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The Force Awakens : Fan Edit Ideas — Page 2

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daneditor said:

I loved the opening scenes on Jakku - but the scene with the tentacle monsters feels like it belongs in a different (and less good) movie. I’d like to see it cut entirely. It’s just a question of whether Rey would have returned immediately to Jakku if the CGI monster scene/emergency hyperspace jump hadn’t happened.

Honestly they looked like a cross between the Matrix’s sentinels and something you’d see in Men in Black. What actually bothered me beyond the CGI monsters was that I felt they wasted Han’s “Come on baby, don’t let me down” line while a CGI monster was clinging onto the Falcon. Yeah, ESB callback, but… it really was unnecessary.

I’ve only seen this film once, but I’m inclined to agree that it’d be difficult to edit that scene without screwing something up in the story.

Edit: Perhaps an edit that would be nice is if Snoke’s hologram looked… like a Star Wars hologram. I’m not quite sure I buy, even 30 years later, that holograms can look too real.

The Rise of Failures

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I didn’t like that R2D2 was powered down because he was depressed about Luke going into exile…then wakes up suddenly for no apparent reason…

If they wanted a dramatic emotional push to his part in the story then they could have said R2 was severely damaged on a mission and since he is over 50 years old (he was Padme’s droid 20 years before Leia) those parts are impossible to get for his series of astromech. But since he has such sentimental value to Leia she couldn’t just get rid of him so they put a tarp over him until they can figure out how to fix him if its possible. That was over 30 years ago. All of this explained by C3PO. Then we see BB-8 go over to him and is blown away because this is R2D2! THE R2D2 who helped take down TWO Death Stars and saved Princess, now General Leia’s life on many occasions. This guy is a LEGEND among droids particularly the astromechs. This is his freakin hero and he has GOT to fix this dude! He makes an attempt then blips and bloops at him and nothing happens but a lone blinking light…sad, BB-8 rolls away and we cut to the rest of the flick, Han dies, the Death Star implodes and back at home base R2 comes back online! Turns out he has the map of the jedi temples from the last time he was on the Death Star and BB-8 has the missing piece and YAY!! We can find Luke now!

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TOWNE32 came up with an excellent idea over on the REVIEW thread.
(http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Force-Awakens-Official-Review-Thread-SPOILERS/id/46786/page/18#888866)

Remove the destruction of the Republic homeworld to the final battle at the end. Essentially this would be a much more important target than the Resistance base - so the stakes and rushed plan would still be important. The Resistance’s failure would provide a much more bittersweet ending.

If you wonder why the republic fleet isn’t involved - perhaps they are too far away to arrive in time - or otherwise engaged.

Perhaps the destruction of Starkiller itself might be as a result of its use. Maybe it is designed for just one shot - so the convenient destruction by X-wings could be avoided completely.

I wonder how essential the planetary shield plotline is? Could they just be undertaking a rescue mission? Chrome head could be abducted to just find out where Rey is - only for the heroes to find out she has escaped.

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Hey, thanks for liking the idea. As I said, I think I’ll always enjoy the real cut for this film, but these things are fun anyway.

I think the execution of this idea is really going to depend on the bonus material we get. Using only the scenes we have, the best we would get from this idea is a compelling ‘draw’ where both sides sort of lose at the end. It will differentiate it from ANH, but that’s about it.

If we get anything more from Hosnian Prime, though, we will really be able to use the ending to put the Republic in a state of despair (that presumably it is indeed in), at the end of this film.

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That’s actually an excellent idea.

I’d also consider deleting the Hosnian destruction entirely. It isn’t important for the plot (as far as I can remember) and the fact it can be seen from Takodana as well as the overall poor visuals of the destruction (it was made to look like the planets were all orbiting each other) really damaged my enjoyment of the movie.

Other elements of the movie that folks are unhappy about bothered me a lot less than this.

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Possessed said:

Honestly the only changes I would make are some subtle trims to a few bits of humor that felt unnecessary to me. And that’s not even all the humor. Other than that I thought it was pretty much fantastic.

You sir are spot on.

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Only thing I would change is adding in the 20th century fox logo/fanfare at beginning. The rest was just what was needed to restart this franchise.

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Codeman said:

Possessed said:

Honestly the only changes I would make are some subtle trims to a few bits of humor that felt unnecessary to me. And that’s not even all the humor. Other than that I thought it was pretty much fantastic.

You sir are spot on.

i also agree with this as well. As far as the destruction of the Hosnian (sp?) system goes, i would also have to agree that it would be better served as happening at the end of the movie.

the only other things i would change are some of the unnecessary call backs, such as Leia mentioning the death star. some of these moments seemed a bit forced (no pun intended).

i would also have to agree with the R2D2 bits. there is absolutely no reason for him to come out of his robot depression. instead just have him be asleep for the entire movie until the end when they need him. you could even keep the lines from 3P0, telling BB8 that R2 is in low power mode. then when they walk away he wakes up revealing that he does in fact have the rest of the map and can help.

“You can’t polish a turd. But you can shape it to look like candy.”

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What about a new “Grind house” edit… a third “War of The Stars” using this movie as the base instead of the OT i personally think it would be a lot of fun to watch h

Now, May That There Force Be with y’all… Ya Hear.

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Someone should suggest that to TMBTM. 😃

Forum Moderator

Where were you in '77?

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I just PM’d him… but I’m sure I’m not the first one to have this idea.

Now, May That There Force Be with y’all… Ya Hear.

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I don,t think he was powered down because he was “depressed”, what i took from it was that he was powered down by Luke until s new Jedi (Rey) showed up to preserve the secret of where he was to keep the wrong people from finding him. granted that’s just how i saw it, it may not be the correct interpretation.

Now, May That There Force Be with y’all… Ya Hear.

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This is an official, rather botched, explanation of why R2D2 powered up.

The Rise of Failures

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I would add the Touchstone and 20th Century Fox logos (complete with fanfare for the latter) for the opening and after the credits.

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I think I’d prolly consider making it less a sequel and more a reboot, because that’s what it really felt like to me.

"Right now the coffees are doing their final work." (Airi, Masked Rider Den-o episode 1)

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I expected someone to have mentioned making Kylo Ren’s lineage into a surprise, and perhaps his face reveal as-well but that would be a lot more work. That said I’m not bothered by how it is now.

Han & Leia’s awkward conversation could do with some trimming. In-particular the “dealt with it in our own way” stuff came off very unnatural to me.

Something should be done about Maz Kanata’s scenes. A few things rubbed me the wrong way. Specifically when she’s talking to Rey after she has the flashback/forward. She goes on about the force and I felt that we have no reason to believe her authority on the subject… then Rey abruptly declares she wants nothing to do with it and flees after taking her hand, listening and crying etc. I laughed out loud in the theater.

I almost wanted the movie to end on the shot of Rey holding out the saber but you kinda need the music to swell fully so I’m not sure if that’s possible.

The RLM guys spoke about including more explanation of the backstory of the new republic and first order in the crawl. A complaint I keep hearing is the confusion of ‘how did we get here?’ The existing crawl could possibly be condensed into a single paragraph. Something like:

“Luke Skywalker has vanished. His sister, General Leia Organa of the RESISTANCE, has sent her most daring pilot on a secret mission to Jakku, where an old ally has discovered a clue to Luke’s whereabouts…”

With 2 paragraphs dedicated solely to describing how the first order and the new republic came to be in a little more detail.

“In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the ashes of the Empire” almost makes it seem like it’s Luke’s fault The First Order exists at all…

Regarding the alien smuggling, I don’t mind it, as the creature design feels Star Wars-y to me. One thing that might help though is cutting out Rey running around wondering where Finn has gone. It’s a stretch to believe that they haven’t just eaten him outright like all the pirates so she should find and use the door panel a little bit sooner. Although it might have a side effect of making her seem even more capable.

What I didn’t get about the trash compactor joke is that we don’t get to see what they actually did with Phasma, and she’s appearing in the next installment so it’ll appear to be an oversight when she starts ruining their day in the next one that they didn’t follow through on killing her when they had the chance.

Rey and Kylo hold the sabers against each other for way too long at the end of their battle. I don’t know how it could be mended considering that she kinda needs to have that force insight moment? But I guess if you make it seem as if she is losing and then the fissure break up the battle?

Remove the rope tied to the TIE Fighter idea. I thought this was ridiculous. It would make more sense if there is no security measure at all because
A) It’s a rope tied to the damn thing, this is future-space-past after all
B) He disengages it from on-board the fighter anyway!
Cutting it back to them just shooting the place up a bit before speeding off would be better imo.

I felt better about the music the second time I saw it. No lightsabers should be changed imo. I don’t think removing many character moments with the new cast would improve things. I like your ideas nightstalkerpoet. If you remove the planet destruction completely then it makes even less sense that there is no order at all in the galaxy after RotJ, it wouldn’t be a threat etc.

Really Cheesy PT Sig
“No, it’s because I’m so in love with you.” Cue laugh track

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Are we sure that wasn’t a fuel line? We’ve seen X-Wings plugged into such things.

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Where were you in '77?

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TavorX said:

This is an official, rather botched, explanation of why R2D2 powered up.

I feel like they’re trying to avoid discussion of who Rey might be.

spaint said:

That’s actually an excellent idea.

I’d also consider deleting the Hosnian destruction entirely. It isn’t important for the plot (as far as I can remember) and the fact it can be seen from Takodana as well as the overall poor visuals of the destruction (it was made to look like the planets were all orbiting each other) really damaged my enjoyment of the movie.

I get what you’re saying. While it might be an okay idea for a standalone film, I have a feeling it will never mesh with VIII. Hopefully the Hosnian destruction is dealt with better in that one than it was in this.

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I feel a lack of explanation to why it was important to find Luke Skywalker. Sure Leia wants to, but Leia can’t waste their meager resources on a personal quest. What would motivate them better would be, however, if it was made clear that the main threat in the story is associated with the Dark Side and that they need someone trained in The Force to deal with it.

One thing I have seen proposed in review threads is that the Starkiller Base would be not a new construction - but an ancient lost Sith artifact.
That would not only provide motivation for finding Luke Skywalker but also explain how The First Order could have got something that massive operational in secret and why Kylo Ren (a dark-side Force user) needed to be on it.

I think that the idea of the Starkiller Base firing at Hosnian Prime after the Resistance has started attacking it is a great idea. Having the Rebels lose the main objective would break up the story being such a mirror of A New Hope.
Having the superweapon be a one-shot “doomsday weapon” that would destroy itself would also help explain why Han, Chewie and Finn don’t encounter that much resistance on it.
It being secret would make it more plausible why the New Republic has not mobilized against it.
If the Republic did not know about it / being operational, it would provide Finn with a stronger reason for defecting and reach the Resistance: To warn them.

Other things already on my personal list are:

  • Lots of people have complained about the Falcon taking too much of a beating when Rey flies it on Jakku.
    When the Millenium Falcon is bouncing against the ground, add a shimmering effect to make it appear like there is a deflector shield protecting it against the worst hits.
  • Cut the shots of Finn using a lightsaber against Stormtrooper with lightsaber-deflecting baton. It should not be that easy for him to use it.
  • Cut or shorten the shot with the chasm appearing right between the beaten Kylo Ren and Rey. It is too convenient and it looks fake. (I heard that in the novelization, Rey chooses to spare Kylo Ren’s life because the dark side has tempted her to kill him. There may be an alternate take with that theme being stronger on the BR).
  • The ignition sound of the Skywalker lightsaber has been reported to be wrong.
  • Take the opening theme from another movie’s soundtrack. People think it sounds weak compared to The London Symphony Orchestra.
  • Make Han shout “Jacen” instead of “Ben”. 😉
  • Max Landis (accomplished script writer and vlogger) has proposed that Kylo Ren would be self-destructive after killing his father, and should taunt Finn and Rey in the duel by shouting: “Come on: Kill Me!”
    (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdEIzRUos4g)
  • Cut the whole bit with the Rathars… It seems to me like it was put there only to be able to make a reference to Indiana Jones.
  • Make the Starkiller fire one beam that hits one planet. Having the beams split up, each beam homing in on a different planet is just too implausible, over-the-top … It looks fanboyish. (That is, if it is going to fire at all)
  • Cut many of Domhmnal Gleason’s lines. He sounds like too much like a nazi, too much like a character in a fan-film.
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My main edit would be to cut the bit where Kylo takes his helmet off while torturing Rey. So the reveal that he is just a twisted young man and not in need of the mask like the grandfather he hero worships would be made just before Han’s death.

I would have Artoo power up in the presence of the lightsaber.

In the theatrical cut he just waits until the end of the film… for reasons.
He should have some sort of trigger to get him awaken.

I would have had Rey find the sword in a wrecked Star Destroyer, it is being shipped to Palpatine as a trophy when the ship gets caught up in the battle. Maybe it had a secret that Anakin had discovered or Ben had hidden for Luke to find like in the early script of ESB.

I would either have Jaku Tatooine because it’s just too similar or have it what Endor became after all that space junk fell from the sky. It’s remamed Jaku because of the price of victory being so bitter for both sides.

The other flaws in the film are impossible to fix (specifically the cynical reuse of plot points from ANH, the criminal under use of some characters). The performances, direction and design of the film are spot on.

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First post here, saw the movie last night and has been thinking about some things I would rewrite and/or edit. My random thoughts on plotlines and characters:

  1. Luke tried to train new Jedis but it went sour, Luke had to go in hiding.

  2. The Dark Side is making a comeback ( as a result of Lukes failure) and the peaceful republic is in danger. Since the Empire was destroyed in Return of the Jedi, the republic should be in peacetime so logically the Dark Force troops would be the ones that are organizing a resisting uprising and not the republic.

  3. Han Solo and Leia had a son, Kylo Ren / Ben, but they lost him. They also ended their relationship and are not on speaking terms any more. They should be just as grumpy as they used to be.
    Strained relations between characters was a key element of the original trilogy

  4. There is a new “unknown” Jedi in the making but she needs Luke to train her.


  • Kylo Ren is good but could be even better if he grew some credibility as the movie moves along. He should kick of the movie with a small but dangerously powerful gang making some evil deeds. During the film he should be struggling with the Force and ends up gaining strength. As son of Han and Leia he could have been originally kidnapped OR part of the Jedi training that went wrong.

  • The Republic should not be resisting anyone in the beginning but Princess Leia (not general as it is a time of peace) is trying to warn politicians of the republic that something is wrong. Ofcourse Kylo Ren later makes an elaborate attack on the core of the republic and has everything crumbling into pieces once again.
    That is when Leia puts on the General cap and pick up the fight. I would much prefer her being more of a hard edged type like she was in ANH and ESB. She does not have to be a nostalgic grandma just because she is older. Neither does Han.

  • Finn is one of the first of the new stormtroopers in the Dark Side gang but on that first mission he gets in trouble and decide to flee rather than battle.
    That is a really potent setting but he does not have to have lightsaber fights to show his abilities.

  • Rey’s charachter could have more weight if it was less an echo of Luke and Anakin but more of a complex Han Solo type. And yes I find it odd that she is so suddenly able to use the force later on. Instead of being a poor scavenger in the beginning she could steal the role of Unkar Plutt (and even Watto from Phantom Menace) and be an opportunist scrapdealer that needs to learn moral values and the force but already posess a bit of knowledge about her supernatural abilities. She might be equally torn about what to do as Han Solo was in th eold days. Nevertheless Rey is the best thing that happened to Star Wars since A New Hope. The combination of her, Finn and BB-8 is amazingly good.

  • The escape with the Millenium Falcon was really cool and also the meetup with Han Solo. Classy element of surprise there. Chewbacca could perhaps have showed up in a different place just to switch some things around.

  • Maz Kanata is kind of Yoda:ish in charachter but somehow she seems a bit useless and the whole Mos Eisly copycat bar scene is just non-original. Can we delete this. Yes I think we can. Her voice is also non-fitting.
    CUTS

  • Lets get rid of the third death star and the overly epic multi-destruction of the planets. Star Killer Base?.. come on. It’s another death star and it does not hold up for a third time. Let’s blow up something else or think of something completely different this time.

  • I was not convinced by the boring, stereotypical hero Poe and would just leave him on the cutting room floor. Mr. Best Damn Pilot is just not interesting enough.

  • The Pirates gangs that are after Han Solo are from Mad Max and could stay there.

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Why?

Digitally change the lightsaber to make it Luke’s Lightsaber. The green one.

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Molly said:

I think I’d prolly consider making it less a sequel and more a reboot, because that’s what it really felt like to me.

I’d love to hear how someone could accomplish that.

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For those who are bothered by the similarities to ANH (I’m not one of them), what about having the charges Han and Chewie set blow up the oscillator (and the planet), rather than the charges just damaging it and Poe finishing the job? Would get rid of the trench run too.

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Obviously I would like TMBTM to continue making 30s Style silent episodes. The score for TFA is the least memorable of any Star Wars film but he has mixed them a bit before.