I do like the revised crawl above. Though it is a decent amount of exposition, it feels necessary. The movie itself, in my opinion, does not offer sufficient explanation of the political situation. First time I watched Force Awakens, I was confused why there was a need to separate the Resistance and the Republic. With a crawl like this, I wouldn’t have been.

Also, the theatrical thread might have started too specifically by having Luke Skywalker be the first topic. Star Wars crawls generally start on bigger topics (A PERIOD OF CIVIL WAR) before growing smaller and smaller to finally naming characters. Methinks the theatrical crawl will just get hokier and hokier upon reviewing.