I’m not a huge fan of “nightmare” sequences, and I’m not sure it is really needed. The diner scene is improved without the line mentionning Obi-Wan (that’s way Anakin is no longer always talking about his boss to the girl he’s hitting on), but I think there is a way you could trim the floating fruit part: on the wide shot the fruit is not in Padmé’s dish, so you could start directly with Anakin slicing the pear and “Force sending” a slice to Padmé’s fork. There is no dialogue and barely no sound effets, so I guess the tricky part would be to cut down the score.

(sorry I can’t right now try to show a rough cut of the montage I have in mind based on your edit, still haven’t got much time lately to seriously learning how to use premiere pro)