logo Sign In

Post #80459

Author
oojason
Parent topic
Jokes thread : Reloaded
Link to post in topic
https://originaltrilogy.com/post/id/80459/action/topic#80459
Date created
1-Dec-2004, 8:56 PM
^ lol




I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole 'Women from Venus and Men from Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do".

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. The passion starts to heat up... and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??..What was that?" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man!" She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed dept store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different, very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewellery dept, where she picked up a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you....she was soooo excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me, because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all I'd like, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like it". Her face just went completely blank, as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT??" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while...........You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman". And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight either...