Possessed said:
darth_ender said:
I agree with Warbler. However, since you are not planning on listening at present, please, if you feel yourself starting to slip into suicidal thinking, immediately go to the hospital. If you were injured in an accident, you wouldn't think twice about spending a few days in recovery. Suicidality is no less an emergency than a critical injury, and I'm sure your job would understand. We'll never get that cut of ROTJ if you don't get help ;)
Okay, what you guys are saying about me taking time off of work makes sense. It really does. But something you are failing to include in your calculations (not a criticism or anything, really I do appreciate the thoughts) is that I need my coworkers. They are my best friends, they are my family. They care about me on a personal level that goes beyond work. It's not just the one lady I was talking about earlier, I'm close to a number of them as well. Many of them know about my substance problems, many of them know about my depression problems, a few even know about both. Only one (the lady) knows about my suicide attempt, and suffice it to say she is not happy about it. (Not that she punishes me or tried to make me feel bad about it) She ended up in tears and asking me why I didn't call her. I need people like that in my life, if I lose this job I lose my family. (Because the part that is my family isn't the part that would be making the decision to fire me so I can't depend on them to help me get time off)
Perhaps equally to consider is if your family might be concerned enough about your welfare to take preemptive action...for what might offer the greatest possible outcome: that you take the first steps in attending to your affairs with the full knowledge and support of your family or that you do nothing, continue to worsen, so that finally a concerned co-worker might mention your difficulties to another who might relay the information onto management? For you might be quite certain that management will indeed react...at which point you will have lost your family, support structure, and source of employment all at once.
Further, to management, who might be considered more believable as being worthy of redemption: an employee who voluntarily places himself in rehab or an individual who must finally be forced to go? For in the first case it might be certain that you might have the support of your peers, even to the extent that should you lose your position you have a very interesting moral dilemma to present to certain interested parties as a last result if management stonewalls...while in the latter case are you not simply to be considered yet another sad statistic of unrepentant substance abuse?
Kindly take action while the opportunity is yet under your purview. Perhaps begin with a counseling session on your next day off. Explain your situation and see what types of programs might exist for you to improve against your dependencies...surely this nominal effort might be well worth pursuing...?
Regards,
Praetorian