For some notes, I think you have to try using the post-ROTJ “A long time ago in a galaxy far,far away…” From ROTJ DeEd 2.5
The crawl reminds me of the GOUT and its horrible aliasing. I suggest trying to make matte lines outlining the text and try to make the crawl shake vertically.
EDIT: And I think you nailed the laserdisc version of the OT.