Since it’s one of my greatest pieces yet and doesn’t deserve to fade into obscurity:
“I am on air with Canadian B-actress Lauren Lee Smith. Ms. Smith, you’re a capable actress – why do you so often choose to be in subpar film and television productions?”
“I dunno. Maybe all the bleach and dye jobs I’ve had over the years have wreaked havoc on my brain and royally screwed my ability to discern bad roles from good.”
“I see. Have you anything further to add?”
“Would you care to join me in filming a sex scene for my latest upcoming project?”
“Simulated or non-simulated?”
“Come to the studio and find out.”
