Two men appear at Heaven’s Gate and St. Peter asks them how they died:

1: So I come home and I saw my wife naked in bed. I knew immediately what was going on. I started searching around until I found a guy hanging from the balcony butt naked. I took a hammer and smashed his fingers. But somehow, he survived the 3 story fall onto solid concrete! So I threw a fridge at him! But, you know, I am not the youngest, and that was hell of a lot of stress, and my heart coudln’t take it.

St. Peter lets him go to heaven

2: I was doing yoga in my apartment, but it was damn hot, so I decided to strip naked. During one move, I tripped and fell out of my window. I catched the balcony under my apartment, but then some crazy asshole came and smashed my fingers with a hammer. I survived the 3 story fall onto solid concrete in the street, but when a fridge landed on me, that was too much.

St. Peter lets him go to heaven.

P: And what about you?

3: Well, I’m just casually sitting in a fridge…