Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the sinister
FIRST ORDER has risen
from the ashes of the Empire
and will not rest until Skywalker, the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.
General Leia Organa, leader of the RESISTANCE,
struggles to gain support from the REPUBLIC
to oppose those that seek chaos.
Fearing the fate of the galaxy,
she is desperate to find Luke in order to restore peace and justice.
Ace pilot of the Resistance, Poe Dameron, is sent on
a secret mission to Jakku, where an old ally
has discovered the possible whereabouts of
the last Jedi . . . .
Bolded parts are the lines I changed. The original crawl had too much “Luke”, it should had made clearer that the Republic isn’t really being supportive of Leia’s Resistance, and it was lackluster in some areas. With this crawl, I wanted more impact and tension expressed. For one, I put “the last Jedi” at the end for more impact and leaves more surprise/shock that Luke is the last Jedi afterall (since one would assume that Luke would had trained Jedi during these 30 years); thus it’s the last line. To limit some redundant names in the crawl, I took out Leia sending a daring pilot and instead just threw in Poe.
For adding some spice, Leia is in desperate need of help, so in order to express that, I removed “With the support of the REPUBLIC” since that implies Leia is backed up with some major help. I’m not sure why the original crawl says the Republic is supporting the Resistance if Leia states in the movie how the Republic’s senate is too slow to get anything done and even sent a negotiator in hopes to convince the Republic to send its fleet for aid.
Overall, my aim was to trim, make some things clearer, and add more tension.
Thoughts?