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Post #886750

Author
Smoking Lizard
Parent topic
Episode VII: The Force Awakens - Discussion * SPOILER THREAD *
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/886750/action/topic#886750
Date created
17-Dec-2015, 11:13 AM

I really don’t want to sound argumentative or terribly cynical, and I understand that so many fans really want to like this movie, but seriously, I have to say, at this point, knowing what we know how can anyone suggest this movie is good?

I wonder at times if everyone in society has collectively lost his mind.

This movie is clearly a cheap ripoff. A con. A money grab. A bait and switch.

  • The Empire was defeated in the original trilogy. No problem! We have a new, improved empire! Complete with an evil guy in black robes, scary mask, and red light saber!

  • You like cool stormtroopers? Snowtroopers? WE GOT 'EM! The Empire 2.0 has got oodles of stormtroopers!

  • How did the Republic allow the Empire 2.0 to come into existence? Who cares! It’s a movie! Please don’t answer, “How did the original empire come into existence?” Because the answer is simple – a corrupt politician seized the existing legal republican government, a la Adolf Hitler, that’s how. So did the new Republic make the same mistake? No, because the new Republic still exists in this new universe. So WTF? Oh well…who needs things to make sense?

  • So we have a cute, plucky little beachball droid carrying a secret message being hunted by the bad guys. Uh, wait…isn’t that just a straight, cheap ripoff?

  • So we have an Force-sensitive, unknown orphan who grew up on an entirely desert planet who is unaware of her vast potential. Um, hello? Again, cheap ripoff copycat?

  • By the way, I thought even Force-sensitives had to be TRAINED to use the Force before they can?

  • So the Empire 2.0 has stormtroopers, but they’re not clones…and they’re not conscripts or recruits. So the Empire 2.0 breeds them? From birth? So the Empire 2.0 has some vast wing of babies being birthed to become stormtroopers somewhere? How else do you explain that “Finn” does not have a name?

  • Why is it that in a galaxy populated by trillions of people, we keep bumping into the same four or five over and over, no matter where we go? And the same goes for spaceships, too. How awfully convenient that the Millenium Falcon just happens to be on the desert planet that Rey is on? And how awfully convenient that Han Solo decides it’s a good idea to take back ownership of the Falcon at the age of, what, 70?

  • So the Empire 2.0 has an even bigger, badder Death Star. It blows up stars! But it’s on a planet…so it cannot travel from place to place in the galaxy…so it shoots its laser or plasma or whatever blasts from light years away and the blast travels and travels and travels across the galaxy to hit its target? What does the laser blast make the jump to hyperspace itself to get to its target in due time?

  • I mean, really? The Death Star thing all over again? Really? And somehow the First Order/Empire 2.0 is capable of making a weapon even more powerful that the Death Stars, despite the fact that it’s not the ruling government of the entire galaxy?!

  • And really, like, say, 10 or 20 years before this movie is set there was NO ONE in the Republic saying, “Hey, guys! A bunch of copycats are restarting the Empire! They’re building star destroyers and TIE fighters and maybe a planet killing machine thing! We need to stop them!”?!

  • And really, Rey thinks the Jedi and all that jazz is “legend.” Um, hello? That war was only 30 years ago! That would be like saying the events of 1985 are just perceived as “legends” today in 2015. Please. Yeah, WWII was just a legend. Right.

  • SURPRISE! The bad guy is Han and Leia’s son! Wow! Never saw that coming! What a huge reveal!

  • Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Academy is wiped out, SO HE LEAVES?!? GOES INTO HIDING?! When there’s a perfectly safe Resistance planet he could have gone to to help out in the fight?! Don’t tell me Obi Wan went into hiding, because he didn’t. He took Luke to safety on Tatooine and then guarded over him because he knew that the only person who could possibly sway Darth Vader back to the light was Vader’s son.

  • Leia gets word that there’s a lead as to where her brother is…so she sends her best PILOT to collect the intel? Yeah, because when there’s important information to be collected in Iraq or Syria or Russia, President Obama sends his best F-16 pilot.

  • Han Solo: “Hey, Finn, I hear you have some really important information to get to Leia. I mean, we could just, you know, do one of those video chats that we do all the time, but, nah. We’ll go there in person. In the Millenium Falcon. BUT FIRST! We have to make a pitstop at a bar in a castle so you can meet my old Force sensitive mentor!” Finn: “But Han! In the first movie released in 1977, you told Obi Wan that you didn’t believe in the Force! That you had traveled from one end of the galaxy to the other and just concluded it was just ‘simple tricks and nonsense.’” Han: “Um…oh yeah.”

Stupid. Effing stupid. Completely cheap and stupid. Insulting to the intelligence. There should a huge public outcry. Outrage! Instead? 99% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes!