The compulsions finally fired up again a few minutes ago. Man, I took my meds today, ate more than usual, saw my therapist, even went for a long walk to try to get the endorphins flowing and get some serotonin from the sunlight, but in the end, I couldn’t fight. God, it’s discouraging. I know, I resisted longer this time, that’s a victory, but it can’t help but feel hollow in light of this. I have to go back to work in a few days. This is not how I wanted to spend my vacation.
I want to thank everyone here for all of your continued kindness and support. This may be an odd way of getting things out or seeking some kind of help, but everyone here has been willing to listen, offer honest advice, and keep believing in me and reminding me how important it is to keep fighting no matter how hard it is, and no matter how pointless it sometimes feels. I should offer up a lot more than Just thanks, which I sadly cannot, but I do offer them all the same. So thanks.