One of the biggest problems with fanedits is that they can feel jarring and out of place, especially when we know how the movie is ‘supposed’ to play out. The Dooku appearance feels like that, but I think that the shots themselves are actually very well done. The trouble, as you said, is that we are essentially foreshadowing two evil characters at once. I’d suggest that the shots be reordered.
First, remove Dooku from the opening shot.
After ‘You will be a Jedi’, cut to the excellent panning shot of Palpatine, since he is already going to ‘watch [Anakin’s] career with great interest’
Then have the Jedi talking about the master and apprentice, and after this exchange have the opening shot duplicated and zoomed in, so that it slowly pans to the right and shows Dooku, and then shows him walking away.

It also seems strange that the big ending isn’t included. I wonder if the music could be changed to something grander, and simply have the entire scene dialogue free.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Again, really good work on the Dooku shots.