It’s still to small scale a bit like the Jedi crawl.
The first paragraph shouldn’t be about characters at all.
It should set the political scene and then the military stakes.
The lead players should be mentioned in the second paragraph
and then the third should lead into the first scene of the movie.
Thank you for this observation!
Here (please excuse the quality) is my mock attempt again. I also removed ALL CAP words since apparently only even numbered episode titles have that.
Again, just a mock test. Mainly, I was trying to setup a template for Star Wars crawls in After Effects, and it seems okay. Yes, the blue far, far away text is too big, will fix later.