Went to get a blood test today, but apparently you’re supposed to fast beforehand. Oops. I still have the info I need, I guess I’ll do it tomorrow. I’m going to see if they’ll check my thyroid too, can’t figure they’ll say no. It’s worth a shot. My family are really hurt from not being able to help, my mother says she’d take it from me if she could. I’m out with a friend again today for a few hours. I’m trying. I really am.

EDIT: Well, had foood for the first time since last night, only to find out that I have to fast before the test. I know, should be obvious. When I went into the restroom at my buddy’s house, I started to watch some anti-religion videos in the fucking bathroom. I think this is way past the point of being uncontrollable.

EDIT 2: Obsessively started reading about the freedom from religion foundation’s many lawsuits and battles. Man, the compulsions are not only more numerous, but they’re stronger. When things feel like they’re getting worse, it’s hard to imagine that they’ll ever get better. Now I’m on “the damage is done, I can never unread this” feedback loop. It’s just like every time I try to move out of the quicksand, I sink deeper.