Linas Ren walks up the steps and to Ben.
Also, while your script has some good parts, the villains are protrayed as squabling idiots, not at all threatening, and the dialogue is kind of lame, it also seems rushed, and a lot of it is filler.
I try to make the Knights only threatening when the heroes are around, so that their personalities can shine when the heroes are not around. With Captain Phasma, I tried to go full badass though, and I’m not sure if I succeded. I agree with you on the dialogue, especially for Act III.
I would ask for a co-writer for my script(I’m Team Alchemy on Celtx Script), but I think that’s asking too much. I don’t really want to end the treatment because I feel like I flubbed parts of it, and now I can’t get the ending I was planning. I think I’ll only wrap up the Finn side of the story here before commiting to the script. With the script, I can even give BB-8 an emotional moment!
EDIT: To give the treatment some closure, I will say this about it and nothing more. Finn and Phasma have an epic and desperate battle. Eventually, Phasma dies victorious because Finn has become a Dark Jedi.
DOUBLE EDIT: You are welcome to steal some ideas from my 7/10-or-less-in terms-of-quality Episode 8 treatment that I posted here (especially since I don’t own Star Wars), but the script is off-limits mine. Please do post your treatments and scripts here though. No offense, but I though most of the ideas in the first four pages were pretty boring.