is sufficient motivation for Finn to decide not to leave, without the Hosnian system being destroyed.
• Starkiller Base firing upon the Hosnian system in the third act links it very closely to Kylo Ren’s resolution toward the dark side as he kills Han. Pairing these events magnifies each.
• Han taking a risk motivated by love for his son which brings about costly failure is a dark mirror of Vader doing the same in Return of the Jedi and ending up helping to save the galaxy.
• It alleviates the plot’s very close parallel with the original Star Wars.
• Starkiller Base is depicted as functioning in an intuitive way: it drains the nearby star (or “the Sun,” as Finn describes it), which covers it in darkness, and then fires on the Republic Capitol. Gone are the awkward questions about why the planet was still in daylight when it fired the first time during the second act, and whether the base is mobile.
• It avoids depicting the Hosnian system clearly visible to the naked eye, very large in the sky, from lightyears away. The official Lucasfilm canon answer is that Starkiller Base created a “space-time disruption,” an obvious bandaid answer to apologize for a wanton move on the filmmakers’ part. One wonders whether such intersystem spectacles are common in this world, because no one who witnessed the destruction had the slightest trouble identifying what was happening.
• It avoids raising the question of why the Resistance did not begin evacuating their base during the third act when they know they are the target. In the original Star Wars, the Death Star was looming overhead; here, there’s no obvious reason why they could not have fled.

https://a.pomf.cat/qbgger.png

Here is the STAR DESTROYER special effect that replaced SKB destroying Hosnian Prime from the original movie.

Also Hal, I noticed there are a lot of nitpicky continuity errors with Kylo Ren’s hair/hood in the edited Snoke scene, will this be fixed? No worries.

Additionally, if you make another version, would it be possible to have the STAR DESTROYER move in the sky, even if only at a slow pace?

Ok, I’ve watched a few sequences to see the edits in HD. Very well done and seamless (there is no way to spot it has been fan-edited), the parallel Han’s death/end of the Republic is solid and adds something the theatrical version is lacking (better emotion ?). I haven’t seen continuity errors during Snoke scenes, but I would say there is an untouched scene that should have been altered: after SKB destruction, when they arrive back to the resistance base, people seem too happy considering the Republic has been destroyed just a few minutes ago. The complete landing scene (including Leia hugging unknown Rey while Chewie is in the background walking…) should have been removed; following shot to be “sad Chewie and the others mourning”.

This aside, your edit is a strong step in the right direction, a slight but needed improvement over the theatrical cut. Many things still need to be changed to make it really watchable to my taste (less “yeah !!!”, “youhou !”; no more Han’s lame entrance “we’re home”; less gratuitous fan-service; less failed humor; less lame Leia/Han interaction; less Finn/Phasma interaction and not funny jokes; less Rathnar; no more last Snoke scene “it is time to complete his training”; etc.), so I hope another skilled fan-editor (I’m not) is going to take it from here and improve TFA the best it can be for people like myself who think TFA is the worst SW movie (and by a long shot…). In the meantime, this is the best version available. Until TK251’s v2 I guess ?

By the way Hal I’ve taken the 21 Go file and I’m surprised by the video quality, which is heavily compressed (it’s really noticeable during “dark scenes” such as Snokes; even with daylight interior scenes); an issue which does not appear on your PT edits (this edit weights roughly the same for a 30 minutes longer cut, resulting in a very lower bitrate). I don’t know if it’s feasible but if you happen to have a less compressed file I would very like to keep it in my SW achives (even if it’s a 30/35 Go file). Thanks in advance.

edit: if anyone happens to see things that can be improved with the subtitles (French or English) let me know (I haven’t got enough time to rewatch the film twice to check everything was fine, so there might be a few template lines that could need modifications).