I know it sucks, but the good (and important) thing is you’re doing the work now rather than next year, or five years from now. Don’t beat yourself up about posting here, either. Nobody’s forcing us to be here, haha.
Just as an aside for consideration: See if you can get a referral to an OCD specialist from your current therapist, perhaps? Or maybe do some research and see if you can find one near you (unless your current therapist is!). I would personally bring up the possibility of some Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, because in this modern world it is awfully hard to escape information (as you yourself have found), so it’s best to learn how to deal with triggers as they come up rather than deny them. It’s a very effective treatment in my experience.
If this is OCD. I’m not sure anymore. Just got through a hell of a rough workday in many, many ways, and I was pretty functional (I guess one kind of stress can push the other around), though the compulsions still came on on breaks, and it was such a rough day that my temper started to fray. Overall, though, I’m rather proud of myself for how I handled it. I gave me therapist the journal I’ve been keeping, so we’ll see what he says about that. I’m on the autism spectrum, so while I’ve been previously disagnosed with anxiety and depression, and while I’ve had OCD tendencies, it’s never seemed to manifest as anything like this. It’s certainly possible it developed later in life, much as I’d rather think not. I will ask him about that next session (there’s an issue with my schedule this week, so I have to straighten that out before I set up with him again), and I’m coming up on the two-week mark for th increase in my medicine. I’m going out with the family again tonight, so at least I’m not locked in my bedroom tapping away at my phone.
Seriously though, they came on again on the drive home! This is ridiculously defeatist! Fighting against it is hard, giving in to it hurts! What’s the fucking point? God, help me. I can’t win, and can’t even lose. It just hurts so fucking much.
EDIT: Went out with my brother. At least I got out of the house and some socializing done.
EDIT 2: Didn’t work. Somehow wound up on a video of Christopher Hitchens ranting about circumcision. That was about as mess up as could be.
Oh, and Independence Day: Resurgence is terrible.