I want to bury the hatchet between us and gain some real closure.
Closure is a pretty BS notion, to be honest. People always talk about how, if they just had some closure, things would be better. But that’s not usually the case, because generally, the people who are interested that concept thing are people who will use whatever the “closure” entails (be it one last talk, or one last email, or one last whatever the situation calls for) as a glimmer of hope to continue not moving on.
If you see this person again and they acknowledge that you’ve changed and are a better person now, but still want nothing to do with you, are you any more likely to say “well that’s good, I feel better now”? Be honest with yourself.
The thing is, this person has ceased to be a real person in your mind. You’ve built a person-like construct based on rose-tinted memories, taken a snapshot of a person at a certain time in the world and your life and theirs and taped it to a mannequin. The reality is that they’re no longer the same person they were when you knew them, the same as you aren’t.
Point being: don’t look for closure from someone else, because you probably won’t find it. You’ll put your life on hold for years and years until that day comes (if it does) after which, you’ll move the goalposts down the field for the next few years, rinse and repeat. Accept the past (and your past) for what it was and is and continue moving forward. Find closure in yourself, vow “never again”, learn your lesson, whatever you need to do as long as you continue moving forward for yourself, because you only grow when you move forward.
Maybe I sound like a cunt, and maybe I’m speaking to myself more than you, but it’s the truth.
Source: My life right now (hey just because I know the truth doesn’t mean I can’t ignore it, right? =P ).