I never graduated from high school, the one and only job I ever had was for less than six months back in 2008, I suffer from social anxiety disorder, and my mathematical comprehension’s at a fifth grade level, if that. I don’t have what it takes to make it on my own yet.
I’m putting this out here rather than a PM because there may be others in similar situations as yourself.
I don’t know if you read what I wrote earlier on the emotional problems thread but I’d urge you to go back there and read it even if you aren’t in emotional distress : http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Place-to-Go-for-Emotional-Support/id/17350/page/13
You say that your current unhappiness is largely down to the state of your home.
Break down what needs to be done into smaller and smaller processes until you have a thing that you could do right away or very soon.
If you rent your home use the internet to find out what the legal responsibilities the property owner has and get them to live up to those responsibilities.
If you own your home or your home owner isn’t living up to their responsibilities to you, document the current state of the problem with photographs.
If you have any local friends or family that are contemplating giving you anything for Christmas direct them to give you money, supplies or help to repair your home.
Either get a repairman in and keep the receipts if you intend to bill your landlord or use the internet to gain the skills to repair the problem yourself (these skills may come in handy getting paid employment in the future so contemplate any training schemes along these lines you could do in the future).
If you ruminate on the state of your home and how that makes you feel, you will feel worse. The act of doing anything is self empowering. It takes your mind off of what is upsetting you and takes you in a direction towards being contented.
Work towards the outer limits of your anxiety levels don’t try to run beyond them but edge nearer away from them and you will find your genuine psychological boundaries will expand albeit slowly.
In the short term imagine the best your current home could be and then break it down until you can identify a step you can do right away. I suggest the doors would be a key priority as winter is coming and you want to feel secure and keep warm.
Take care and let us know how you get on.