Yours is much better. It flows whereas the original is choppy.
Post #888224
- Author
- DuracellEnergizer
- Parent topic
- Rewritten Crawl for The Force Awakens
- Link to post in topic
- https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/888224/action/topic#888224
- Date created
- 21-Dec-2015, 3:17 AM