Christmas is coming so call this an Off-topic greetings card.
I can only speak from experience and anyone who has read my postings on here enough will know I have a not too easy life but it has been much worse in the past.
One thing that made it better for me and maybe it will work for others here was accepting I cannot control others.
This is an ongoing project as I too frequently forget this but generally now I offer help, I remind people that I am willing to help when possible but I try not to push help on people or get overly frustrated when my offers of help are rejected.
Other people are not us and we can’t ‘fix’ people.
By extension we shouldn’t feel blame or anger when other people don’t seem to take steps to change for the better or more pressingly when they don’t fit our dreams or expectations.
We can however fix ourselves.
A rather useful technique is to get a sheet of paper and sketch out you living your ideal world. All the things you would like to do, all the things you would prefer to feel, any skills you would like to have even material things you might want to own. Any states of relationship or friendship you would like to have. It doesn’t have to be an amazing work of art, write on it if you have to.
Then pick one of those things, just one.
Try and break down the steps it would take to get to that one point on the drawing no matter how ambitious to increasingly more and more practical stages until you get to one simple action taking into account any obstacles that might hold you back.
For example if one of the items on your drawing was you living in your own home one thing that might hold you back could be finances. Maybe you don’t earn enough money to live independently, so maybe a different job (or in my case any job) would give you more financial security. Maybe you need to train to get a better paid job, looking at the sort of jobs that pay better you may be able to identify a single skill that you don’t have that is affordable to obtain.
So your simple task would be to identify one skill and find out about how to get that skill as cheaply as possible. Write down that task and three weeks later see if you have fulfilled it. If not don’t beat yourself up keep trying until you do. Then move up the scale to maybe saving for or enrolling in a class or internet course. Write that down and three weeks later see if you have progressed.
Most goals can be broken down into simple early steps that can be progressed from beyond the example I have just given.
Extensive studies have shown that while genetics and social position (money, class etc) play a part in mental well being the most significant motor for mental health is psychological. When people lack hope or direction and are left to ruminate, whatever situation they are in will seem unmovable and permanent when it isn’t necessarily so.
The same is true with behaviours that we probably already know aren’t doing us any good like drinking or eating too much. You don’t have to go cold turkey on everything society considers to be a vice but if you pick one or two activities that don’t take you to a the best of places and maybe only indulge them on alternate days or once a week. And maybe redirect the money and effort you would have spend doing them in something else that is a bit more rewarding it would at least be pointing your life in what you define to be the right direction.
This here app has been drawn to my attention: http://appstore.liv.ac.uk/catch-it/ It might not be useful for everyone but it is free and a tool for helping you look at your mood and maybe contextualising it and redirecting it in a more positive direction.
I think we have all been in a situation a bit like Warb’s when something is broken by accident or there is some sort of domestic nonsense going on. I think you can indulge yourself in a bit of venting, apologise to witnesses, see if you can do anything to take some of the hurt out of the situation (Warb did this with lampshade) in some way and then see what you can learn from the experience. Maybe when hanging the Christmas decorations delicate objects could be taken to a place of safety first. Or the decorations could be hung in such a way as to avoid these items. It’s a family home and a family holiday so involving the whole family in planning might be something for next year.
As for feeling the world has gone mad. My only response to that is try and get a bit of cultural and historical perspective by visualising yourself in another time or another place in the history of the world.
I assure you everybody in history has thought the world used to make sense but it’s going down hill at some point.
It goes back to what I was saying earlier. You can’t fix other people. You can’t make people want you or make people stop poisoning themselves with booze or stop yelling at you. You can’t stop people killing each other or stop people from being a-holes. Trying will just add to your frustrations and make you feel powerless and miserable.
You have power, over your own life. It’s yours and you deserve to be at least contented but if happiness is a luxury, treat yourself. It’s nearly Christmas 😃