Entry 11.5

[MORNING. MY MISTRESS SITS IN AN ARMCHAIR BY THE WINDOW. TRAY IS ATTACHED TO THE ARMS OF THE CHAIR IN FRONT OF HER, A PLATE OF FOOD ON TOP. MOST THE FOOD IS CUT UP INTO FINE PIECES OR MASHED INTO SLUDGE, BECAUSE HER GUMS ARE ALMOST TOO SENSITIVE FOR CHEWING.]

[SHE MAKES DISGUSTING NOISES AS SHE SLURPS SLOP FROM A SPOON. SOMEONE PLEASE DEACTIVATE ME.]

BASTILA: "Book's nearly complete, my metallic friend."

[SHE CHUCKLES AND ACCIDENTALLY SPILLS VEGETABLE JUICE ON HER BIB.]

HK-47: "Argument. Do you truly intend to bore your readers to tears by covering every mundane detail of what transpired on those utterly-forgettable planets? They were hardly exciting in first person."

[THE OLD BAG BURPS. A SECOND, LONGER BURP. SHE HAS GAS ON MOST MORNINGS. I BELIEVE THE CAF IS THE CULPRIT. SHE IGNORES ME WHEN I TELL HER TO DRINK LESS OF IT.]

BASTILA: "Excuse me. Oh. How do you mean by mundane?"

HK-47: "Continued. Our missions in the Jedi Civil War are well-documented. The T-3 astromech droid and I relinguished our records of those events to Jedi Archivists years ago, if you will remember. Historians also interviewed Revan's other meatbag allies for their accounts of the same period."

BASTILA: "I suppose you're right that I could add little more."

HK-47: "Reassuring statement. I am sure your meat-bag audience will appreciate you not straining their already limited attention spans."

[MY MISTRESS FELL ASLEEP AFTER I SAID 'REASSURING STATEMENT'. HERE I AM, RELEGATED TO HER PERSONAL SERVANT WHEN I SHOULD BE OUT NEUTRALIZING TARGETS. KILLING. POW POW POW.]

[FIVE MINUTES LATER. SHE SLOBBERS ON HERSELF AND SNORES. I CAN TAKE NO MORE OF THIS. I EXCLAIM HER NAME AS IF THERE IS A LIFE-THREATENING EMERGENCY.]

BASTILA: "Yes? What?"

HK-47: "Observation. Those events are common knowledge among the public. The holodrama Knights of the Galactic Republic was a critical and box office success a decade ago."

[TWI'LEK MAID ENTERS AND TAKES HER PLATE. DESPITE THE MAID HAVING BEEN EMPLOYED HERE FOR A NUMBER OF MONTHS, THE MISTRESS ASKS FOR THE GIRL'S NAME. THE TWI'LEK TREATS MY MISTRESS LIKE AN INFANT, DEMEANING ME BY PROXY.]

[TWI'LEK GIRL HELPS MISTRESS CHANGE FROM HER BATH ROBE INTO A DRESS. OH DEAR. THE DRESS IS LOW-CUT. SHE DOESN'T WEAR A BRA. THOSE DROOPING MILK BAGS REMIND ME THAT I MUST ASK MASTER TO INSTALL A SELF-DESTRUCT PROTOCOL.]

[MISTRESS SITS DOWN IN CHAIR BY WINDOW. MAID LEAVES.]

BASTILA: "The public records are accurate. . . to a point. Accurate right up. . . right up until Korriban."

"Darth Malak kidnapped me aboard his flagship the Leviathan as my comrades escaped. The Dark Lord took me to the Star Forge where he tortured me for over a week, trying to seduce me to the Dark Side. I resisted his excruciating Force-lightning and nerve-wracking serums for long, long days. But I finally gave in to the Dark Side and became his apprentice."

HK-47: "Criticism. You were a boring Jedi who would have made for an underwhelming Sith."

"Note. Critics lambasted the performance of the actress who portrayed you in Knights of the Galactic Republic. But I do believe she, how do they put it. . . nailed your personality."

BASTILA: "Moving on."

"People thought of me as a powerful, but arrogant young padawan who fell to evil. They love the irony of that. They are attracted to the romance of the conclusion."

HK-47: "Mockery. Malak turned out to be sexually dysfunctional. Please take me back to bed, master, and show me your dark power."

BASTILA: "A redeemed Revan boarded the Star Forge, broke through the enemy ranks of Rakatan droids and Dark Jedi to reach me. Then we met as enemies and we passionately dueled. He won. I asked him to kill me, begged him. But he spared me and said how he yet believed in my good heart. We admitted our love for another and I returned to the light."

"But the pivotal week for which the citizens of the galaxy remember Bastila Shan. . . it is fictitious."

[SHE TAKES CANE FROM BESIDE CHAIR. WHIMPERS IN PAIN AS SHE STANDS.]

"The Galactic Senate and Jedi Order rewrote that part of history. That's why I need to do this. I've lived with this secret for decade upon decade, helping the lie to grow, trying to cover up the truth. You know as well as I, HK-47, that once we landed on Korriban, the story diverged drastically. You showed the Archivists the recordings. T-3 showed them. Our crew went on to reveal the facts to hundreds, but. . . the Republic buried the last third of the tale. I helped them."