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Post #964172

Author
yhwx
Parent topic
What do you want to happen in the the rest of the ST?
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/964172/action/topic#964172
Date created
5-Jul-2016, 12:09 PM

BillionaireHobo287 said:

LuckyGungan2001 said:

BillionaireHobo287 said:

I know this is all seems trivial to you, but I want to see if I have writing talent. I want to know if the last months of my life thinking about stories were wasted. I mean, come on, I don’t mean to be annoying. I’ll look at as many alligator pictures as you want if you just give the third draft a quick read and a 1-10 rating.

My consensus:

Some okay ideas, hampered by atrocious dialogue and iffy character moments.

How do I improve the dialouge? Why are the character moments iffy? I get the impression that the actors are what makes the dialouge work well. Just look at this line from Revenge of the Sith where Palpatine kills Mace Windu:

PALPATINE
POWER!

It sounds cheesy as hell on paper, but Ian McDiarmid is such a masterful actor that he sells it perfectly. Who the hell just screams out “Power!”?

No, he doesn’t.