Yeah, that’s pretty much what I tried earlier (expect for the cut shots in the end) and I think it works way better this way compared to R2s random awakening in the original cut.
While I’m quite content with all the re-structuring I described in my previous post, the one aspect I’m not 100% decided on yet happens to be those final shots of the 2nd scene - because as well as the way I originally outlined how I’d do shots 11, 12, and 13, there’s ALSO a couple of alternative ways that I could use to finish off the very end of the 2nd scene instead.
It’s one of these instances where I’ll decide once I’ve had a chance to edit each of them for comparison, but I’ll describe them for completion’s sake for anyone interested -
1st ALTERNATIVE ending of 2nd scene:
-
…wide shot of C3PO/R2D2/and BB-8 as C3PO says “Come R2…we must go and tell the others at once”…
-
…Leia is mournful with her head bowed in front of a screen, and then turns as C3PO says “General…excuse me, general” (except I’d instead cut the shot HERE once she’s turned, BEFORE we pan across to see R2D2 ‘beeping’ beside C3PO)
(at this point, I’d still TOTALLY DISCARD the shots of C3PO saying “R2D2 may contain some much needed good news”, as Leia then says “Tell me”, and could go directly to the next shot below instead)
- …wide shot of R2D2 beginning to show his ‘holographic’ map section to everyone, as BB-8 rolls towards it, before getting his ‘chip’ off Poe and then slotting his ‘holographic’ map section into R2D2’s map…
OR…2nd ALTERNATIVE ending of 2nd scene:
- …wide shot of C3PO/R2D2/and BB-8 as C3PO says “Come R2…we must go and tell the others at once”…
(at this point I’d TOTALLY DISCARD all the shots of Leia with her head bowed as R2D2 & C3PO appear, and C3PO then says “General…excuse me, general…R2D2 may contain some much needed good news”, as Leia then says “Tell me”, and could go directly to the next shot below instead)
- …wide shot of R2D2 beginning to show his ‘holographic’ map section to everyone, as BB-8 rolls towards it, before getting his ‘chip’ off Poe and then slotting his ‘holographic’ map section into BB-8’s map…
(however, if I don’t end up preferring ANY of these variations once I see them in motion, then I’ll just keep the existing final shots/dialogue of Leia and C3PO as they are - but I reckon I’ll prefer to alter things in one of the 3 ways I’ve described)