Thanks to everyone for their kindness and support. When I think about people fighting addiction or physically disability or trauma or loss, my problems seem to petty. But all the same, they’re what I have. There have been a few ups, and with 14 days of vacation due to me now, hopefully I’ll make progress. I’m calling my prescribing NP and hopefully she’ll be able to adjust my dosage. I hope I’m not looking that as an idealized cure-all, but it’s helped before and hopefully, it’ll help again.

Made it through a work shift today, went out with my friend the other day, took a walk to try to get the endorphins flowing, seeing a shrink, calling about my meds, I am trying. Had another theology OCD slip up, and I’m so tired of it. God, it’s just hard. I am better sometimes, but it’s hard to stay that way. I’ll keep fighting though. And now I can get some rest. But God, it’s hard. Sitting with my dad now though. Family and love sure are nice.

Edit: my dad left, I immediately slipped up. I thought I was finally making progress with this.