I know I’m super late with this, but I’ve had this crawl floating around in my head for months now and I’d really like to know what you think about it:

The state of the galaxy
remains in a fragile balance.
The sinister FIRST ORDER has
risen from the ashes of the
Empire and is threatening the
New Republic.

With the Jedi gone and the
government slow to react,
only a small but brave
RESISTANCE, led by General
Leia Organa, stands against
the forces of evil.

Desperate for help, Leia has
sent her most daring pilot on
a secret mission to Jakku,
where an old ally has
discovered a clue to the
whereabouts of the last Jedi…

My goal was to get it in line with the other crawls in that it starts with the galactic situation and then focuses more and more on the main characters and what’s going to happen. That’s why I removed the “Luke Skywalker has vanished.” line even though I really like it.
I’ve also been thinking about including that SKB is a Sith weapon but in the end I decided against it. Wouldn’t be hard to add that to the first paragraph though.
Earlier I also had “young Republic” instead of “New Republic”, but I wanted to add the New and “young New Republic” sounds weird.

And I think I got the first line from someone in this thread, but I don’t have the time to check who it was right now.

Let me know what you think.