Apparently this wasn’t meant to be “ridiculous,” but I’m stealing it anyway, given that it fits what I’ve done so far.
Just had a random thought about “Revenge of the Sith” today. Rather than Palpatine saying to Vader that “in your anger, you killed Padme,” he could have said “I’m afraid she left you for Obi-Wan.”
Not sure if the dialogue exists but I can probably cobble together something similar.