Luke and Chewie as a gay couple.
Han returns from the dead as a zombie, tells Kylo Ren “You killed your father. Prepare to die.” and then eats his brains.
Carrie Fisher shows that beauty knows no age by wearing the slave bikini again.
Rey gets torn up by Finn’s big black “lightsaber,” has to train with the force to learn how to walk again.
Hayden Christensen returns as emo Vader’s emo ghost to give emo Kylo emo advice about how to be more whiny and brooding in order to resist the light side.
Jake Lloyd returns as annoying child Anakin ghost, blows up Death Star IV accidentally at the climax of the movie with a little help from Jar Jar Binks