Well, today was one of my worst ever. The compulsions got so bad that I was repeatedly checking an infamous video of Dan Barker getting kicked off of Fox News for being critical of a nativity scene and strongly criticizing Christianity. I’ve seen it at least a dozen times, and the compulsion to keep returning to it worsens every time. He whole point of OCD is that satiating the compulsions makes you temporarily relieved! What is happening?! Yes, I found the wording unpleasant and strong, but who cares? I also made the mistake of looking at the FFRF’s many lawsuits. Which again, is fine. It doesn’t effect me. I’m a firm believer in free speech, and he’s entitled to say those things. Moreover, as I’ve outlined, I’m much more sympathetic with the politics on the opposite side and am not deeply religious. I just don’t get why this is happening to my mind. I’ve outlined my own views on thee issues in previous pages at length. These other viewpoints need to be allowed to be out there, need to be allowed to be said, and I have repeatedly voted in favor of people being allowed to say these things. Yep. I heard that. Why can’t I move on with my life, think about something else, enjoy the things I used to enjoy. I still feel the compulsions even now. It’s insane. It literally controls me. What the hell is happening? My God, I feel like I’m going insane! I can STILL feel the compulsion, even now.