It’s good that you’re feeling like the medication increase is helping, and it’s good that your mother sees some advances as well. I know it doesn’t feel like progress when you forget it momentarily and then it comes back, but I really do think you’re making progress, despite how it feels to you. Sometimes you have to let yourself win. Hold yourself accountable, yes, but don’t beat yourself down.

Don’t worry too much about being dependent on medication. A lot of times they’ll give you a high dosage and then start weening you down once you’ve gotten things under control. Medication like this isn’t ever an exact science and your dosage could fluctuate a lot or a little.

I don’t know enough super specific details about your predicament to diagnose you with OCD, but in my experience what you’re experiencing is very close to OCD. And you’ve definitely manifested something if not OCD. It’s okay, we all have our things to manage. I do think that at least consulting with one of those OCD specialists would be a good idea. Bring them your diary and let them read through it and see what they think, and what they suggest.

And just hang in there.