The puns are fun, but this is some seriously scary stuff for me. I’m worried that I might approaching some sort of breakdown.
I was being serious. If it’s seriously scary, you need to talk to someone. We’re all here to back you up, but we can’t provide much more than platitudes over the internet. You gotta take care of yourself and there is no shame in seeing someone who’s been to school for many years to help someone with your issues.