And who knows, if in the meantime I find a good enough reason to live life, I can quit then.
Here’s where your basic pessimistic outlook on life may actually help. Sure, you can imagine a happy shiny world where you find a reason to live, cut way the hell back on your drinking in time to save your liver, and live happily ever after. You can even image a not-so-shiny world where you fail to find a reason to live, your liver fails, and you’re no longer bound to this mortal coil. But you know what would be decidedly un-shiny? What would be the worst possible thing? You find a reason to live, but you also find out that your liver is shot and you’re not long for the life you’ve grown to love. Now, I’m not actually trying to be heavyhanded here–as a lifelong pessimist, I really can’t help but see things certain ways. Consider your options carefully and completely. Please.