You seem like an intelligent, articulate person with a decent philosophy towards life. You have an awareness of what you’re doing and what reality is, you just feel unable to control it. That’s how this thing works. But you sound pretty fed up with it, and this is the perfect time to do what you’re trying to do. You’re also lucky to have such supportive parents, so don’t be afraid to continue being open with them.

The internet is a funny thing in that it can really feed compulsive and addictive behaviors. I see it in my brother a lot, hell I see it in myself and I’m nearly a zero on the OCD spectrum. You just have to be careful with those rabbit holes (which I know is silly to say considering the nature of the affliction), do your best to identify when you’re being driven by compulsion, maybe even keep a record of your rituals for your therapist.

What you need to do is copy what you wrote down up there and read it off to your therapist when you find one. That’s the kind of stuff they like to hear, and it’ll help them to understand you and what’s going on with you. Just go in with an open mind and be willing keep no secrets and to work your ass off. Maybe it’ll take a few tries, but that’s anything in life. You have to keep trying. Look for a psychologist who specializes in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), don’t be afraid of medication, but don’t settle with one that doesn’t work for you, and just generally be active in your therapy.

You can do this because I’ve seen it done before.