@Imhotep: I don’t think that your approach can work story-wise, as Finn goes from leaving to fighting the First Order with no explanation at all. The audience would assume he left after he talks to Rey and later he suddenly returns for no reason.
Thanks for the advice. I went back and watched the whole Maz’s castle sequence and you’re right; the scene with Finn, Han, and Maz is too short for it to work.
Hal’s cut is clearer, and placing the “where’s Rey” scene where Hux’s speech was is good. I wasn’t sure what to do with that jump cut of Rey running through the forest.
Your crawl is good, it seems more coherent. I thought I’d miss the “Luke Skywalker has vanished” line but I prefer your take.
In the “With the Jedi gone…” line it sounds like you’re referring to order 66. I like the tie in with the prequels, just wondering if that’s what you meant?