Thanks for the feedback guys.

And you’re spot on, Kexikus. I actually was thinking that when I went back and read mine. One could write at the beginning of the third paragraph, “Little does Luke know that” or “Yet he remains unaware that” to help transition into the next point, and then cut out “Hunted by the Imperial Starfleet” and just have “After suffering terrible losses” at the beginning to help maintain the word count. The original crawl actually has the whole “Little does Luke know” line so they must’ve been aware of how it felt unconnected.

Luckily it seems like an appropriate crawl for The Force Awakens won’t be as hard to figure out.