Just wanted to let any concerned parties that today I went into treatment for alcoholism/substance abuse/depression/anxiety/generallybeingadebbiedowner. It’s outpatient (obviously, or else I wouldn’t be posting here). Whether or not I will completely stop drinking/smoking pot is not yet clear, but I probably will have to. But at the very least I want to get to where it doesn’t completely run my life. At least to where I don’t have to have a couple drinks and a puff to go out in public, to work, to see my friends, etc. Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not the “embarassing drunk” or stoner who walks around incoherently babbling, I just take a little to relax and face the day, but I’m tired of the cycle. I’ve been getting concerned comments from my coworkers lately about my appearance, that I appear tired, my eyes are baggy/glazed over/red. None of them said that I’ve been acting intoxicated, but I think with my appearance they are starting to put two and two together. In a concerned way, not a judgmental way. At least so far.

I haven’t drank or smoked so far today, (it’s about 1:30 PM where I live) and while I don’t feel cranky or irritable I don’t feel very good either. I feel really anxious and nervous, and somewhat sick to my stomach.