Octorox said:
I would like to add something that mentions that the Chancellor is sort of in a tenuous place and is fearing the crisis blowing up could be the final straw that ends his political career, but there’s only so much space.
The rolling scrawl doesn’t need to contain too much information, just the pieces to set the plot in motion are needed. Moreoever your statement about Valorum is not really true since his position is not in real jeopardy until Amidala shows up and calls for a vote of confidence against him (he’s not that a bad Chancellor, he has even sent Jedi knights to settle things right). You should stick to Hal’s version for this paragraph I reckon (imho, of course !).
(by the way, maybe you should start your own thread, “Octorox Redux Prelogy” ?)